Post
86
Whether
(or not, recovery will bring fair “weather”??) Forecasts:
Part
2 of a Series of 3
Well, as not predicted,
Midwest USA weather has continued to be summer. It’s three days into Fall and
forecasts are for 90 degrees here today!
Next week though… highs in the 70s are promised. And so it goes, eventually, we will get to the promised, lovely temperatures of
autumn.
Recovery can be like that too: eventually, eventually! And still, we need goals, promises, and
affirming predictions. A friend in
recovery, years ago, advised me, in my work as Director of Gambling Recovery
Ministries: Keep it simple, Janet, keep
it simple. And she was so very
right. As I include within my
presentations to clergy and other professionals, each person seeking help,
comes with his/her own individual
territory. Whether folks are
genetically predisposed, environmentally impacted, or a combination thereof,
recovery has its own path … sometimes uphill, or smooth, and/or ditch-prone. Most likely, recovery is a mosaic of many,
mini (and at times maxi) journeys.
To be sure, affirming predictions are valuable – with
timing, cautiously, an individual matter.
In other words, without positives
… why bother? Still, even a health –
or otherwise - scare (or negative motivation)
can be turned into a positive.
As we take a look at Steps 4-9 in this edition of the GRM Blog, we’ll see the deep trench-work of the 12 Steps to
Recovery program. It is, particularly,
in working these Steps, that one becomes aware of both the denial-smashing and
the strength-building that will occur and develop. Indeed, it can be said that this is when the
Talk truly becomes the Walk!
FORCASTING
RECOVERY: STEP BY STEP
Step
4: [We make]
made a searching and fearless
moral and financial inventory of ourselves
We may ease into this Step – at first – because it is a
one-on-one facing of ourselves, only by ourselves. It’s an introduction, so to speak, to self-honesty. Both the moral and the financial aspects of
our lives will intertwine. Untangling
will begin - only to find more tangles. Again,
keeping things simple, warrants plenty of time to be devoted to working this
Step.
Then too, we are to include BOTH the positives and the
negatives within our inventories. As we
inspect our lists, we discover more – and
we begin to feel freer to discover more.
The person we are inventorying is actually not a blur … rather, there are actual qualities to improve and
eliminate, as well as the positives we can old in esteem (even if we think they
are only specks). Thus the work before
us – at least – seems somewhat tangible.
STEP
5: [We admit] admitted
to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs
As self-honesty
has developed during Step 4, we are becoming less defensive of past
actions/attitudes/thoughts. Self-admission
– rather than self-justifying – begins to make thinking about our lives less
complicated. It is what it is, we may tell ourselves often.
When it comes time to take on Step 5, we can approach
another person (a trusted one!) with more openness and less shame. Yes, there will be feelings of guilt but somehow the speaking aloud to a trusted person begins to extract the wrong(s) from the
shame-encrusted, secreted corners of our minds - and puts them on the going-to-do-something-about-it
work-table. Most likely –
now - it is in expanding our recovery work to include another individual, we
become more willing to actively take on accountability. We are no longer humanly alone.
STEPS
6, 7, 8, and 9: WORK!
WORK! WORK! WORK!
STEP 6: [We
are] were
entirely ready to have these defects of character removed
Entirely
ready is facing the future, being open to start a new chapter
in life, feeling prepared to leave harmful ways, and TO CHANGE.
This Step renders the old, dysfunctional mechanisms and
attitudes useless to us anymore … no longer a functioning part of our being,
and deemed counterproductive to all aspects of healthy living.
STEP
7: [We] humbly
ask God (of our understanding) to remove our shortcomings
Now, we have a clearer picture of how to ask God for help. Again,
we realize that we are not alone – and from Step 3 on, we have already
experienced divine care in granting us courage to share our moral and financial
inventories with another person, as well as being ready to change and not rely
on our old shortcoming ways.
STEP
8: [We make] made a
list of all persons we had harmed and became [become] willing to make amends to them all
Our shortcomings and character defects take on personal
faces. Being entirely ready as in Step 6, may challenge our senses of courage
and resolve. Making the list helps us to take one situation at a time – and not
become overwhelmed. God’s care continues
as progress in recovery is reflected in our calling for guidance in making this
list. As we work this Step, each listing
becomes an opening for a new relationship and/or a lighter sense of debt
(financial and otherwise).
STEP
9: [We] make
amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them
or others
Working this Step is a compilation of progressing through
all of the previous Steps … belief in a power greater than ourselves, honesty
in self-assessment, acceptance, reaching out, responsibility, relationship
building. There’s a willingness to act
and speak minus the crutches of former
character defects. Empathy and patience for those impacted helps us
to see others in a new light. Forgiving and
seeking forgiveness deepen our commitment to recovery. Loving
oneself and others now takes on new depths.
Next month, we will take a look at Steps 10-12 … the
necessary maintenance steps.
Remember: Progress in recovery is always progress!
Join us in October!
Blessings,
Rev. Janet JacobsFounding Director
Gambling Recovery Ministries
