Post 65

GIFT RESPONSIBLY!

Earlier this month, at the American Board's Clergy/Lay Ministers Certification Training in New Jersey, our presenter of clinical curriculum spoke about "gifting responsibly" ... that is, being mindful of the age-appropriateness factor when giving presents to children.  He shared that as a child on family vacations, he and his brother would each be given money for a roll of arcade tickets - to last for the week.  However, by the first day's closing, he  - unlike his brother - would have spent all of his money!  The rush, the thrill, the excitement of winning (or almost winning) was far too tempting to keep on spending rather than to parcel out tickets for each day.  

This month of December finds many folks spending and spending.  It seems the "season of gift-giving" can occupy the mind - and wallet!  Finances stretched; time spent shopping (and fighting traffic); angst over how much to give whom ... YES, definitely, we can make a point on each topic concerning how we approach and carry out gifting others.  And they all have a great deal to say about healthy perspectives and responses.  Yet there's another angle to gifting responsibly when it comes to problem gambling and recovery issues. 

Sometimes, adults gift children in ways they would enjoy receiving.  The present might be something they had hoped for as a child or now as an adult.  Yes, you guessed it, how about lottery tickets or scratch-offs.  Of course, the child cannot cash in a winning ticket - but the grown-up can.  Unfortunately, often these thoughts do not go beyond that point.  However, it's a serious argument to say that giving such opportunities to minors to gamble can set in motion hopes, aspirations, and/or feelings of excitement to a mind not ready to understand the reality of gambling as only a chance (not a certainty) for winning.   

Therefore, December's GRM Blog carries a Press Release from the National Council on Problem Gambling.  Below are the first three paragraphs of the article.  For the full report, go to www.problemgambling.com  It is a timely reminder for us to give responsibly!

STUFF STOCKINGS RESPONSIBLY

If you give a lottery product as a gift, please make sure you keep the person's age in mind.  Studies suggest that gambling remains a popular activity among youth and adolescents who receive lottery tickets as gifts tend to begin gambling earlier in life - a possible risk factor for more severe gambling problems.  Researchers have also reported a correlation between age of gambling onset and problem gambling.

This information, along with the concern about adolescent problem gambling, has prompted the National Council on problem Gambling (NCPG) and the International Centre for Youth Gambling Problems and High-Risk Behaviors at McGill University as well as dozens of lottery corporations around the globe to collaborate in the annual Holiday Campaign aimed at increasing public awareness about the impact of gifting lottery products to underage minors.

NCPG Executive Director Keith Whyte explained that it's vital to raise awareness because research has shown that some problem gamblers report beginning gambling during childhood - as early as 9-10 years of age.  "The Holiday Campaign is a way to remind people that they can keep the fun in the holidays by gifting lottery tickets responsibly to adults."

UPDATE ON CLERGY/LAY MINISTERS CERTIFICATION TRAININGS

In collaboration with the Kentucky Council on Problem Gambling, initial Training Sessions for the  Clergy/Lay Ministers Certification (sponsored by the  American Compulsive Gambling Counselor Certification Board) will take place before and during the Kentucky Council's 16th Annual Problem Gambling Educational and Awareness Conference on January 29-30, 2015.  The Conference will be held at the Clarion Hotel in Lexington, KY  (I-64/75 at Newtown Pike, Lexington).  These sessions will compose the beginning segment of the required curriculum for national certification.

Clergy/Lay Ministers Certification Sessions will begin on Thursday, January 29 at 9:00 AM at the Clarion.  The Conference begins, also, on Thursday  ... at 1:00 and continues until Friday at 5:00 PM. 

Registration details for the Conference can be found on the Kentucky Council's website at
www.kycpg.org

Hotel room group rate deadline is January 8.  Make room reservations to jgunsten@clarionhotellex.com 

50 Scholarships are available for the $100 registration fee and one night's lodging. Apply to kmstone@mis.net   Application for scholarship application is January 5.  

ALSO, if you are planning to attend the Clergy/Lay Ministers training sessions (beginning Thursday morning), PLEASE INDICATE THIS ON YOUR KENTUCKY CONFERENCE REGISTRATION.

For information on the Lexington GA/Gam-Anon Mini-Conference on January 30-February 1 at the Clarion Hotel in Lexington, visit www.gamblersanonymous.org  

I hope to see many of you next month in Lexington!

Blessings,

Rev. Janet Jacobs
Founding Director
Gambling Recovery Ministries


For more information on problem gambling and recovery issues, go to www.grmumc.org


 




  

Post 64

Clergy/Lay Ministers Certification Trainings:
Off and Running ... with More to Come!

Training is now in place - and going on - for the brand-new Clergy/Lay Ministers Certification in Gambling Addiction Prevention, Education, Awareness, and Spiritual Outreach Care!  This national Certification is a pioneering project of the American Compulsive Gambling Counselor Certification Board that specifically addresses the role of clergy and lay ministers, within faith-based settings, to provide the most effective first responder care to individuals impacted by problem gambling.

The American Board's vision for this program is nationwide in scope!  Imagine:  trained and certified faith leaders - of all faiths - who are bridging the gaps between those seeking help and treatment resources and support groups.  It's a huge vision ... but one that's not too large for the oldest national certifying gambling counselor certification board in the country!

The initial pilot training program is currently underway in New Jersey.  Modules 1 and 2 have already taken place and the final training Modules 3 and 4 are scheduled for December 2 and 3. The classes take place at St. James Church, 115 E. Delaware Ave., Pennington, NJ (in Trenton Area) from 8:45 AM - 4:00 PM. 

It is not too late to register for Modules 3 and 4!  Each Module is self-contained; and additional re-runs of these trainings will be scheduled in the future.  Contact the American Board for registration information at (609) 588-9338.

Furthermore, plans are in the making for the Trainings to come to Kentucky - in January!  In collaboration with the Kentucky Council on Problem Gambling, initial segments of the Clergy/Lay Ministers trainings will be scheduled during the Kentucky Council's Annual Education Conference in Lexington (Clarion Hotel) on January 29-30.  More information will be forthcoming so check GRM's December and January Blog Postings!  Also, contact the Kentucky Council's Director Mike Stone at (502) 223-1823 for details on the January Conference.

Then too, the Gamblers Anonymous/Gam-Anon Lexington Mini Conference will take place at the Clarion on January 31-February 1. This is an "Open" event, filled with information on recovery from compulsive gambling; and the welcome mat is extended to all!  The phone number for the Lexington GA Help Line is (855) 222-5542.

Join with me, please, in thanksgiving for this special clergy/lay ministers certification program ... for its expanding outreach, and the real difference trained and certified, faith-based first responders can make!

Blessings,

Rev. Janet Jacobs
Founding Director
Gambling Recovery Ministries

For more information on problem gambling and recovery issues, go to www.grmumc.org



             

Post 63

FEAR: Is It Sealing Your Fate?

Here in Midwest USA, we are enjoying the height of autumn: brilliant colors of red, orange, and golden foliage, apple orchards ripe for the picking, cool - yet sunny - crisp days, and fresh pumpkin pies.  The Halloween holiday is fast approaching and little trick-or-treaters dressed in costume will be ringing doorbells with their sacks opened wide for more candy.  It was a favorite holiday for me during elementary school days.  My identity masked, I could sit anywhere in the classroom and celebrate (for a short time) being someone - or something - else.  Rarely though, were my classmates fooled as my height usually gave me away. 

 Most of the spookiness attached to Halloween was in fun and not scary at all.  However, there was a notable exception.  During my freshman year in college, several very creative members of my young adult ministry organization decided to conduct a haunted house tour of their own.  It was just for us - not a public event ... and the only one I knew of in the Toledo area.  Driving past the outskirts of town and down a lonely country road was creepy enough ...  but when we came upon a solitary figure garbed in full-length shepherd’s robe and shadowed face, the fright began.  We knew better to be truly scared – however, the newness of our adventure and the anticipation of unknown happenings stretching before us did give us more than a taste of fear.  We weren’t sure we really wanted to step into this unmet-before arena!        

As I revisit that haunted house experience, I must admit – yes - that even though I knew no harm would take place, there were actual moments of surprising fright.  Then too, there was, indeed, a fear of the unknown as the tour continued.

Likewise, in our journeys of recovery (all kinds), the future – without the companionship of active addiction and/or reliance upon old, familiar coping behaviors – can be seen as a frightening place to enter.

So what are we talking about?  Fear?  Yes.  Courage?  Again, yes.  Actually, it’s about facing one’s fear of re-entry, so to speak, as a recovering person – solely armed with brand new skills and lessons from therapy and/or 12 Step group support.  BUT … why then, the fear? (And it can be sensed as real fear too.)  Once more, and sadly, the terror of facing life without the old companions (addictive/self-abuse responses) can hold back progress in recovery.   

Basically, the flip side of fear is courage … the stepping ahead, the moving forward, the no-turning-back.  In his book, Three Steps to Integrity, the Reverend Dr. Bill Jenkins details an entire section on courage.  In response to the five common fears listed below, I am including supporting thoughts (italicized) shared by Dr. Jenkins, as well as other practical suggestions. 

Five Common Fears in Facing New Life in Recovery

(1)   What will I do to fill my time when I am no longer ________?  I’ll need to find new interests but I don’t know where to begin.  If I have too much free (empty) time, I’ll get bored – and that’s a sure ticket to _____________.  What if I try new hobbies and don’t like them?  What if they’re too expensive?  What if there’s nothing to do, etc., etc.?

Short term goals are often stepping stones, or intermediate steps, toward achieving a long term goal. (WLJ)

Fill spare time with multiple and accomplishable tasks and activities.  Eventually, you will achieve a balance of things to do and enjoy, in your spare time.        

(2)  What if I fail?  Feeling failure will just sink me deeper into my depression.  Then I’ll seek comfort by _________ and then I’ll feel more like a failure.

Courage includes perseverance, continuing to seek a goal in the midst of opposition, obstacles, discouragement and even failure. (WLJ)

If you experience a slip, get back on the one-day-at-a-time wagon.  Return to the ways of recovery (again, take each day as it comes)  – attending support meetings, checking back with the counselor, reading recovery material, and counting on your Higher Power for help.

(3)  I’ll lose my identity … I actually like to/find pleasure in  _____________.  My self –image is that of a ____________; and I can escape to this other “life” and be “myself”.

Plato placed an emphasis on being rather than just doing.  Morality stems from your character identity, rather than being a reflection of the actions alone.  (WLJ)

This is a toughie.  How intertwined we can be with an image we have come to adopt – actions and all.  Has this identity associated with __________  given you a perceived sense of  strength and valor …  helped you to lose shyness and be social and, perhaps, feel glamorous … OR simply enabled you to claim a personal identity when there seemed to be none?

Untangling one’s self from the ___________ identity, in reality, opens the door to hard and consistent recovery work … but it’s worth it!  Find others successfully  in recovery; learn from them; notice how they value themselves AND how they value you for yourself ! 

(4)  I’ll lose my friends … how can I find new ones?

Counselors know from experience that many people are unhappy because they expect their spouse, children, or employer to “make them happy”.  No person or thing can make you happy.  You are the only one who can make you happy.  That can only happen when you have inner wholeness, peace, and integrity.  (WLJ)

The 12^th Step in the Gamblers Anonymous Recovery Program (paraphrased) calls for the recovering gambler to pass on the message of hope and help to those in need of recovery from compulsive gambling.  Commonly, we hear the saying that by helping others, we receive more of a blessing than those receiving help.  Service to others plays a significant role in recovery; and working alongside others, in service, provides an arena wherein new friendships are made.

(5)  Can I really lose this FEAR that rules my life?  What if my family never trusts me again?  What if my friends never forgive me?  What if I never get out of debt?  What if I lose my job?  What if I wind up in a treatment center?  What IF?  What IF?  What IF?

A more modern context of courage involves things such as overcoming addictive habits, irrational anxieties, and negative co-dependent relationships. … Dr. Theodore Malloch wrote, “Virtues are seen at their most admirable in adversity, when they seal the fate of the one who has them.  We know this from the virtue of courage…” (Malloch, Theodore R., Doing Virtuous Business: The Remarkable Success of Spiritual Enterprise, Thomas Nelson, Inc. 2011; also quoted in Three Steps to Integrity, The ABC Model, William L. Jenkins, Xulon Press, 2012, p.67)

As the expression goes, borrowing trouble describes our What ifs as they project both present and past fears into tomorrow - and the days beyond.  Yes, healthy anticipations and concerns about the future need to be considered and accompanied by appropriate responses.   Worry that never ceases, however, preoccupies the mind … and harbors a seeking of relief, often in unhealthy ways. 

The bottom line to all of the above “fears” is this: Do you allow things you cannot do (out of fear, or for some other reason) prevent you from doing the things you should in order to experience and grow in recovery?

Blessings,

 

Rev. Janet Jacobs

Founding Director

Gambling Recovery Ministries

For more information on the 12 Steps to Recovery Program, go to www.gamblersanonymous.org

To visit the Christ Ministry Center website, in San Diego, and read further articles by Dr. Bill Jenkins, go to www.ChristSD.com

For more information on problem gambling and recovery issues, visit www.grmumc.org

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Post 62

A SLIP:  Up Front and Personal

If you have kept up with the GRM Blog this summer, you will know that I suffered a foot fracture almost four months ago.  Recovery has been going well ... lots of pain, at first, and big-time swelling.  Gradually, the tenderness subsided and my sasquatch paw has taken the shape and appearance of its right-side companion.  

Walking is comfortable now and every day, I'm feeling stronger and stronger ... so much so that my gait is back to normal and I frequently forget to - purposefully - watch my step.  Therein, lies the problem!  Sometimes, when things are starting to feel almost normal again, we may be tempted to replace our precautionary, recovery-mindsets with actions/thoughts that could very well be counterproductive to a complete return to health and wholeness. 

Take my friend's advice for me to hold onto the stairway railing always.  So the slip came. Yes, it was only one step ... but as I clutched the railing, I thought of what could result from such a misstep.  Somewhat shaken and safely seated in the family room, I then formulated some essential lessons-learned  to put back on my radar screen.  They are lessons for me; but perhaps, these barebone basics will provide wisdom and forethought for any of you in the process of recovery (for any reason!).  

This is what I am re-learning:

• When I think I'm safe to return to "normal", I need to be cautious of quick, automatic responses (maybe I can ...  but maybe not: be deliberate and think!)
• Think about those automatic responses: were they ever safe or wise?
• Are friends/family members repeatedly cautioning me about the same actions? (they actually could have a valid point) 
• Were there mini-slips (or maxi-slips) prior to the most recent one?  Have I reminded myself previously to watch out about certain actions and/or thoughts?
• After the slip, I have needed to re-plug into my getting well mindset ... and vigilantly keep it plugged in.
• Re-evaluate the situation: author new lessons-learned ... and follow them!

The Gamblers Anonymous Yellow Book (p. 17) reminds recovering gamblers to be - and stay - alert.  "Don't test or tempt yourself.  Don't associate with acquaintances who gamble.  Don't go in or near gambling establishments.  Don't gamble for anything."  This is true wisdom for the recovering gambler!  And yet, there's more ...  I close now with the final piece of advice from page 17:

Be patient!  The days and weeks will pass soon enough, and as you continue to attend meetings and abstain from gambling, your recovery will really accelerate.      Amen!

Blessings,

Rev. Janet Jacobs
Founding Director
Gambling Recovery Ministries

For more information on the Gamblers Anonymous 12 Step Program of Recovery, go to www.gamblersanonymous.org .  Also, information on Gam-Anon, for family members, friends, and/or associates of problem gamblers can be found at www.gam-anon.org   

For more information on problem gambling and recovery issues, visit www.grmumc.org

Post 61

Declining Churches and Ministry to Gamblers

This month, we are celebrating our one year anniversary of establishing a resource ministry "outpost" at Christ Ministry Center in San Diego, California.  It's a modest start ... but from the beginning, Rev. Dr. Bill Jenkins, CMC Director, has referred to our two fully stocked mini-libraries (located within the Center) as the "West Coast Headquarters for Gambling Recovery Ministries". 
(see GRM Blog Post 42 at   www.grmumc.org )

Throughout the year, I have appreciated Bill's encouraging support and welcome mat to GRM. Not long ago, he extended - again - a welcome for Gamblers Anonymous and Gam-Anon Meetings to meet at the Center.  Actually, we toured several nice rooms that would be quite suitable and very accommodating for weekly meetings.  As we walked the halls and visited the spaces, the vision of a resource center - with room for meetings, consultations, drop-in discussions and a library brimming with free take-home materials on problem gambling - filled my mind.  Now, I am committing this to concerted prayer ... that the Lord will bring the people and resources together to create such a center of outreach and safe harbor to seek help for recovery.

In the early ‘90’s, before God’s Call for me to enter the ministry, I was actively involved in mission at the parish level.  My pastor, at the time, shared with me a personal revelation, derived from scripture: without a vision, the people perish.  Before “visioning” ever became pop terminology, I was asked to head up a “Vision Committee” for our local church.  We met regularly for almost two years with amazing discussions and planning sessions.  It was an experience that, later, encouraged me, as a pastor, to utilize visioning in church settings and with Gambling Recovery Ministries.  Now – again – I pray for God’s visions:  for GRM and the new Clergy/Lay Ministers Certification program of the American Compulsive Gambling Counselor Certification Board (see Post 60 of the GRM Blog  www.grmumc.org ).  

Back to Christ Ministry Center … the facility was not always a multi-use/multi-ministry/multi-church neighborhood center.  The original structure, built during the 1950’s, housed First Evangelical United Brethren Church of San Diego, a mega church for its time.  Fast forward fifty years, along with church membership dwindling to the point of serious door-closing discussions, the call for visioning came.  Yes, eventually the Church discontinued in 2011  AND  yes, Christ  Ministry Center was born to bring hope, help, love, care, and resurrection-power to all entering the doors. Now, CMC is the home for 12 churches and multiple ministries and agencies of help - including Gambling Recovery Ministries!   

So I continue to pray for vision – not mine, but God’s.  How can GRM most effectively serve problem gamblers and their loved ones, not only in San Diego and Indiana, but wherever those impacted by gambling addiction are?  Will you join me in prayer … for Divine vision and direction … to expand this pioneering outreach of hope and help … to those on the margins of care. 

Blessings,

Rev. Janet Jacobs

Founding Director

Gambling Recovery Ministries

NOTE!!  The recent, fascinating article “Officially Closed, but Open to New Ministry” on Christ Ministry Center has been written by Linda Bloom, foremost journalist for the United Methodist News Service (national/international audience).  A thumbnail history describing Dr. Bill Jenkins’ work with the Center’s development is an excellent read. The message of hope and resurrection is evident and the tone is clearly one of inspiration!  Included, as well, is Dr. Jenkins’ listing of advisory suggestions for those considering the re-birthing of a “dying” church.  Check it out!

To read the article, visit:

 www.umc.org/news-and-media/officially-closed-but-open-to-new-ministry

 

For more information about Christ United Methodist Ministry Center, go to  www.christsd.com  

Post 60

ANNOUNCING ......... NEW CERTIFICATION!!

Clergy/Lay Ministers Certification 

in Gambling Addiction Prevention, Education, Awareness

and Spiritual Outreach Care    

I am very pleased to share with you breaking news about a brand-new, first ever, certification - of national stature - for clergy and lay ministers, provided by the American Compulsive Gambling Counselor Certification Board (ACGCCB). 

The American Board  now provides a process for recognizing and certifying clergy and other faith-based workers who are proficient in gambling addiction prevention education, awareness, and supportive outreach, non-clinical care.  With specialized training leading to certification, knowledgeable clergy/faith-based workers, can offer guidance, educational materials, support, hope, spiritual care, and other resources, and  help lead people to certified gambling counselors and recovery support groups.  

Generally, there are few, if any, formal systems of support within faith-based structures for persons affected adversely by disordered gambling. Responding to this need, the ACGCCB Clergy / Lay Ministers Certification is designed to provide basic knowledge about gambling addiction and treatment and recovery resources, to enhance the clergyperson’s skills at recognizing compulsive gambling, and to provide information for the gambler’s family on dealing with their loved one’s addiction. 

Additionally, ACGCCB Certification assures that Clergy and Lay Ministers possess high standards of training, competency, skills, and knowledge.  This enables people with compulsive gambling problems to have confidence that they have  professionals who can provide the very best  first responder care to persons affected, directly or indirectly, by problem gambling.

For more information on attaining this new Clergy/Lay Ministers Certification, starting the process of certification, and the locations and dates of the required Core Curriculum Training, contact the following:

                                                       

 ACGCCB

 3635 Quakerbridge Road, Suite 7

 University Office Plaza 1

 Hamilton, NJ   08619

 Phone:  609-588-9338

 www.certificationboard.com

As I stated at the beginning of Post 60, this gambling-specific Clergy/Lay Ministers Certification is a pioneering project of national scope.  Vision with me ... faith communities (all faiths!) across the country

• lead by clergy and lay ministers knowledgeable about gambling addiction and recovery issues
• equipped with a wide variety of educational materials on problem gambling
• providing information of referral to gambling-specific certified counselors and treatment programs
• welcoming Gamblers Anonymous and Gam-Anon to meet in their faith-centers

Vision with me and pray for clergy and other faith-based workers to catch this vision and join in this new frontier of outreach to those in need of healing and hope!

Blessings,

Rev. Janet Jacobs

Founding Director, Gambling Recovery Ministries

For more information on problem gambling and recovery issues, visit www.grmumc.org 

Spiritual Recovery ... From Where Does Prayer Come? 

Post 59

For the past two-plus weeks, my life has slowed waaaay down.  Attempting a tricky back-hand move on the tennis court netted (no pun intended) a "sprained foot" and lots of elevated-foot rest.  Gradually, improvement has come - from puffy sasquatch paw to a semi-swollen human foot.  So there has been plenty of time to continue the endless sorting of materials in my home office.  (See the May 2014 GRM Blog " at www.grmumc.org ).

As the days pass by - and many faith-based articles from magazines, books, and seminary class papers are reviewed - it clearly has come to me: my recovery is not just about the healing from an injured foot. Rather, these forced recliner-sitting sessions daily bring me to a place where I meet and re-meet the Divine. Continuously, others' faith experiences remind me that this time of recovery can be/is a holy time, one of reflection, prayer, meditation, and discussion.  Often, in fact, hours seem like minutes - and by evening, the day has a satisfying fullness to it.  

During this time, I have thought often of the four Steps (in the Twelve Steps to Recovery of GA and Gam-Anon that specifically address need for a Higher Power of our own understanding.  Each Step builds a momentum toward full recovery; and all four of these Steps enhance the efforts put forth in the working of other Steps.

Here are the four Steps:

Step 2:  Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to a normal way of thinking and living;
Step 3:  Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of this Power of our own understanding;
Step 7:  Humbly asked God (of our understanding) to remove our shortcomings;
Step 11:  Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for the knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.  

Indeed, both Gamblers Anonymous and Gam-Anon have been described as spiritual programs in the recovery field!

Re-reading Step 11, I am reminded of a "thought" that came to mind a few days ago.  So often, people ask me,  How can I know how to pray within God's will?  Is it sufficient just to pray "not my will but Thine." Yes, of course. Yet, can there be an added dimension to our prayers that will help us to understand more about praying in God's will?

Allow me to offer a suggestion.
(1)  Let us begin with the acceptance that prayer can take the form of simply talking to God (one's Higher Power) ... talking about what is happening in a person's life - the highs and the lows ... and everything in between, particularly issues that need to be addressed in prayer. A good time to do this is at the end of the day.
(2)  During the next day, watch for/be open to  divine promptings ... word(s), images, concepts, concerns. Voice these in simple prayer form - including  "in Your will"  with each.
(3)  Again, say simple "talking" forms of prayers in the evening, as you did the night before.
(4) Continue, the next day, to be aware of divine promptings.  Be watchful and prayerful throughout the day.

Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for the knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.   Amen!

Blessings,

Rev. Janet Jacobs
Founding Director
Gambling Recovery Ministries

For more information on problem gambling recovery issues, go to www.grmumc.org .

Also, visit  www.gamblersanonymous.org  and  www.gam-anon.org  for further details on the Twelve Steps to Recovery.

                        



     

Cleaning Out ... Clearing Up! 
(Recovery Prayers and De-cluttering) 

Post 58

Our recent garage-organization project was on my mind the other day ... such a simple design ... and definitely DIY.  Yes, free-standing shelves and big plastic bins (with covers, definitely) were added ... plus new pegboard now covers most of the walls.  The timing - weather-wise - was perfect: cool days providing slightly brisk conditions that kept the energy flowing without summer's debilitating heat and humidity. We found all kinds of STUFF - much of it to be safely recycled.  Interestingly, several items were uncovered that (1) previously, we had spent time searching and searching; and (2) we had forgotten we ever had! 

When all was said and done, several good "finds" were made.  Obviously, we rediscovered the garage's roominess- including a larger-than-we-thought bump-out area, perfect for a small workshop.  Additionally, there were several unused heavy-duty hanging hooks already fitting into older pegboard spots.  Then too,  we found abundant, untouched space in the old, repurposed kitchen wall cabinets.  In other words, usable areas filled the garage; but they had not been in service, thanks to CLUTTER!

Inspired by the success of our garage project, I moved on to my sewing box, an old trunk, and a large dresser drawer.  Now, I was on a roll!  Once more, I found roominess after the weeding out was completed.  It was the trunk, however, that brought forth new revelations.  This container was crammed with documents, articles, magazines, pictures, cards and letters, old sermons, and most of the term papers from my ministry classes.

As I continued to plow through the paper piles, I grew more and more appreciative of the many experiences and interpersonal dynamics that each piece of paper represented.  The course grades and professors' positive comments pointed to - yes - long, long hours of work and study AND to Divine guidance and wisdom that accompanied me.  I read several papers and shook my head ... it had to have been God who kept me focused, granted insight, and provided the energy to fulfill the course requirements.  At the bottom of the trunk was a heavy box overflowing with letters and cards with so many thoughtful notes - especially during a most difficult time of medical crises for us years ago. 

And then, there was the plastic bag packed with clipped, inspirational articles.  They will be read again and sorted.  My father had made it a weekly practice to write each of his adult children a letter.  Into his 90's the letters regularly came.  He would clip coupons too for all of us - and stuff them along with his single page letters into plain white envelopes.  Almost always, along with the coupons, Dad's weekly packets to me included several articles written by pastors or other faith-based authors. He thought I might be able to use them for my weekly sermons.  Again and again, those articles came ... and I did use a good number of them.  Most of all, I appreciated his wanting to support his daughter's later-in-life call into ministry.  To go over these articles, personally and purposefully selected by my father, will anoint my days to come ... with affirmation from both of my Fathers.  

So in the spirit of recovering the lost/forgotten/unused/neglected/cluttered areas of our lives, this month's edition of the GRM Blog brings forth Prayers as We De-clutter - and Recover !

PRAYERS AS WE DE-CLUTTER - AND RECOVER!

1.  Thank You, God, for giving to me the motivation - even if it's just a beginning, small amount - to start the task of reorganizing this spot (area) in my life.
2.  Thank You for giving me the energy and focus to do the work.
3.  Thank You for increased spaces that I will find in accomplishing my project ... help me to put these areas to work for (not against) my recovery.
4.  As I locate, once-thought, lost items, remind me of personal qualities I am re-experiencing and newly developing in recovery.
5.  As I sort through countless items, reaffirm to me that I was - and still am - a person of worth.  Show me certain "treasures" of past days that will re-enforce my efforts in the journey to recovery.
6.  Last - but most of all - I give You thanks and praise for the work You are doing within me!

For more information on problem gambling and recovery issues, visit www.grmumc.org .

Blessings,

Rev. Janet Jacobs
Founding Director
Gambling Recovery Ministries

Reach Out!

Post 57

In February, I was contacted by National Council on Problem Gambling committee members with a request to telephonically meet with them to discuss outreach.  I had been referred to them as one who could provide ideas as to how the Council could reach out to faith-based communities.  The basic question was, What are the most effective ways to share information on problem gambling with religious leaders and their parishes? 

In preparing for the teleconference, I jotted down several "best-practice" and successfully proven experiences I have had in connecting with faith-based communities.  As the list lengthened, the need grew, also, to share - broadly - these endeavors.  So ... here is the list!  

REACHING OUT TO FAITH COMMUNITIES CHECKLIST

1.  Reach out to specific faith-based places of worship/agencies/ministry centers/treatment centers that already deal with addiction issues.  Often, these entities will be open to gaining more information that are recovery-specific with regard to gambling problem.  However, such centers/parishes may not be up to speed on knowledge about gambling addiction - much less, having awareness of their area's certified compulsive gambling treatment providers, GA/Gam-Anon Meetings, or even problem gambling help-line numbers.  Therefore, go where addiction is already part of the conversation and join in!
An excellent example of a faith-based treatment center - already addressing gambling issues - is Salvation Army's Harbor Light Center in Indianapolis.  Check with the Harbor Light staff about their established connections with churches, agencies, and other ministry centers that would be receptive to information about problem gambling and recovery issues.

2.  Some States have State employees whose job description calls for interacting with the faith-based community with regard to addiction issues - problem gambling included.  Connecting with these persons may provide excellent partnering relationships in outreach to many people!

3.  Use the person-to-person approach and utilize your own resources.  Individuals with strong faith-based connections, generally,  provide personal encouragement to clergy and lay leaders alike.  These folks can be great door-openers for meeting with congregational leaders and parish clergy.

4.  Congregations often have "Social Justice" or "Social Concerns" types of committees.  Community outreach usually falls to these groups.

5.   Be prepared!  Have quality materials - in quantity - about problem gambling and recovery issues.  Include practical information such as listings of certified compulsive gambling treatment providers and Gamblers Anonymous/Gam-Anon Meetings.  Also, have speakers ready and willing to present programs in faith-based settings - both professionals and GA/Gam-Anon members.

6.  Consider going all out and sponsor educational conferences for interfaith audiences on gambling addiction and recovery.  Expanding the topics to include substance abuse and other addictions without substance may bring a larger response, as well.  Work together with other mental health leaders to put together a top-rate program.  Have a point-person from the faith-based community to serve on the event's planning committee.  Gear publicity to both faith-based and secular audiences.  Grant CEUs!  An example of such a program is detailed in the GRM Blog, September 2013 edition.  This describes the First Responder Conference - held on September 13, 2013 in Indianapolis.

7.  When visiting with clergy, refer to Gambling Recovery Ministries website www.grmumc.org Click on "Ministry" and then "Initial Contact".  This is a mini-tutorial script  for clergy who are speaking for the first time with a person affected by problem gambling.  Again, this is another very practical help that can be shared with clergy of all faiths.
 
In closing, I want to encourage you: share the good news of hope, help, and recovery to communities of faith.  Just about every time I present a program about problem gambling to a congregation, a person will share with me afterward how gambling addiction has directly touched his/her life. 

 Reach out!  Many are waiting for help and healing ... and the good news that you can bring!

Blessings,

Rev. Janet Jacobs
Founding Director
Gambling Recovery Ministries

 

 

       

  

Re

Climbing the Steps: Setting Goals and Reaching Them!

Post 56

In January, I didn't envision or plan to start the new "Blog Year" with a three-part series on accomplishing resolutions.  However, the immediate past two Posts have flowed along this pattern; and then this month, one more set of reminders for achieving goals came my way.  For several weeks now, I have been a part of a program for Lent called "Forty Days to Integrity".  Each day during the Lenten Season, I view a different, five minute video presented by Reverend Dr. Bill Jenkins.  Easily accessible, these short programs come via e-mail through www.eintegrity.net . 

As I was watching one of these clips, Seven Strategies for Reaching Your Goals, a light bulb blinked on: utilize these strategies in working on and achieving each of the Twelve Steps.  So often, one hears that a certain Step - for an individual - seems to be more difficult to accomplish than the others.  The next thought that came to mind was that (of course!) each Step, in itself, is a goal of recovery on the way to accomplishing the ultimate goal of full recovery.  So then, why not apply these "Strategies" for reaching recovery goals throughout the working of each of the Steps!

Therefore, while a person works an individual Step, some or all of the strategies can be great tools.  Take a close look at the Seven Strategies below.  Then review the Gamblers Anonymous and Gam-Anon Twelve Steps to Recovery.  See how many of the Strategies can apply within the recovery work for each Step.  Indeed, I think you will find that most or many of them will be of significant help in accomplishing the many goals of recovery - one Step at a time! 

SEVEN STRATEGIES FOR REACHING YOUR GOALS  www.eintegrity.net

1.  Think the BIG picture.  (What does recovery-in-all-kinds-of-ways look like to you?)

2.  Write it down.  (You can review and thus remember exactly what your goals are.)

3.  Break your big goals into smaller steps.  (Mini-steps of recovery within each Step!)

4.  Prioritize  (This helps you to see your mini-goals more clearly; and keeps you more organized.)

5.  Set deadlines and milestones BUT be realistic and make them measurable.  (Again: be realistic!)

6.  Use great role models  - persons who inspire you. (Persons you know AND/OR those you only  
     know about.)

7.  Keep your eye on the "prize".  (Your recovery goals for each Step.)  

For more information on "40 Days to Integrity" contact Dr. Bill Jenkins, through his contact information at www.christsd.com . 

For listings of the Gamblers Anonymous 12 Steps to Recovery and the Gam-Anon Twelve Steps, go to www.gamblersanonymous.org  and  www.gam-anon.org .  In addition, the National Hotline for GA is (888) GA-HELPS.

Blessings,

Rev. Janet Jacobs
Founding Director
Gambling Recovery Ministries

 

Post 55

Failure: Let's Take Another Look

Earlier this month I commented on the observation that most New Year's Resolutions are discarded or given up as failed attempts by the end of February.  If you made a resolution in January, how are you doing?  Are you experiencing success in new endeavors?  Are modifications in behavior taking hold and beginning to feel normal?  Hopefully - regardless of the results so far - you have not given yourself the big, red-inked "F" and labeled yourself as a failure.

"Failure" is a tough word.  Nobody likes to see themselves in this context.  We shrink at the sight of a failing grade on a test.  We shrink again at the disappointment that failure to accomplish may bring to others - and to ourselves.  Then too, failure may be labeled in terms that are even more demeaning and unrealistic than the failed act truly is.  Worse yet, we can be the label-making, finger-pointers.

Last year, I read an article about this very topic of "failure".  The author placed a kinder, more gentle emphasis on accomplishments gone sour or not completed.  Rather than seeing failure as an end-of-the-line product, the readers are encouraged to express their failed or not-so-perfect attempts as a stage in the process of change and/or learning.

As I read this explanation, I thought about my first attempt at sewing a dress from scratch.  Well, I did complete the work and was able to wear the dress but it didn't quite look like the image on the pattern cover - nor did it fit exactly how I thought it should.  So what was my response to this very difficult (for me) project?  I recognized that there was a lot of unexpected learning built into first-ever undertakings!  Below is a list of these lessons learned.  Included are italicized observations or questions that may be of help as you tackle new attempts to achieve desired goals in 2014.
           
1.  Into the project, I wound up seeking help from a more experienced seamstress.  She was able to complete the shoulder seams so they would fit! 
Seek expert help first.  Don't be afraid to ask for help before, during, or after a project!

2.  I selected a pattern more suitable for a higher-level seamstress. 
Consider the realistic nature of your goal/resolution.  Is it more accomplishable in segments? Can you achieve your final desired goal by way of steps that are more realistic for your abilities/nature/individual setting?   

 3.  I selected fabric that was prone to raveling - and therefore, very difficult to cut and sew on the machine.  I learned that this material was a nightmare - at my level of sewing ability - to work with.
What helps/knowledge/equipment do you have to achieve your goal?  What do you need - from the beginning - to start your endeavor?   

4.  I discovered, later, that I enjoyed sewing and working with materials - but not dressmaking!  Instead, curtains, tablecloths, napkins, and pillow shams were more pleasing projects for me to make and enjoy.
Disappointing results may actually lead to more workable - and satisfying - outcomes ... even new accomplishments!

5.  I regretted spending money on expensive material for a product that turned out to be a disappointment.
Looking back, I learned that the above lessons learned were more valuable than the cost of the pricey fabric.  Over time, these lessons have morphed into priceless guides and words of wisdom for me - and others!

In closing, let us remember that life - in its fullness - is about learning.  Recovery too is about steps ... and the personal learning that comes with each step, toward healing and wholeness.

Blessings,

Rev. Janet Jacobs
Founding Director
Gambling Recovery Ministries

For more information on relapse and recovery, go to www.grmumc.org  

Post 54  

IT’S ABOUT TIME

  
It’s [all] about time

It’s about time …

It’s about time!!!

Happy New Year!  Already, Super Bowl 2014 is history; and I am just now starting the January GRM Blog.  It’s about time!  Seriously, as the month of January flew by – and my theme song for the month continued to be Where Has the Time Gone? -  I began to formulate the Blog message to start this new year. 

In truth, the element of time has much to do with New Year’s Resolutions – and their success.  Working in modifications or complete change within our established life patterns involves time. Both doing and undoing certain aspects of our individual behaviors mandate deliberate time spent to affect desired results.  I heard a recent sermon wherein the preacher said that most resolutions made at the beginning of the new year are given up by the end of February.  What happened?  My guess is that time was not devoted to making the hoped-for results take hold and develop. 

So let’s talk about the element of time.  There are many expressions incorporating this concept.  Time is money.  It’s all about timing.  The world’s time vs God’s Time.  Be on time!  Time will tell.  We could fill more lines with similar sayings but the picture is clear: time spent  and  timing can make a difference in people’s lives!

Not long ago, a friend shared with me that she is going to be deliberate about working into her schedule daily therapeutic exercises.  She added that the closing statement said at the end of support group meetings “It works if you work it” is not one of her favorite sayings. However, she continued, It’s really true, anyway.

It was then I reminded her that what was next said was most  important: “and you’re worth it!” In other words, change (i.e., spending time working toward change) is the way to achieve the desired results AND a person’s claim to be “worth it” is the basic motivation for this change to take place.

Therefore, to emphasize the essential role that time plays in recovery efforts, I have revised a number of the Gamblers Anonymous 20 Questions in terms of one’s devoting time to the work of recovery.  Hopefully, this Check List will provide a practical and helpful reminder to use time as an essential tool in recovery.

TAKING-TIME-FOR-RECOVERY CHECKLIST

1.    Calculate: how much more time would you have at work for work (at school for schoolwork) if you did not engage in gambling activities (in the workplace or at school)?

2.    Set aside at least one-half hour of time at home doing something enjoyable instead of gambling;  increase this ”new time” by additional ½ hour increments on a weekly or monthly basis.

3.    Take time to arrange payment plans for debts with creditors. 

4.    Spend a set amount of time weekly to budget and pay household bills and other financial obligations. 

5.    Invest time in Gamblers Anonymous:  attend weekly (or more) Meetings; attend a GA Budget Relief Session with a significant family member or friend;  participate in GA conferences and celebrations (“Pinnings”)

6.    When you are plagued with worries and troubles, take deliberate time to talk with a counselor, pastor, and/or trusted recovery friend (or sponsor) instead of letting the worries consume hours of your day/night.  If you feel that you “need” to worry, set aside a certain, limited daily amount of time (a set number of  minutes); focus on the worries only; when time is up, restrict your worrying to the next day’s prescribed amount of minutes to worry (i.e., your “Worry Time”). 

7.    When an urge to gamble attacks, set a timer for five minutes.  At the end of the 5 minutes, remind yourself that you did not gamble for that amount of time – even though the urge was there.  Then set another segment of minutes’ timing to stave off a further urge.  Keep doing this until the urge fades and is no longer immediately threatening.  The urge will fade!

8.    Calculate the amount of time you spend (1) daily thinking about gambling, (2) arguing with family members, (3) creating ways to hide gambling activities, and/or (4) creating ways to obtain extra gambling money.

9.    Calculate how many hours of sleep that you lose worrying about finances.

10. Consider the expression: time is money; as you have been in recovery, calculate how much further ahead you are, financially speaking, now that you have spent less time involved in gambling activities/thoughts/actions to hide gambling, etc.  

                                              Recovery?  It’s about time!!             

Blessings,

      Rev. Janet Jacobs
      Founding Director
      Gambling Recovery Ministries

For more information on the Gamblers Anonymous Twenty Questions, go to www.gamblersanonymous.org

      For detailed information on problem gambling recovery issues, visit www.grmumc.org