Friday, February 8, 2013



Post 36

LOVING:  Not Always About Liking … but Always About Hope!

Years ago, I preached a series of sermons about Love.  Over a number of weeks, we explored several varieties of love – from the cozy, comfortable  feeling of affection and well-being toward persons we really do like … to the most difficult level of loving individuals who proactively have it out for us, carrying vendettas in wanton and unpredictable ways.

Sometimes, love can turn into a downward direction, souring and dissolving into disappointment, nothingness, and perhaps even harm.  Most likely, dysfunctional behavior initiates that downward spiral of broken relationships.  When this happens within families, anger, blame, guilt, and shame commonly result. Unpredictability and chaos reign.  It seems everyone shares a piece of the not-so-lovable-or-likeable family pie. 

When problem gambling enters the domestic picture, home life can begin to feel very different.  Others notice how preoccupied the gambler has become.  His/her schedule may be erratic - and important family events routinely missed.  Financial worries can develop to the point of devastation.  Indeed, loving the circumstances becomes impossible; and, yes, loving the individuals involved may, very well, seem impossible.

Gam-Anon, the self-help support organization of men and women who have been affected by the gambling problem of a loved one, addresses such problems.  Through this 12 Step Program, Gam-Anon members find pathways back to normal modes of thinking and living, whether or not their loved ones continue to gamble.  First and foremost, it’s about taking care of themselves … loving and caring for themselves in healthy ways to be better prepared in dealing with their personal and home-life situations. 
Gam-Anon, then, is about self-recovery … a personal journey of lifting away shame, guilt, anger/rage, and blame.  Gam-Anon is experiencing hope – and in hope, love for life (one’s own life and the lives of others) has fertile ground in which to develop and grow
Gam-Anon’s website, http://www.gam-anon.org/ includes a page filled with love.  Check out “Personal Experiences” at http://www.gam-anon.org/purpose.htm .   Read story after story from spouses, a parent, a companion, and an adult child of a gambler about how each person received and gained love from fellow members as they share their journeys in recovery together.   
For more information on hope and help for problem gambling, go to www.grmumc.org
Blessings,
Rev. Janet Jacobs
Founding Director,
Gambling Recovery Ministries    

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