A “Recovery Tree” with Promises/Presents
Recently, I was privileged to be a part of a discussion about a new take on celebrating recovery at Christmas. We had first talked about how anticipation and expectations of family holiday traditions can run wild. In fact, layer upon layer of annual yuletide goings-on can seem to hold families and individuals in bondage! But we’ve always had Aunt Virgie’s cinnamon buns for Christmas breakfast! … even when they take forever to prepare and bake!
Additionaly, agreement centered around the fact that family dynamics can be severely impacted by gambling addiction. Perhaps, Mom and/or Dad used to carry out family celebrations resulting in ideal scrapbook memories. But things changed - and one or both of the parents was/were not always at home – even for those important celebrations as birthdays or Christmas. Sadly, promises to attend special events became unbelievable. Or maybe heated arguments started to hold sway where, once, family joking and pleasant conversations were the norm.
However, as a person enters recovery, she/he begins to look forward to life’s becoming increasingly stabilized. Certainly, more time is available to spend with loved ones. Hopefully, a bit of money can be saved for modest gift giving. Sadly, but understandably, family members may not have caught up to new expectations held by the person in recovery. Trust may not be regained … and disappointment doesn’t want to be experienced, yet again.
Still, the one in recovery does need to celebrate, especially at a time when others are joining into an atmosphere of celebration. I do want to say that if loved ones are accepting of the recovering person’s progress, that’s wonderful! That’s ideal! However, if he or she, in recovery, senses reluctance on the part of others to fully celebrate – or even to be antagonistic - there can be a very creative, and prayerfully, fulfilling way to include one’s progress into the festivities – privately.
Our discussion first focused on how the GA Promises in Recovery can actually serve as presents to those recovering compulsive gamblers. Working the Gamblers Anonymous 12 Steps, the reality of recovery becomes more and more achievable and attainable. Life does become more manageable; trust in one’s Higher Power opens up an entirely new perspective; accountability and amends are a part of everyday living; and helping others know that there is real hope and help for problem gambling is rewarding – all of these, truly, become gifts to the one in recovery!
As we talked, someone quickly introduced the idea of – somehow – materializing these promises into the Christmas home scene. We settled upon the Christmas tree arena; and ideas began to fly! How about those miniature gift boxes? Each could have a word written on them to symbolize a certain point of progress (a “promise”) attained: peace, hope, goals (could be individually named), patience, prayer, love, freedom, Meetings, a new job, a family celebration, etc. Christmas card pictures depicting the promises could be fashioned into tree ornaments. Even a nativity scene’s figures may represent various aspects of the person’s recovery. Moreover, creative individuals could design their own promise ornaments.
Interestingly, the idea of quiet messages was discussed. As mentioned, there may be hostility present within the family dynamics. Loved ones may not be willing – yet – to fully accept that the problem gambler is serious about his/her recovery. Perhaps, the recovering individual will need to identify privately the new ornaments with their still hidden meanings. Hopefully, next year will be the time to explain the symbolism!
May God bless you during this Christmas season with a sense of true celebration!
For more information on the Promises of Alcoholics Anonymous, go to http://www.step12.com/promises.html
For more information on Gamblers Anonymous, go to www.gamblersanonymous.org
Also, you will find more information for loved ones of problem gamblers at
www.gam-anon.org
Check out www.grmumc.org for more referral information on problem gambling recovery issues.
Rev. Janet Jacobs
Director, Gambling Recovery Ministries
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Post 21
A Giving-Thanks Screen
So often, emphasis is given on assessing whether or not – or how severe – an individual’s gambling problem exists. Commonly, we hear of GA’s and Gam-Anon’s sets of Twenty Questions, the South Oaks Gambling Screen, the SOGS for Adolescents, the Significant Other Gambling Problem Severity screen, the DSM IV Diagnostic Criteria, the FCCG Screen for Older Adults, and several other assessment tools. These are important and should not be omitted when working with clients.
Still as recovery work continues, it is significant for both the client and the therapist to make note of mile markers that chart progress being made. Again, there are therapeutic tools for such purposes as well as client homework questions geared to make note of positive wellness signs.
As Thanksgiving quickly approaches, my reviewing-the-year-thoughts have started in earnest. Asking myself what progress has been made on personal goals and new year’s resolutions (made months ago), the idea to reformat a diagnostic tool into a Giving-Thanks Screen began to take shape.
Looking at GA’s Twenty Questions and several DSM IV Diagnostic Criteria prompted me to put together such a model. Prayerfully, the following questions will not only provide progress assessments but also measurable reasons for giving thanks!
1. Throughout your day, do thoughts of being thankful often come to mind?
2. Do you give thanks for the increasing amounts of money that now enter your bank account due to the fact that money is no longer spent on gambling?
3. Is your day spent in a mode of thanks-living, now that you have passed the stage of restlessness and feelings of irritability associated with unsuccessful attempts to cut back on gambling?
4. Are you thankful that you are free from the lies and excuses you have had to live by, in order to cover up gambling losses and time spent gambling?
5. Do you give thanks for the following that have improved since you no longer gamble: personal relationships, increased performance at work, and sharpened focus within educational/self-improvement pursuits.
6. Are you thankfully relieved that you are no longer trying to obtain money from persons, creditors, or other resources?
7. Thankfully, do you now experience restful sleep, fewer feelings of guilt, and increasingly, fewer arguments?
8. Do you give thanks that every time you now pay a debt, you know that you are making progress in lowering a staggering amount of debts.
9. Are you relieved and thankful that triggers to gamble do not automatically control your actions?
10. Do you feel thankful for new hobbies, interests, and friends made since gambling does not preoccupy your time?
**** Do you tell yourself THANK YOU! for not following through with self-destruction?
**** Do you tell yourself THANK YOU! for saying YES to RECOVERY?
HAPPY AND BLESSED THANKSGIVING!!!
For more information on problem gambling recovery issues, go to www.grmumc.org
Rev. Janet Jacobs
Director, Gambling Recovery Ministries
A Giving-Thanks Screen
So often, emphasis is given on assessing whether or not – or how severe – an individual’s gambling problem exists. Commonly, we hear of GA’s and Gam-Anon’s sets of Twenty Questions, the South Oaks Gambling Screen, the SOGS for Adolescents, the Significant Other Gambling Problem Severity screen, the DSM IV Diagnostic Criteria, the FCCG Screen for Older Adults, and several other assessment tools. These are important and should not be omitted when working with clients.
Still as recovery work continues, it is significant for both the client and the therapist to make note of mile markers that chart progress being made. Again, there are therapeutic tools for such purposes as well as client homework questions geared to make note of positive wellness signs.
As Thanksgiving quickly approaches, my reviewing-the-year-thoughts have started in earnest. Asking myself what progress has been made on personal goals and new year’s resolutions (made months ago), the idea to reformat a diagnostic tool into a Giving-Thanks Screen began to take shape.
Looking at GA’s Twenty Questions and several DSM IV Diagnostic Criteria prompted me to put together such a model. Prayerfully, the following questions will not only provide progress assessments but also measurable reasons for giving thanks!
1. Throughout your day, do thoughts of being thankful often come to mind?
2. Do you give thanks for the increasing amounts of money that now enter your bank account due to the fact that money is no longer spent on gambling?
3. Is your day spent in a mode of thanks-living, now that you have passed the stage of restlessness and feelings of irritability associated with unsuccessful attempts to cut back on gambling?
4. Are you thankful that you are free from the lies and excuses you have had to live by, in order to cover up gambling losses and time spent gambling?
5. Do you give thanks for the following that have improved since you no longer gamble: personal relationships, increased performance at work, and sharpened focus within educational/self-improvement pursuits.
6. Are you thankfully relieved that you are no longer trying to obtain money from persons, creditors, or other resources?
7. Thankfully, do you now experience restful sleep, fewer feelings of guilt, and increasingly, fewer arguments?
8. Do you give thanks that every time you now pay a debt, you know that you are making progress in lowering a staggering amount of debts.
9. Are you relieved and thankful that triggers to gamble do not automatically control your actions?
10. Do you feel thankful for new hobbies, interests, and friends made since gambling does not preoccupy your time?
**** Do you tell yourself THANK YOU! for not following through with self-destruction?
**** Do you tell yourself THANK YOU! for saying YES to RECOVERY?
HAPPY AND BLESSED THANKSGIVING!!!
For more information on problem gambling recovery issues, go to www.grmumc.org
Rev. Janet Jacobs
Director, Gambling Recovery Ministries
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Post 20
PTSD and Addictions
Recently, I have attended three professional continuing education events wherein topics of trauma, as correlated to addiction, have been presented. Indeed, there is no rocket science required with this connection and understanding. Basically, the deeper the trauma, the deeper the impact. Then too, the longer (and more consistently experienced) the trauma, the more likely the person may experience post stress. Naturally, individuals vary in their responses to traumatic events in their lives. Again, the nature and duration of the trauma, the age and environment of the victim, and the setting of the event(s) are important considerations as to the effects of stress endured.
What is experienced that is injurious – physically, psychologically, and/or spiritually - carries an impact that may be consciously perceived right away as well as later. Sometimes, it’s later, later! Sometimes, there is experienced a need to escape from the tortures of memory. Sometimes, unhealthy coping devices develop (or become even more problematic) in order to block out images, thoughts, sounds, and even smells that mentally recycle the harmful events. Compulsive and addictive behaviors may seem to relieve these post-stresses; but unfortunately, such responses only serve to re-traumatize the person. The more severe the reaction to the trauma, the more entangled the individual can become absorbed into the pain of new traumas – addiction, compulsive behaviors, unhealthy relationships, etc., utilized to relieve the old pain.
A number of gamblers presenting for treatment, who describe gambling as a way of escape, refer to a need to forget abuses - past and/or present. They escape into the world of gambling, most often, alone. All I want to do is zone out … is frequently heard by escape gamblers. As mentioned above, the pathological gambler eventually finds himself/herself and family members re-traumatized by devastation brought on by losses to income, savings, college funds, property, jobs, and business.
Still, there is good news! There is hope and help for post-traumatic stress syndrome and also, for problem gambling. Here are some important resources:
www.nci.nim.nih.gov
www.militarymentalhealth.org
www.gamblersanonymous.org
www.ncpgambling.org
www.indianasuicidepreventioncoalition.org
www.indianaproblemgambling.org
www.ipgap.indiana.edu
For more information on problem gambling, go to www.grmumc.org
Rev. Janet Jacobs
Director, Gambling Recovery Ministries
Recently, I have attended three professional continuing education events wherein topics of trauma, as correlated to addiction, have been presented. Indeed, there is no rocket science required with this connection and understanding. Basically, the deeper the trauma, the deeper the impact. Then too, the longer (and more consistently experienced) the trauma, the more likely the person may experience post stress. Naturally, individuals vary in their responses to traumatic events in their lives. Again, the nature and duration of the trauma, the age and environment of the victim, and the setting of the event(s) are important considerations as to the effects of stress endured.
What is experienced that is injurious – physically, psychologically, and/or spiritually - carries an impact that may be consciously perceived right away as well as later. Sometimes, it’s later, later! Sometimes, there is experienced a need to escape from the tortures of memory. Sometimes, unhealthy coping devices develop (or become even more problematic) in order to block out images, thoughts, sounds, and even smells that mentally recycle the harmful events. Compulsive and addictive behaviors may seem to relieve these post-stresses; but unfortunately, such responses only serve to re-traumatize the person. The more severe the reaction to the trauma, the more entangled the individual can become absorbed into the pain of new traumas – addiction, compulsive behaviors, unhealthy relationships, etc., utilized to relieve the old pain.
A number of gamblers presenting for treatment, who describe gambling as a way of escape, refer to a need to forget abuses - past and/or present. They escape into the world of gambling, most often, alone. All I want to do is zone out … is frequently heard by escape gamblers. As mentioned above, the pathological gambler eventually finds himself/herself and family members re-traumatized by devastation brought on by losses to income, savings, college funds, property, jobs, and business.
Still, there is good news! There is hope and help for post-traumatic stress syndrome and also, for problem gambling. Here are some important resources:
www.nci.nim.nih.gov
www.militarymentalhealth.org
www.gamblersanonymous.org
www.ncpgambling.org
www.indianasuicidepreventioncoalition.org
www.indianaproblemgambling.org
www.ipgap.indiana.edu
For more information on problem gambling, go to www.grmumc.org
Rev. Janet Jacobs
Director, Gambling Recovery Ministries
Friday, September 2, 2011
Post 19
Find a SUPER - SPECIAL resource on the net!
“The Gambling Culture”
www.christianethics.ws
Last winter, I received a request to participate in a writing project for a nationally distributed publication. My assignment was to review three books that focused on problem gambling. I was to write with the eye of clergy and active congregational lay persons. Particularly, I enjoyed the work because much of the material covered topics that are included within many of my presentations: teen gambling, recovery groups such as Gamblers Anonymous ( www.gamblersanonymous.org ) and Gam-Anon ( www.gam-anon.org ), spirituality, and practical aspects of dealing with relapse.
The nationwide magazine, for which I wrote the reviews, is entitled Christian Reflection and is published by The Center for Christian Ethics at Baylor University. This publication comes out quarterly and each issue focuses on a central topic. All past issues are viewable online at www.christianethics.ws along with separate, downloadable Study Guides and Lesson Plans. The listing of previous focus topics is impressive with a wide range of subject matter from contemporary issues to theological discussions.
The range of topics within the current issue diversely covers the subject of gambling , providing a wide arena for thought-provoking questions and lively discussions. Take a look at the following chapter titles:
Would a Good and Faithful Disciple Gamble? **
The Hidden Social Costs of Gambling **
State Lotteries: Gambling with the Common Good **
Investment vs. Gambling **
Other Voices (a listing of resource materials about gambling)
The Gambling Culture in Art
Congregational Ministry to Problem Gamblers **
The Harm of Predatory Gambling: If Only the Bible Said …
Problem Gambling (three book reviews)
The History of Gambling
There is even a full Worship Service along with a thumbnail sketch of a sermon to be preached. Also, the hymn “Self-sufficient!” Is the Cry includes all four verses and the music.
Of particular interest is Dr. Deborah Haskins’ chapter on Congregational Ministry to Problem Gamblers. Dr. Haskins explores responses to the topic of gambling, common to faith-based communities; and then, she invites congregations to provide outreach to problem gamblers and their families. In particular, the chapter is filled with true-life (anonymously described) examples of persons struggling with compulsive gambling. This brings the basic topic of gambling addiction into focus on a it-can-happen-to-anyone level. Great discussion material!
Moreover, Dr. Haskins’ recommends and highlights Gambling Recovery Ministries as a model program for faith communities to pattern new outreach endeavors to problem gamblers and their loved ones. She writes, “This is an excellent example of a gambling recovery ministry prioritizing outreach to individuals, faith institutions, and communities.” (Christian Reflection, The Gambling Culture, “Congregational Ministry to Problem Gamblers”, p. 71, August 2011)
Then too, Dr. Haskins challenges faith communities to take the essential first step
by training clergy and persons in lay leadership positions to recognize the signs and symptoms of gambling problems, as well as to learn effective responses to those affected by compulsive gambling. Recognizing, listening, encouraging the seeking of professional help, and then journeying with problem gamblers and their families through recovery: these constitute both holistic and supportive arms to reach out to persons often misunderstood – and missed – by congregations.
Finally, I want to recommend the Study Guides and Lesson Plans found online at www.christianethics.ws Included within each Study Guide are the following: prayer, scripture, reflection, and study questions.
The Lesson Plans contain teaching goals, instructions as to format for group study, a beginning story, prayer, scripture reading, meditation, reflection, study questions, and a departing hymn. As a former teacher, I especially appreciate the carefully laid out formats and thought-provoking contents of these Guides and Plans, written by Robert B. Kruschwitz, Director of the Center for Christian Ethics at Baylor University, and Heather Hughes, Project Coordinator for Christian Ethics.
See the chapters designed for study, starred in the above chapter listing. Again, this is free and valuable material! And all downloadable!
For more information on problem gambling recovery issues and ministry to those affected by gambling addiction, go to www.grmumc.org
Rev. Janet Jacobs
Director, Gambling Recovery Ministries
Find a SUPER - SPECIAL resource on the net!
“The Gambling Culture”
www.christianethics.ws
Last winter, I received a request to participate in a writing project for a nationally distributed publication. My assignment was to review three books that focused on problem gambling. I was to write with the eye of clergy and active congregational lay persons. Particularly, I enjoyed the work because much of the material covered topics that are included within many of my presentations: teen gambling, recovery groups such as Gamblers Anonymous ( www.gamblersanonymous.org ) and Gam-Anon ( www.gam-anon.org ), spirituality, and practical aspects of dealing with relapse.
The nationwide magazine, for which I wrote the reviews, is entitled Christian Reflection and is published by The Center for Christian Ethics at Baylor University. This publication comes out quarterly and each issue focuses on a central topic. All past issues are viewable online at www.christianethics.ws along with separate, downloadable Study Guides and Lesson Plans. The listing of previous focus topics is impressive with a wide range of subject matter from contemporary issues to theological discussions.
The range of topics within the current issue diversely covers the subject of gambling , providing a wide arena for thought-provoking questions and lively discussions. Take a look at the following chapter titles:
Would a Good and Faithful Disciple Gamble? **
The Hidden Social Costs of Gambling **
State Lotteries: Gambling with the Common Good **
Investment vs. Gambling **
Other Voices (a listing of resource materials about gambling)
The Gambling Culture in Art
Congregational Ministry to Problem Gamblers **
The Harm of Predatory Gambling: If Only the Bible Said …
Problem Gambling (three book reviews)
The History of Gambling
There is even a full Worship Service along with a thumbnail sketch of a sermon to be preached. Also, the hymn “Self-sufficient!” Is the Cry includes all four verses and the music.
Of particular interest is Dr. Deborah Haskins’ chapter on Congregational Ministry to Problem Gamblers. Dr. Haskins explores responses to the topic of gambling, common to faith-based communities; and then, she invites congregations to provide outreach to problem gamblers and their families. In particular, the chapter is filled with true-life (anonymously described) examples of persons struggling with compulsive gambling. This brings the basic topic of gambling addiction into focus on a it-can-happen-to-anyone level. Great discussion material!
Moreover, Dr. Haskins’ recommends and highlights Gambling Recovery Ministries as a model program for faith communities to pattern new outreach endeavors to problem gamblers and their loved ones. She writes, “This is an excellent example of a gambling recovery ministry prioritizing outreach to individuals, faith institutions, and communities.” (Christian Reflection, The Gambling Culture, “Congregational Ministry to Problem Gamblers”, p. 71, August 2011)
Then too, Dr. Haskins challenges faith communities to take the essential first step
by training clergy and persons in lay leadership positions to recognize the signs and symptoms of gambling problems, as well as to learn effective responses to those affected by compulsive gambling. Recognizing, listening, encouraging the seeking of professional help, and then journeying with problem gamblers and their families through recovery: these constitute both holistic and supportive arms to reach out to persons often misunderstood – and missed – by congregations.
Finally, I want to recommend the Study Guides and Lesson Plans found online at www.christianethics.ws Included within each Study Guide are the following: prayer, scripture, reflection, and study questions.
The Lesson Plans contain teaching goals, instructions as to format for group study, a beginning story, prayer, scripture reading, meditation, reflection, study questions, and a departing hymn. As a former teacher, I especially appreciate the carefully laid out formats and thought-provoking contents of these Guides and Plans, written by Robert B. Kruschwitz, Director of the Center for Christian Ethics at Baylor University, and Heather Hughes, Project Coordinator for Christian Ethics.
See the chapters designed for study, starred in the above chapter listing. Again, this is free and valuable material! And all downloadable!
For more information on problem gambling recovery issues and ministry to those affected by gambling addiction, go to www.grmumc.org
Rev. Janet Jacobs
Director, Gambling Recovery Ministries
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Post 18
TAKING A VACATION: from addiction? from co-dependency?
Armchair Thoughts on Co-dependency
For many, July has been a month of family vacations. Camping trips, visiting the relatives, sightseeing: it’s a time to get away. Right? Well, maybe. More likely, it’s away: both yes and no. And so it has been for me. July was a time for me to be at distance from my Indiana home, filled with new sights, refreshing weather (yes, I said refreshing), and a time apart from my usual schedule. My body has said I’ve been away … but has my mind? Yes and no again. In part, the I’m-away-from-home mindset was in place. Still, I must admit that concerns about loved ones prevailed from time to time.
Often, I hear persons say comments like, “I just need to let go and let God.” Not a bad concept! However, is this admonition faithfully followed? Do our concerns/worries about others keep us preoccupied with their problems – to the point of constant focus … to the extent that our lives become overshadowed by another’s dysfunctional actions?
When I first heard the term co-dependency, quite a few years ago, I could not wrap my mind around it. Somehow, I thought co-dependency had to do with two or more persons sharing the same dependent behavior. But the situations described as such never matched my faulty understanding of this condition. Slowly, I began to realize that co-dependency is more about the reactions of the loved one to the addict than that of the addict’s dependent responses to substances and/or compulsive behaviors. And then, there’s, also, something to be said about the addict’s reactions to the loved ones’ reactions!
In other words, the loved one becomes dependent on certain responses that (s)he has acquired in his/her dealing with an individual suffering from addiction or compulsive dysfunctions. Often, it is heard that a codependent feels like life has become a journey of walking on eggshells. How will my loved one react? is a prevailing thought forever holding the non-addict in jeopardy. Will I set her off? Should I stay at home – just in case? What am I doing to cause him to drink, stay on drugs, or gamble away our household budget?
At a problem gambling conference, several years ago, I heard a presentation that has never been forgotten. In speaking about why a spouse of a gambler chose to attend the event on Super-Bowl weekend, the person told about the need to learn more about dealing with personal, healthy responses to the gambler’s behavior. Although the conference was at considerable distance from home – and filled the entire weekend – the speaker had replaced fear of what the gambler would be doing during that heavy-betting time with the priority of building personal growth.
For more information on co-dependency, check out Co-Dependents Anonymous at www.coda.org/
In addition, go to http://www.gam-anon.org// for a listing of 20 Questions to be asked of the gambler’s loved one(s).
For even more information on problem gambling, go to http://www.grmumc.org/
Rev. Janet Jacobs
Director, Gambling Recovery Ministries
Armchair Thoughts on Co-dependency
For many, July has been a month of family vacations. Camping trips, visiting the relatives, sightseeing: it’s a time to get away. Right? Well, maybe. More likely, it’s away: both yes and no. And so it has been for me. July was a time for me to be at distance from my Indiana home, filled with new sights, refreshing weather (yes, I said refreshing), and a time apart from my usual schedule. My body has said I’ve been away … but has my mind? Yes and no again. In part, the I’m-away-from-home mindset was in place. Still, I must admit that concerns about loved ones prevailed from time to time.
Often, I hear persons say comments like, “I just need to let go and let God.” Not a bad concept! However, is this admonition faithfully followed? Do our concerns/worries about others keep us preoccupied with their problems – to the point of constant focus … to the extent that our lives become overshadowed by another’s dysfunctional actions?
When I first heard the term co-dependency, quite a few years ago, I could not wrap my mind around it. Somehow, I thought co-dependency had to do with two or more persons sharing the same dependent behavior. But the situations described as such never matched my faulty understanding of this condition. Slowly, I began to realize that co-dependency is more about the reactions of the loved one to the addict than that of the addict’s dependent responses to substances and/or compulsive behaviors. And then, there’s, also, something to be said about the addict’s reactions to the loved ones’ reactions!
In other words, the loved one becomes dependent on certain responses that (s)he has acquired in his/her dealing with an individual suffering from addiction or compulsive dysfunctions. Often, it is heard that a codependent feels like life has become a journey of walking on eggshells. How will my loved one react? is a prevailing thought forever holding the non-addict in jeopardy. Will I set her off? Should I stay at home – just in case? What am I doing to cause him to drink, stay on drugs, or gamble away our household budget?
At a problem gambling conference, several years ago, I heard a presentation that has never been forgotten. In speaking about why a spouse of a gambler chose to attend the event on Super-Bowl weekend, the person told about the need to learn more about dealing with personal, healthy responses to the gambler’s behavior. Although the conference was at considerable distance from home – and filled the entire weekend – the speaker had replaced fear of what the gambler would be doing during that heavy-betting time with the priority of building personal growth.
For more information on co-dependency, check out Co-Dependents Anonymous at www.coda.org/
In addition, go to http://www.gam-anon.org// for a listing of 20 Questions to be asked of the gambler’s loved one(s).
For even more information on problem gambling, go to http://www.grmumc.org/
Rev. Janet Jacobs
Director, Gambling Recovery Ministries
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Post 17
FREEDOM!
What does this word mean to you? Often, we talk about celebrating freedom but does the average American citizen experience the celebrating aspect of freedom? Actually, the focus of this entry takes another look at freedom: this time with the recovery-eye view. And celebrating is truly heart-felt!
Many of my friends in recovery talk about freedom as the opposite of oppression. Their new lives, sans the active throws of addiction, no longer experience the domination of fear, explosive anger, deceit, remorse, shame, and/or blame. Preoccupation with having to gamble, ordering their days around the time of mail delivery, or creating alibis for absences at important events: all gone now ... and what a relief!
Indeed, what kinds of oppression does a compulsive gambler experience, in addition to the obvious pressure to obtain more and more money with which to gamble? Interestingly, the Twenty Questions, included within the Gamblers Anonymous Yellow Combo Book, reveal many different forms of oppression in the lives of problem and pathological gamblers.
Take a look at the below questions and see how each could keep an individual held in a personal prison of oppression.
NOTE!
According to GA literature, most compulsive gamblers will answer yes to at least seven of these questions.
Recovering compulsive gamblers in Gamblers Anonymous testify to new found freedom ... freedom to think clearly, to enjoy friendship and encouragement, to speak the truth without fear, to care for others and to care for themselves, and to grow spiritually.
For more information on Gamblers Anonymous go to http://www.gamblersanonymous.org/
Also, check out http://www.gam-anon.org/ for Gam-Anon, the support organization for loved ones of problem gamblers.
For more information on problem gambling and recovery issues, go to http://www.grmumc.org/
Rev. Janet Jacobs
Director, Gambling Recovery Ministries
FREEDOM!
What does this word mean to you? Often, we talk about celebrating freedom but does the average American citizen experience the celebrating aspect of freedom? Actually, the focus of this entry takes another look at freedom: this time with the recovery-eye view. And celebrating is truly heart-felt!
Many of my friends in recovery talk about freedom as the opposite of oppression. Their new lives, sans the active throws of addiction, no longer experience the domination of fear, explosive anger, deceit, remorse, shame, and/or blame. Preoccupation with having to gamble, ordering their days around the time of mail delivery, or creating alibis for absences at important events: all gone now ... and what a relief!
Indeed, what kinds of oppression does a compulsive gambler experience, in addition to the obvious pressure to obtain more and more money with which to gamble? Interestingly, the Twenty Questions, included within the Gamblers Anonymous Yellow Combo Book, reveal many different forms of oppression in the lives of problem and pathological gamblers.
Take a look at the below questions and see how each could keep an individual held in a personal prison of oppression.
- Did you ever lose time from work or school due to gambling?
- Has gambling ever made your home life unhappy?
- Did gambling affect your reputation?
- Have you ever felt remorse after gambling?
- Did you ever gamble to get money with which to pay debts or otherwise solve financial difficulties?
- Did gambling cause a decrease in your ambition or efficiency?
- After losing did you feel you must return as soon as possible and win back your losses?
- After a win did you have a strong urge to return and win more?
- Did you often gamble until your last dollar was gone?
- Did you ever borrow to finance your gambling?
- Have you ever sold anything to finance gambling?
- Were you reluctant to use "gambling money" for normal expenditures?
- Did gambling make you careless of the welfare of yourself or your family?
- Did you ever gamble longer than you had planned?
- Have you ever gambled to escape worry, trouble, boredom or loneliness?
- Have you ever committed, or considered committing, an illegal act to finance gambling?
- Did gambling cause you to have difficulty in sleeping?
- Do arguments, disappointments or frustrations create within you an urge to gamble?
- Did you ever have an urge to celebrate any good fortune by a few hours of gambling?
- Have you ever considered self destruction or suicide as a result of your gambling?
NOTE!
According to GA literature, most compulsive gamblers will answer yes to at least seven of these questions.
Recovering compulsive gamblers in Gamblers Anonymous testify to new found freedom ... freedom to think clearly, to enjoy friendship and encouragement, to speak the truth without fear, to care for others and to care for themselves, and to grow spiritually.
For more information on Gamblers Anonymous go to http://www.gamblersanonymous.org/
Also, check out http://www.gam-anon.org/ for Gam-Anon, the support organization for loved ones of problem gamblers.
For more information on problem gambling and recovery issues, go to http://www.grmumc.org/
Rev. Janet Jacobs
Director, Gambling Recovery Ministries
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Post 16
Moral and Financial Inventories
Last month, I wrote about how Twelve Step Recovery programs can provide a steady focus on living each day in progression toward recovery. I observed: every Step builds upon the previous one, with an eye to the upcoming new Step. Then too, I wrote how each Step involves questions to be grasped, grappled with, [and] mulled over.
As with the April Post, I have included several questions to be pondered while one particularly works on certain Steps. This month, we will take a look at the Inventory types of Steps within the Twelve Steps Recovery Program; and following last month's format, I have more of those questions!
Step 4
[We] Made a searching and fearless moral and financial inventory of ourselves.
Why is it important to my recovery process to include a "moral" inventory?
How do the "moral" and "financial" aspects of my life overlap?
Write two columns on a piece of paper - one headed "Moral" and the other headed "Financial"; and see how many entries dovetail into each other.
What might you hesitate (fear) to include under both columns?
Be sure to include BOTH your plusses and your negatives ... in other words, your assets (remember your MORAL ASSETS too!) and your limitations/challenges.
When finished with your inventories, reflect on the saying: The truth will set you free. Will you be ready to share these truths, expressed in your columns, with another person as you work on the next Step (Step 5: We admitted to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs)?
Step 10
[We] Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
Continuing inventories can be done informally on a constant level as well as worked through on a more formal, periodic basis. How might a person consistently keep vigilant - throughout each day - of one's moral and financial self ?
Perhaps, the financial tracking may be easier than the moral-lookout. Keeping watch over one's actions, thoughts, and words could be a beneficial recovery-task at bedtime. What brief questions would you ask yourself each night with regard to this Step?
Would it be helpful to ask the following questions daily: What hurt might I have brought to persons today? Why might I have done this? How can this affect my recovery process?
Doing a more formal moral and financial inventory can be done periodically - perhaps monthly or quarterly. Given my work schedule and other obligations, how can this type of activity be done most beneficially to my working the Steps. Is there a place or time that I am better able to reflect and study the work I am doing on my Recovery Step Program?
As I wrote in April ... Take one question at a time; focus deliberately; search and find ...
For more information on problem gambling and recovery issues, go to http://www.grmumc.org/
Rev. Janet Jacobs
Director, Gambling Recovery Ministries
Last month, I wrote about how Twelve Step Recovery programs can provide a steady focus on living each day in progression toward recovery. I observed: every Step builds upon the previous one, with an eye to the upcoming new Step. Then too, I wrote how each Step involves questions to be grasped, grappled with, [and] mulled over.
As with the April Post, I have included several questions to be pondered while one particularly works on certain Steps. This month, we will take a look at the Inventory types of Steps within the Twelve Steps Recovery Program; and following last month's format, I have more of those questions!
Step 4
[We] Made a searching and fearless moral and financial inventory of ourselves.
Why is it important to my recovery process to include a "moral" inventory?
How do the "moral" and "financial" aspects of my life overlap?
Write two columns on a piece of paper - one headed "Moral" and the other headed "Financial"; and see how many entries dovetail into each other.
What might you hesitate (fear) to include under both columns?
Be sure to include BOTH your plusses and your negatives ... in other words, your assets (remember your MORAL ASSETS too!) and your limitations/challenges.
When finished with your inventories, reflect on the saying: The truth will set you free. Will you be ready to share these truths, expressed in your columns, with another person as you work on the next Step (Step 5: We admitted to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs)?
Step 10
[We] Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
Continuing inventories can be done informally on a constant level as well as worked through on a more formal, periodic basis. How might a person consistently keep vigilant - throughout each day - of one's moral and financial self ?
Perhaps, the financial tracking may be easier than the moral-lookout. Keeping watch over one's actions, thoughts, and words could be a beneficial recovery-task at bedtime. What brief questions would you ask yourself each night with regard to this Step?
Would it be helpful to ask the following questions daily: What hurt might I have brought to persons today? Why might I have done this? How can this affect my recovery process?
Doing a more formal moral and financial inventory can be done periodically - perhaps monthly or quarterly. Given my work schedule and other obligations, how can this type of activity be done most beneficially to my working the Steps. Is there a place or time that I am better able to reflect and study the work I am doing on my Recovery Step Program?
As I wrote in April ... Take one question at a time; focus deliberately; search and find ...
RECOVERY IS POSSIBLE and WORTH THE WORK!!
For more information on problem gambling and recovery issues, go to http://www.grmumc.org/
Rev. Janet Jacobs
Director, Gambling Recovery Ministries
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Post 15
Powerlessness? ... Searching and Fearless? ... Entirely Ready?
This is Holy Week ... the week during which persons of the Christian faith recall and meditate upon Jesus' last few days prior to His crucifixion. This coming Sunday, Christians will celebrate Jesus' Resurrection from the dead with the Easter message. However, this week holds the believers' attention with the marking of each day's time before Jesus' earthly death. Every 24 hour period carried its own weight as the events continued to build to the ultimate closure of His mission to be accomplished on earth.
One day at a time: I would think that those words, certainly, may have been in Jesus' thoughts during that time. Two thousand plus years later, we hear that expression, steadily, from persons in recovery. Indeed, there is real wisdom to the focus of today. Yesterday's lessons (not regrets) are important and tomorrow's plans (not worries) are necessary; but we actually do live only one day at a time!
Twelve Step Recovery programs, likewise, provide a steady focus on living each day in a progression of/toward recovery. Every Step build upon the previous one, with an eye to the upcoming new Step. And each Step carries a weight of questions to be grasped, grappled with, mulled over, and answered by the person who truly strives toward wellness.
I have included several questions to be pondered with certain selected Steps during Part 1 of this Mini-Series on the Twelve Steps to Recovery.
Give an example of an event that has happened to illustrate that your life
is/was unmanageable. Again, be specific.
Step 2: [We] came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to a
normal way of thinking and living.Where are you in relation to your acceptance of a Higher Power?
Give an example of an event that demonstrated irrational behavior.
Step 3: [We] made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of this Power
of our own understanding.What are the main areas of your life that need to be turned over to God?
Explain.
OH, THOSE QUESTIONS!! (A Mini-Series on the Twelve Steps to Recovery)
This is Holy Week ... the week during which persons of the Christian faith recall and meditate upon Jesus' last few days prior to His crucifixion. This coming Sunday, Christians will celebrate Jesus' Resurrection from the dead with the Easter message. However, this week holds the believers' attention with the marking of each day's time before Jesus' earthly death. Every 24 hour period carried its own weight as the events continued to build to the ultimate closure of His mission to be accomplished on earth.
Twelve Step Recovery programs, likewise, provide a steady focus on living each day in a progression of/toward recovery. Every Step build upon the previous one, with an eye to the upcoming new Step. And each Step carries a weight of questions to be grasped, grappled with, mulled over, and answered by the person who truly strives toward wellness.
I have included several questions to be pondered with certain selected Steps during Part 1 of this Mini-Series on the Twelve Steps to Recovery.
Step 1: We admitted we were powerless over gambling - that our lives had become
unmanageable.Think of an example of your own powerlessness. Be specific.Give an example of an event that has happened to illustrate that your life
is/was unmanageable. Again, be specific.
Step 2: [We] came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to a
normal way of thinking and living.Where are you in relation to your acceptance of a Higher Power?
Give an example of an event that demonstrated irrational behavior.
Step 3: [We] made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of this Power
of our own understanding.What are the main areas of your life that need to be turned over to God?
Explain.
Take one question at a time; focus deliberately; search and find ...
RECOVERY IS POSSIBLE and WORTH THE WORK!!
Next month, we'll examine our moral and financial inventories ...
one step at a time!
For more information on problem gambling and recovery issues, go to http://www.grmumc.org/
Rev. Janet Jacobs
Director, Gambling Recovery Ministries
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Post 14
Relapse: A Realistic Look
Relapse = an opportunity to work harder.
Any change is possible IF one puts their heart into it.
An interesting article from Focus, the Florida Council on Compulsive Gambling newsletter, discusses relapse in the context of recovery. It caught my eye because I had recently spoken with a person about the potential of relapse. He had been successfully abstaining from a certain dysfunctional coping behavior over the past few months. Then, out of the clear blue one day, he said to me, "Janet, now, don't be disappointed if sometime, now or in the coming months, I slip and have a relapse by ...."
We then moved into a conversation about what, truly, is relapse. I asked, "Do you see relapsing as committing a planned action ... and then, getting back on the wagon, as an entire event of (planned) relapse?" OR I asked again, "Do you understand relapse as an unplanned break from sobriety and then, a deliberate move back to abstinence and return to your program of recovery?" In other words, one event is planned up front (i.e., a planned break) and the other is an unplanned break with a purposeful return to recovery work.
Needless to say, our conversation continued and clarity on the topic of relapse was achieved.
Bulleted below are key thoughts to keep in mind about relapse and recovery:
- triggers to relapse can take the form of just about anything: persons (actions, words, facial expressions), places, things, even smells, etc.
- if relapse occurs, it should serve as an opportunity to work harder on one's recovery program
- relapse provides a reason to figure out what did NOT work
- relapse is a sure signal to renew commitment to change and purposeful recovery work
- episodes of relapse should not hinder efforts for family members to maintain control of their own lives
- recovery requires long-term change
- having recovery plans in place - with continued practice - serves as an antidote to relapse
- recovery = thinking about one's life differently!
Relapse certainly may occur - and be part of the process of recovery. The essential piece to remember is that process indicates and calls for ongoing movement toward and within recovery!
For more information on problem gambling and recovery issues, visit http://www.grmumc.org/
Rev. Janet Jacobs
Director, Gambling Recovery Ministries
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Post 13
Sports Betting - Who Me?
As the days of February fly by, I start looking toward March and basketball's approaching mini-season of March Madness. There's the built-in excitement of games between big rivals - and at the same time, there's the hope that a nationally unknown team will sneak in a totally, unpredicted victory over sure-winning stars. It's kind of like a countrywide version of the old-time Indiana end-of-season basketball tourneys, wherein every high school started the State finals on equal footing. With March Madness, it could be Hoosiers all over again!
And so, with such tournaments, is there excitement with unknown outcomes? Yes, indeed. Are there risks that odds are beat and unexpected upsets arise? Yes, again. Win/loss charts are kept and it's fun to track the teams' trails to victory. Still, temptation to bet on the games runs high during this heightened time of basketball awareness.
Once again, there's the reminder: sports betting is illegal! For team members, sports wagering can be disastrous. Academic and professional careers are placed, seriously, at risk if any athlete involves himself/herself in betting.
Moreover, there is the danger that betting on sports can become compulsive. An addiction can develop. Below are the warning signs for which to watch.
As the days of February fly by, I start looking toward March and basketball's approaching mini-season of March Madness. There's the built-in excitement of games between big rivals - and at the same time, there's the hope that a nationally unknown team will sneak in a totally, unpredicted victory over sure-winning stars. It's kind of like a countrywide version of the old-time Indiana end-of-season basketball tourneys, wherein every high school started the State finals on equal footing. With March Madness, it could be Hoosiers all over again!
And so, with such tournaments, is there excitement with unknown outcomes? Yes, indeed. Are there risks that odds are beat and unexpected upsets arise? Yes, again. Win/loss charts are kept and it's fun to track the teams' trails to victory. Still, temptation to bet on the games runs high during this heightened time of basketball awareness.
Once again, there's the reminder: sports betting is illegal! For team members, sports wagering can be disastrous. Academic and professional careers are placed, seriously, at risk if any athlete involves himself/herself in betting.
Moreover, there is the danger that betting on sports can become compulsive. An addiction can develop. Below are the warning signs for which to watch.
Signs of a Compulsive Sports Gambler
- excessive telephone bills to 900-number services
- obsession with point spreads
- unusual interest in obscure games
- association with other sports bettors
- shifting allegiances: for/against same team on different days
- frequently hitting up friends or family for loans
- extremely defensive when questioned about gambling behavior
- debts, unpaid bills, financial troubles
- going to others to get bailed out of desperate financial situations
- after losing, eager to bet again to get even or ahead
(Source: "Don't Bet on It"; National Endowment for Financial Education and the National Collegiate Association, 1999)
If you or someone you know has one or more of the above characteristics, get help. The National Council on Problem Gambling National Helpline Number is 1-800-522-4700. Call for help!
So enjoy the games. Enjoy the excitement. Have fun with predections. AND - don't bet!
For more information on problem gambling and recovery issues, go to http://www.grmumc.org/
Rev. Janet Jacobs
Director, Gambling Recovery Ministries
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Post 12
Sports Betting - NOT!
This week an unusual high school basketball game took place. Though the mega-favored team did win, their victory was managed only after three overtime periods and eventually countering the opposing team's relentless stalling strategy. Statistically unexpected, the final 38-31 score exhibited the losing team's possession drills that predominated their floor play.
We are in the midst of basketball season now. And every year, unusual stories surface about unexpected wins, unfortunate injuries, or illegal betting occurences. Although it may seem unnecessary to post reminders about the don'ts with regard to sports wagering by athletes, temptations do arise and very unfortunate consequences, sometimes, take place.
Whether an athlete (on any official team) is connected with high school, college, or professional sports, the no wagering policy holds. This means ...
This week an unusual high school basketball game took place. Though the mega-favored team did win, their victory was managed only after three overtime periods and eventually countering the opposing team's relentless stalling strategy. Statistically unexpected, the final 38-31 score exhibited the losing team's possession drills that predominated their floor play.
We are in the midst of basketball season now. And every year, unusual stories surface about unexpected wins, unfortunate injuries, or illegal betting occurences. Although it may seem unnecessary to post reminders about the don'ts with regard to sports wagering by athletes, temptations do arise and very unfortunate consequences, sometimes, take place.
Whether an athlete (on any official team) is connected with high school, college, or professional sports, the no wagering policy holds. This means ...
- NO bets on ANY official team sports events
- NO sports pools: NONE!
- NO internet gambling on sports
- NO information sharing about your team to ANYONE who gambles: NOTHING! (including physical condition of players, team spirit, coaching and/or discipline issues, etc.)
- sports career can end - at any level
- expulsion from school: academic career can be severely jeopardized
- personal humiliation
- family humiliation
- team humiliation
- financial ruin
- present and future employment status at risk
- incarceration ... future employment at risk (again)
- emotional turmoil and possible development of compulsive gambling problems
Enjoy the basketball season; don't bet; and stay safe!
For more information on problem gambling and recovery issues, go to http://www.grmumc.org/
Rev. Janet Jacobs
Director, Gambling Recovery Ministries
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)