Post 22

A “Recovery Tree” with Promises/Presents


Recently, I was privileged to be a part of a discussion about a new take on celebrating recovery at Christmas. We had first talked about how anticipation and expectations of family holiday traditions can run wild. In fact, layer upon layer of annual yuletide goings-on can seem to hold families and individuals in bondage! But we’ve always had Aunt Virgie’s cinnamon buns for Christmas breakfast! … even when they take forever to prepare and bake!

Additionaly, agreement centered around the fact that family dynamics can be severely impacted by gambling addiction. Perhaps, Mom and/or Dad used to carry out family celebrations resulting in ideal scrapbook memories. But things changed - and one or both of the parents was/were not always at home – even for those important celebrations as birthdays or Christmas. Sadly, promises to attend special events became unbelievable. Or maybe heated arguments started to hold sway where, once, family joking and pleasant conversations were the norm.

However, as a person enters recovery, she/he begins to look forward to life’s becoming increasingly stabilized. Certainly, more time is available to spend with loved ones. Hopefully, a bit of money can be saved for modest gift giving. Sadly, but understandably, family members may not have caught up to new expectations held by the person in recovery. Trust may not be regained … and disappointment doesn’t want to be experienced, yet again.

Still, the one in recovery does need to celebrate, especially at a time when others are joining into an atmosphere of celebration. I do want to say that if loved ones are accepting of the recovering person’s progress, that’s wonderful! That’s ideal! However, if he or she, in recovery, senses reluctance on the part of others to fully celebrate – or even to be antagonistic - there can be a very creative, and prayerfully, fulfilling way to include one’s progress into the festivities – privately.

Our discussion first focused on how the GA Promises in Recovery can actually serve as presents to those recovering compulsive gamblers. Working the Gamblers Anonymous 12 Steps, the reality of recovery becomes more and more achievable and attainable. Life does become more manageable; trust in one’s Higher Power opens up an entirely new perspective; accountability and amends are a part of everyday living; and helping others know that there is real hope and help for problem gambling is rewarding – all of these, truly, become gifts to the one in recovery!

As we talked, someone quickly introduced the idea of – somehow – materializing these promises into the Christmas home scene. We settled upon the Christmas tree arena; and ideas began to fly! How about those miniature gift boxes? Each could have a word written on them to symbolize a certain point of progress (a “promise”) attained: peace, hope, goals (could be individually named), patience, prayer, love, freedom, Meetings, a new job, a family celebration, etc. Christmas card pictures depicting the promises could be fashioned into tree ornaments. Even a nativity scene’s figures may represent various aspects of the person’s recovery. Moreover, creative individuals could design their own promise ornaments.

Interestingly, the idea of quiet messages was discussed. As mentioned, there may be hostility present within the family dynamics. Loved ones may not be willing – yet – to fully accept that the problem gambler is serious about his/her recovery. Perhaps, the recovering individual will need to identify privately the new ornaments with their still hidden meanings. Hopefully, next year will be the time to explain the symbolism!

May God bless you during this Christmas season with a sense of true celebration!


For more information on the Promises of Alcoholics Anonymous, go to http://www.step12.com/promises.html

For more information on Gamblers Anonymous, go to www.gamblersanonymous.org

Also, you will find more information for loved ones of problem gamblers at
www.gam-anon.org

Check out www.grmumc.org for more referral information on problem gambling recovery issues.

Rev. Janet Jacobs
Director, Gambling Recovery Ministries