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RELAPSE:
What Are the Roots? (Part 2 of Relapse Series)
In July, I had the privilege of conducting a workshop on
the topic of Relapse to members of
the recovering community. The
presentation was entitled “Rooting Out Relapse: It’s an Equal Opportunity” … equal opportunity since both recovering
dependents and codependents were in
the audience. The invitation was for me
to address those recovering from addiction as well as their family members and
friends.
Commonly held is the notion that relapse occurs only to
persons who have “fallen off the wagon” of sobriety. At the same time, there is sound truth
undergirding the call for loved ones to work on their own recoveries – that is,
recovery from actions and attitudes that encourage and build on their own dependent responses to the addict’s behaviors. How then do I speak to both sides?
To be sure, the hour was one filled with fascinating engagement by the
attendees. From the very first
participation-question, it was obvious that this group knew the topic well – both sides! To the invitation to define “relapse”, the
audience was off and running … and was I surprised! Instead of Webster definitions (which I had
anticipated), responses came describing personal situations that would
encourage or provoke relapse: the classic HALT
conditions (hungry, angry, lonely, tired), boredom and not enough constructive
leisure activities, dropping out of support meetings and/or therapy sessions,
and even holidays and vacations. Surrounding
each “definition” were many, many related individual situations. The participants were already in the midst of
the essential recognition of when relapse begins!
As
one description of the beginning phase of relapse has it: the earliest stage of relapse occurs when those personal weakening
circumstances begin to enter back into the life of the individual going
through recovery. In other words, relapse
can begin when the recovery work starts to bog down … when the
strengthening, therapeutic (and healthy) strongholds begin to be ignored, minimized,
or neglected. And here is where it gets
interesting: the individual is not even
thinking about THE behavior (the
addictive or codependent behavior), at this point. There are no active triggers/urges being
recognized or felt ...yet. Instead, what is significant here is that there is a change in the recovery-lifestyle
… and those personal conditions are
starting to set up the slippery slope(s) which, in turn, could soon usher
the individual back into a life of using/ abuse/ addiction/ codependency.
Once
the recovery-lifestyle begins to slip, that’s when the slippery slope starts to form.
Something viewed, heard, or smelled nudges a thought … one that would have been responded to in a recovery-minded manner. This time, however, the individual
circumstances – and subsequently, the lessoning of the recovery reins – present
memories of bygone times when the old, dysfunctional behavior was firmly in
place. Old friends associated with the former life may
make re-entry … and more memories come.
Or a person opens the door (once again) to fear, fault-finding, and waning
self-confidence … and the slope’s ride races toward ever-present suspicion and preoccupation
of worries.
Taking
a step toward that slope, the thoughts gather – and cluster with more
thoughts. The person becomes increasingly
vulnerable, particularly since the recovery-defenses have been loosening, or
worse, crumbling. Though the actions may
not have occurred, yet, it is most
likely, now, that the mind has relapsed (or is on the verge of relapsing).
Then
the opportunity comes. The mind is
willing and the rest of the body responds.
The recovery-guards are off-duty:
relapse! How could this “suddenly”
happen? And still, as described above,
the process
of relapse had already developed.
The action was a response to what had been occurring – especially when the recovery-life was not
firmly in place.
The
workshop attendees had it right: “relapse” as they defined it, has its
beginning when recovery work lags and those personal, individual weaknesses
gain in their self-defeating efforts ... so much so that the return to a condition of illness aptly describes the full spectrum
of relapse – right from the start!
Blessings,
Rev.
Janet Jacobs
Founding
Director
Gambling
Recovery Ministries
For
more information on problem gambling and the process of recovery, go to Gamblers Anonymous at www.gamblersanonymous.org
and Gam-Anon at www.gam-anon.org
Visit: a resource for
women gamblers, www.femalegamblers.info
Other helpful resources:
