Cleaning Out ... Clearing Up! 
(Recovery Prayers and De-cluttering) 

Post 58

Our recent garage-organization project was on my mind the other day ... such a simple design ... and definitely DIY.  Yes, free-standing shelves and big plastic bins (with covers, definitely) were added ... plus new pegboard now covers most of the walls.  The timing - weather-wise - was perfect: cool days providing slightly brisk conditions that kept the energy flowing without summer's debilitating heat and humidity. We found all kinds of STUFF - much of it to be safely recycled.  Interestingly, several items were uncovered that (1) previously, we had spent time searching and searching; and (2) we had forgotten we ever had! 

When all was said and done, several good "finds" were made.  Obviously, we rediscovered the garage's roominess- including a larger-than-we-thought bump-out area, perfect for a small workshop.  Additionally, there were several unused heavy-duty hanging hooks already fitting into older pegboard spots.  Then too,  we found abundant, untouched space in the old, repurposed kitchen wall cabinets.  In other words, usable areas filled the garage; but they had not been in service, thanks to CLUTTER!

Inspired by the success of our garage project, I moved on to my sewing box, an old trunk, and a large dresser drawer.  Now, I was on a roll!  Once more, I found roominess after the weeding out was completed.  It was the trunk, however, that brought forth new revelations.  This container was crammed with documents, articles, magazines, pictures, cards and letters, old sermons, and most of the term papers from my ministry classes.

As I continued to plow through the paper piles, I grew more and more appreciative of the many experiences and interpersonal dynamics that each piece of paper represented.  The course grades and professors' positive comments pointed to - yes - long, long hours of work and study AND to Divine guidance and wisdom that accompanied me.  I read several papers and shook my head ... it had to have been God who kept me focused, granted insight, and provided the energy to fulfill the course requirements.  At the bottom of the trunk was a heavy box overflowing with letters and cards with so many thoughtful notes - especially during a most difficult time of medical crises for us years ago. 

And then, there was the plastic bag packed with clipped, inspirational articles.  They will be read again and sorted.  My father had made it a weekly practice to write each of his adult children a letter.  Into his 90's the letters regularly came.  He would clip coupons too for all of us - and stuff them along with his single page letters into plain white envelopes.  Almost always, along with the coupons, Dad's weekly packets to me included several articles written by pastors or other faith-based authors. He thought I might be able to use them for my weekly sermons.  Again and again, those articles came ... and I did use a good number of them.  Most of all, I appreciated his wanting to support his daughter's later-in-life call into ministry.  To go over these articles, personally and purposefully selected by my father, will anoint my days to come ... with affirmation from both of my Fathers.  

So in the spirit of recovering the lost/forgotten/unused/neglected/cluttered areas of our lives, this month's edition of the GRM Blog brings forth Prayers as We De-clutter - and Recover !

PRAYERS AS WE DE-CLUTTER - AND RECOVER!

1.  Thank You, God, for giving to me the motivation - even if it's just a beginning, small amount - to start the task of reorganizing this spot (area) in my life.
2.  Thank You for giving me the energy and focus to do the work.
3.  Thank You for increased spaces that I will find in accomplishing my project ... help me to put these areas to work for (not against) my recovery.
4.  As I locate, once-thought, lost items, remind me of personal qualities I am re-experiencing and newly developing in recovery.
5.  As I sort through countless items, reaffirm to me that I was - and still am - a person of worth.  Show me certain "treasures" of past days that will re-enforce my efforts in the journey to recovery.
6.  Last - but most of all - I give You thanks and praise for the work You are doing within me!

For more information on problem gambling and recovery issues, visit www.grmumc.org .

Blessings,

Rev. Janet Jacobs
Founding Director
Gambling Recovery Ministries

Reach Out!

Post 57

In February, I was contacted by National Council on Problem Gambling committee members with a request to telephonically meet with them to discuss outreach.  I had been referred to them as one who could provide ideas as to how the Council could reach out to faith-based communities.  The basic question was, What are the most effective ways to share information on problem gambling with religious leaders and their parishes? 

In preparing for the teleconference, I jotted down several "best-practice" and successfully proven experiences I have had in connecting with faith-based communities.  As the list lengthened, the need grew, also, to share - broadly - these endeavors.  So ... here is the list!  

REACHING OUT TO FAITH COMMUNITIES CHECKLIST

1.  Reach out to specific faith-based places of worship/agencies/ministry centers/treatment centers that already deal with addiction issues.  Often, these entities will be open to gaining more information that are recovery-specific with regard to gambling problem.  However, such centers/parishes may not be up to speed on knowledge about gambling addiction - much less, having awareness of their area's certified compulsive gambling treatment providers, GA/Gam-Anon Meetings, or even problem gambling help-line numbers.  Therefore, go where addiction is already part of the conversation and join in!
An excellent example of a faith-based treatment center - already addressing gambling issues - is Salvation Army's Harbor Light Center in Indianapolis.  Check with the Harbor Light staff about their established connections with churches, agencies, and other ministry centers that would be receptive to information about problem gambling and recovery issues.

2.  Some States have State employees whose job description calls for interacting with the faith-based community with regard to addiction issues - problem gambling included.  Connecting with these persons may provide excellent partnering relationships in outreach to many people!

3.  Use the person-to-person approach and utilize your own resources.  Individuals with strong faith-based connections, generally,  provide personal encouragement to clergy and lay leaders alike.  These folks can be great door-openers for meeting with congregational leaders and parish clergy.

4.  Congregations often have "Social Justice" or "Social Concerns" types of committees.  Community outreach usually falls to these groups.

5.   Be prepared!  Have quality materials - in quantity - about problem gambling and recovery issues.  Include practical information such as listings of certified compulsive gambling treatment providers and Gamblers Anonymous/Gam-Anon Meetings.  Also, have speakers ready and willing to present programs in faith-based settings - both professionals and GA/Gam-Anon members.

6.  Consider going all out and sponsor educational conferences for interfaith audiences on gambling addiction and recovery.  Expanding the topics to include substance abuse and other addictions without substance may bring a larger response, as well.  Work together with other mental health leaders to put together a top-rate program.  Have a point-person from the faith-based community to serve on the event's planning committee.  Gear publicity to both faith-based and secular audiences.  Grant CEUs!  An example of such a program is detailed in the GRM Blog, September 2013 edition.  This describes the First Responder Conference - held on September 13, 2013 in Indianapolis.

7.  When visiting with clergy, refer to Gambling Recovery Ministries website www.grmumc.org Click on "Ministry" and then "Initial Contact".  This is a mini-tutorial script  for clergy who are speaking for the first time with a person affected by problem gambling.  Again, this is another very practical help that can be shared with clergy of all faiths.
 
In closing, I want to encourage you: share the good news of hope, help, and recovery to communities of faith.  Just about every time I present a program about problem gambling to a congregation, a person will share with me afterward how gambling addiction has directly touched his/her life. 

 Reach out!  Many are waiting for help and healing ... and the good news that you can bring!

Blessings,

Rev. Janet Jacobs
Founding Director
Gambling Recovery Ministries

 

 

       

  

Re

Climbing the Steps: Setting Goals and Reaching Them!

Post 56

In January, I didn't envision or plan to start the new "Blog Year" with a three-part series on accomplishing resolutions.  However, the immediate past two Posts have flowed along this pattern; and then this month, one more set of reminders for achieving goals came my way.  For several weeks now, I have been a part of a program for Lent called "Forty Days to Integrity".  Each day during the Lenten Season, I view a different, five minute video presented by Reverend Dr. Bill Jenkins.  Easily accessible, these short programs come via e-mail through www.eintegrity.net . 

As I was watching one of these clips, Seven Strategies for Reaching Your Goals, a light bulb blinked on: utilize these strategies in working on and achieving each of the Twelve Steps.  So often, one hears that a certain Step - for an individual - seems to be more difficult to accomplish than the others.  The next thought that came to mind was that (of course!) each Step, in itself, is a goal of recovery on the way to accomplishing the ultimate goal of full recovery.  So then, why not apply these "Strategies" for reaching recovery goals throughout the working of each of the Steps!

Therefore, while a person works an individual Step, some or all of the strategies can be great tools.  Take a close look at the Seven Strategies below.  Then review the Gamblers Anonymous and Gam-Anon Twelve Steps to Recovery.  See how many of the Strategies can apply within the recovery work for each Step.  Indeed, I think you will find that most or many of them will be of significant help in accomplishing the many goals of recovery - one Step at a time! 

SEVEN STRATEGIES FOR REACHING YOUR GOALS  www.eintegrity.net

1.  Think the BIG picture.  (What does recovery-in-all-kinds-of-ways look like to you?)

2.  Write it down.  (You can review and thus remember exactly what your goals are.)

3.  Break your big goals into smaller steps.  (Mini-steps of recovery within each Step!)

4.  Prioritize  (This helps you to see your mini-goals more clearly; and keeps you more organized.)

5.  Set deadlines and milestones BUT be realistic and make them measurable.  (Again: be realistic!)

6.  Use great role models  - persons who inspire you. (Persons you know AND/OR those you only  
     know about.)

7.  Keep your eye on the "prize".  (Your recovery goals for each Step.)  

For more information on "40 Days to Integrity" contact Dr. Bill Jenkins, through his contact information at www.christsd.com . 

For listings of the Gamblers Anonymous 12 Steps to Recovery and the Gam-Anon Twelve Steps, go to www.gamblersanonymous.org  and  www.gam-anon.org .  In addition, the National Hotline for GA is (888) GA-HELPS.

Blessings,

Rev. Janet Jacobs
Founding Director
Gambling Recovery Ministries

 

Post 55

Failure: Let's Take Another Look

Earlier this month I commented on the observation that most New Year's Resolutions are discarded or given up as failed attempts by the end of February.  If you made a resolution in January, how are you doing?  Are you experiencing success in new endeavors?  Are modifications in behavior taking hold and beginning to feel normal?  Hopefully - regardless of the results so far - you have not given yourself the big, red-inked "F" and labeled yourself as a failure.

"Failure" is a tough word.  Nobody likes to see themselves in this context.  We shrink at the sight of a failing grade on a test.  We shrink again at the disappointment that failure to accomplish may bring to others - and to ourselves.  Then too, failure may be labeled in terms that are even more demeaning and unrealistic than the failed act truly is.  Worse yet, we can be the label-making, finger-pointers.

Last year, I read an article about this very topic of "failure".  The author placed a kinder, more gentle emphasis on accomplishments gone sour or not completed.  Rather than seeing failure as an end-of-the-line product, the readers are encouraged to express their failed or not-so-perfect attempts as a stage in the process of change and/or learning.

As I read this explanation, I thought about my first attempt at sewing a dress from scratch.  Well, I did complete the work and was able to wear the dress but it didn't quite look like the image on the pattern cover - nor did it fit exactly how I thought it should.  So what was my response to this very difficult (for me) project?  I recognized that there was a lot of unexpected learning built into first-ever undertakings!  Below is a list of these lessons learned.  Included are italicized observations or questions that may be of help as you tackle new attempts to achieve desired goals in 2014.
           
1.  Into the project, I wound up seeking help from a more experienced seamstress.  She was able to complete the shoulder seams so they would fit! 
Seek expert help first.  Don't be afraid to ask for help before, during, or after a project!

2.  I selected a pattern more suitable for a higher-level seamstress. 
Consider the realistic nature of your goal/resolution.  Is it more accomplishable in segments? Can you achieve your final desired goal by way of steps that are more realistic for your abilities/nature/individual setting?   

 3.  I selected fabric that was prone to raveling - and therefore, very difficult to cut and sew on the machine.  I learned that this material was a nightmare - at my level of sewing ability - to work with.
What helps/knowledge/equipment do you have to achieve your goal?  What do you need - from the beginning - to start your endeavor?   

4.  I discovered, later, that I enjoyed sewing and working with materials - but not dressmaking!  Instead, curtains, tablecloths, napkins, and pillow shams were more pleasing projects for me to make and enjoy.
Disappointing results may actually lead to more workable - and satisfying - outcomes ... even new accomplishments!

5.  I regretted spending money on expensive material for a product that turned out to be a disappointment.
Looking back, I learned that the above lessons learned were more valuable than the cost of the pricey fabric.  Over time, these lessons have morphed into priceless guides and words of wisdom for me - and others!

In closing, let us remember that life - in its fullness - is about learning.  Recovery too is about steps ... and the personal learning that comes with each step, toward healing and wholeness.

Blessings,

Rev. Janet Jacobs
Founding Director
Gambling Recovery Ministries

For more information on relapse and recovery, go to www.grmumc.org  

Post 54  

IT’S ABOUT TIME

  
It’s [all] about time

It’s about time …

It’s about time!!!

Happy New Year!  Already, Super Bowl 2014 is history; and I am just now starting the January GRM Blog.  It’s about time!  Seriously, as the month of January flew by – and my theme song for the month continued to be Where Has the Time Gone? -  I began to formulate the Blog message to start this new year. 

In truth, the element of time has much to do with New Year’s Resolutions – and their success.  Working in modifications or complete change within our established life patterns involves time. Both doing and undoing certain aspects of our individual behaviors mandate deliberate time spent to affect desired results.  I heard a recent sermon wherein the preacher said that most resolutions made at the beginning of the new year are given up by the end of February.  What happened?  My guess is that time was not devoted to making the hoped-for results take hold and develop. 

So let’s talk about the element of time.  There are many expressions incorporating this concept.  Time is money.  It’s all about timing.  The world’s time vs God’s Time.  Be on time!  Time will tell.  We could fill more lines with similar sayings but the picture is clear: time spent  and  timing can make a difference in people’s lives!

Not long ago, a friend shared with me that she is going to be deliberate about working into her schedule daily therapeutic exercises.  She added that the closing statement said at the end of support group meetings “It works if you work it” is not one of her favorite sayings. However, she continued, It’s really true, anyway.

It was then I reminded her that what was next said was most  important: “and you’re worth it!” In other words, change (i.e., spending time working toward change) is the way to achieve the desired results AND a person’s claim to be “worth it” is the basic motivation for this change to take place.

Therefore, to emphasize the essential role that time plays in recovery efforts, I have revised a number of the Gamblers Anonymous 20 Questions in terms of one’s devoting time to the work of recovery.  Hopefully, this Check List will provide a practical and helpful reminder to use time as an essential tool in recovery.

TAKING-TIME-FOR-RECOVERY CHECKLIST

1.    Calculate: how much more time would you have at work for work (at school for schoolwork) if you did not engage in gambling activities (in the workplace or at school)?

2.    Set aside at least one-half hour of time at home doing something enjoyable instead of gambling;  increase this ”new time” by additional ½ hour increments on a weekly or monthly basis.

3.    Take time to arrange payment plans for debts with creditors. 

4.    Spend a set amount of time weekly to budget and pay household bills and other financial obligations. 

5.    Invest time in Gamblers Anonymous:  attend weekly (or more) Meetings; attend a GA Budget Relief Session with a significant family member or friend;  participate in GA conferences and celebrations (“Pinnings”)

6.    When you are plagued with worries and troubles, take deliberate time to talk with a counselor, pastor, and/or trusted recovery friend (or sponsor) instead of letting the worries consume hours of your day/night.  If you feel that you “need” to worry, set aside a certain, limited daily amount of time (a set number of  minutes); focus on the worries only; when time is up, restrict your worrying to the next day’s prescribed amount of minutes to worry (i.e., your “Worry Time”). 

7.    When an urge to gamble attacks, set a timer for five minutes.  At the end of the 5 minutes, remind yourself that you did not gamble for that amount of time – even though the urge was there.  Then set another segment of minutes’ timing to stave off a further urge.  Keep doing this until the urge fades and is no longer immediately threatening.  The urge will fade!

8.    Calculate the amount of time you spend (1) daily thinking about gambling, (2) arguing with family members, (3) creating ways to hide gambling activities, and/or (4) creating ways to obtain extra gambling money.

9.    Calculate how many hours of sleep that you lose worrying about finances.

10. Consider the expression: time is money; as you have been in recovery, calculate how much further ahead you are, financially speaking, now that you have spent less time involved in gambling activities/thoughts/actions to hide gambling, etc.  

                                              Recovery?  It’s about time!!             

Blessings,

      Rev. Janet Jacobs
      Founding Director
      Gambling Recovery Ministries

For more information on the Gamblers Anonymous Twenty Questions, go to www.gamblersanonymous.org

      For detailed information on problem gambling recovery issues, visit www.grmumc.org  

 

Post 46

December: LIFE LIGHTS

Lights on the rooftops and bushes, lights on menorahs, candlelight services, lights on Christmas trees … lights, lights, lights!  

Throughout this month of December, it would be hard to miss light displays – inside and outside!  Christians hear, once again, the nativity story of the baby Jesus born in a stable - thus coming as the Light to a World shadowed by darkness and bondage.  Jews celebrate Chanukah to remember the Holy Temple’s menorah burning miraculously for eight days - with only a one-day supply of uncontaminated oil - following a miraculous victory against one of the mightiest armies on earth at the time.  

Indeed, the multitudes of light in December are welcomed as the days grow shorter and night time comes so quickly that darkness falls - even before suppertime!    

For December’s Blog, I want to share with you a special visit that my husband and I experienced recently.  We were invited to tour the Salvation Army Harbor Light Center  www.corps.salvationarmyindiana.org/harborlight/welcome/about-us/  in Indianapolis.  We found a multi-use facility for detox (Indiana’s only public detox unit), residential treatment, and transitional housing … along with many accompanying services.  Throughout our visit, I kept thinking how the light of hope filled each wing and corner of the Center!

Interestingly, a good number of the clients are receiving help for several issues – including compulsive gambling.  I asked how there happened to be so many undergoing treatment for gambling problems; and the answer was clear: assessment is made for problem gambling along with other issues.  As it has been said before by countless others, if you don’t ask, you probably won’t hear!    

With this said, however, I do want to add that if the assessment is made, be prepared!  Indiana, as well as quite a few other States, offer training in problem gambling counseling.  Information on the Indiana trainings can be found on the Indiana Problem Gambling Awareness Program website (www.ipgap.indiana.edu ).   For information on national certification for problem gambling counseling, go to www.ipgap.indiana.edu/problem-gambling/certification .

Also, you can see a listing of Indiana’s problem gambling treatment providers listed on the Indiana Council on Problem Gambling website at www.indianaproblemgambling.org/providers.cfm . 

Then too, the California Office of Problem Gambling lists the State’s treatment providers on their webpage http://problemgambling.securespsites.com/ccpgwebsite/help-available/treatment-services.aspx . 
 Additionally, the California Council on Problem Gambling provides lists of treatment providers at  www.calproblemgambling.org/all-resources .

For information on problem gambling treatment providers in other States, go to the National Council on Problem Gambling web page on resources by States:  www.ncpgambling.org/i4a/pages/index.cfm?pageid=3311 .  

As we close out this year of 2013, I will ask a simple question: how many times have each of us brought light into another person’s world?  It is my prayer that we can be light bearers of hope – in small and large ways – to all we meet … regardless of how minor we may think our impact is on others!

Blessings,

Rev. Janet Jacobs

Founding Director
Gambling Recovery Ministries

For more information on problem gambling recovery issues, go to www.grmumc.org     

Post 45

 November:  THANK YOU COUNCILS!

 On this cold, snowy and windy Thanksgiving Eve, the phone call I received yesterday brings a smile of gratefulness to mind.  The inquiry came with a request for help.  Could I provide assistance to some Indiana folks involved in outreach to problem gamblers?  As it turns out, Jerry Long, Indiana Council on Problem Gambling Director, had suggested that they check with me.  I was more than happy to assist … and this new connection speaks exactly to our November GRM Blog topic: collaboration with Councils/Associations on Problem Gambling. 

To conclude my series on Collaboration, I want to spotlight these organizations as valuable resources.

 Commonly, Councils on Problem Gambling provide free materials on compulsive gambling and recovery issues in the form of brochures and fact sheets.  These may be in hard copy form and/or downloadable.  As previously mentioned in the August Blog Post, the California Council of Problem Gambling www.calproblemgambling.org and the California Office on Problem Gambling www.problemgambling.securespsites.com   graciously sent me cartons of materials for the new GRM Resource Center at the Christ Ministry Center www.christsd.com in San Diego.  Actually, the California resources have an impressive variety of materials in multiple languages: and I mean multiple!  Then too, over the years, Gambling Recovery Ministries has been, particularly, blessed with numerous brochures, “warning cards”, posters, and booklets from both the Indiana and Kentucky Councils on Problem Gambling.

 Communication (written and spoken) is another valuable form of collaboration.  When I needed guest columnists for the grm resource center newsletter, help came readily.  Judy Heriff (Michigan Association on Problem Gambling www.michapg.com ), Carol O’Hare (Nevada Council on Problem Gambling www.nevadacouncil.org ), and Curtis Barrett, Ph.D. (Kentucky Council on Problem Gambling www.kycpg.org ) wrote articles.  In addition, Jerry Long invites me to write a Gambling Recovery Ministries Report in the Indiana Council’s Newsletter www.indianaproblemgambling.org. Another example of collaborative writing comes from Dr. Deborah Haskins’ article, Congregational Ministry to Problem Gamblers (Christian Reflection magazine, The Gambling Culture, summer 2011 edition, published by the Center for Christian Ethics at Baylor University www.baylor.edu ).  Deborah Haskins, Ph.D., President of the Maryland Council on Problem Gambling, not only provides a most foundational paper to address the need for faith-based ministry to those affected by gambling addiction, she offers GRM as a working model!   

Moreover, GRM’s unique faith-based niche in the national arena of problem gambling recovery work has not gone un-noticed.  Invitations for me to speak at statewide, regional, and national events have come from the Council on Compulsive Gambling of New Jersey  www.800gambler.org and the National Council on Problem Gambling www.ncpgambling.org, as well as from the Kentucky, Indiana, and Nevada Councils and the Ohio Department of Mental Health & Addiction Services www.mha.ohio.gov.  It is a beautiful blessing to present workshops on the essential role that spirituality plays in the recovery process!  

 Furthermore, educational events, are - in themselves – very special collaborative forms of supporting each other’s efforts in the problem gambling recovery field.  Not only is valuable information shared, but also, networking opportunities abound at such gatherings.  Under the direction of Mike Stone, the Kentucky Council goes another step further, in collaboration, at their KYCPG Annual Education Event (January 30-31, 2014).  Immediately following this conference’s final workshop, the Council hosts a supper buffet to those attending the Gamblers Anonymous/Gam-Anon Lexington Mini-Conference (which begins that evening).  It is a special time, for all, in opening the doors to  “recovery conversation”!

 Finally, Council websites are a wonderful means of collaboration … though many may not have thought of it in this way.  A quick perusal of Council on Problem Gambling websites brings a plethora of information directly into homes and offices throughout the world.  Even if no active discussion ever takes place, the exchange of information and materials does!  I term this as “silent collaboration” … and, at the same time, I underscore the essential value of such support and assistance. 

Information, e-introductions, and inspiration … it’s all found on the websites!

 In closing this series, I want to include a sound bite from the Maryland Council on Problem Gambling/Maryland Center of Excellence on Problem Gambling www.mdproblemgambling.com.  It’s a great example of the kinds of data you can share … thanks to a Council’s collaborative work!

 
HOW MUCH CAN YOU LOSE?

If you gamble once a year, on average, you will spend $45.79 per month gambling.

If you gamble once a month, on average, you will spend $148.00 per month gambling.
If you gamble once a week, on average, you will spend $548.97 per month on gambling.

For further information on problem gambling and recovery issues, visit www.grmumc.org

Blessings,

Rev. Janet Jacobs
Founding Director
Gambling Recovery Ministries