Post
103
COURAGE:
Twelve
Steps
and Inspirations from the Legend of St.
Valentine
Within this past January GRM Blog, I referred to the making of New Year’s resolutions or new
goals for 2018 by noting that often by
mid-February, those aspirations are cast aside or simply ignored. Well, it’s past that point now – and at the
end of the month. If resolutions or goals were made … how are you doing? Have they been cast aside, ignored, perhaps
only contemplated, or has a new
resolve actually become an acquired aspect of your lifestyle? Taking a look at the latter possibility, how
did change occur? Bit by bit? Cold-turkey?
Timidly? Bravely with
courage?
John Kasich fills his book, Courage Is Contagious (Doubleday, New York, New York, 1998), with
examples of persons facing life challenges and struggles that most of us may
never experience. Indeed, courage
is a door-opener … to new – and most probably unexpected – feelings,
experiences, life changes, affirmations, deeper faith, and even more courage!Earlier this month, I attended a GA/Gam-Anon Mini Conference. The discussions and testimonies spoke truly of courage. In fact, the prospect of change can be like stepping off a cliff into an unknown void: downright scary! However, there is discernible security in the 12 Steps to Recovery while working with a seasoned (in recovery) sponsor and group support.
Since it’s still February - and with a nod to St. Valentine (a courageous man) - let’s take a look at courageous questions that face courageous individuals seeking courageous recovery through each of the 12 Steps. Asking these questions clarifies the key issue of each Step in the process of recovery.
Questioning oneself turns the Step inward, thus personalizing the challenge (and subsequent invitation to change) by way of each Step attained.
Notice, also, that there are blanks – spaces to fill in your addiction and/or troubling behavior. This is not just about problem/compulsive gambling!
STEP
1: We
admitted we were powerless over gambling – that our lives had become
unmanageable. QUESTION:
Have I lost control of _____?
Does my lifestyle center around ____
regardless of adverse consequences (or quite possible adverse
consequences) to me, my family, my friends, my work?
STEP
2: Came
to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to a normal way
of thinking and living. QUESTION: What aspects of my
current thinking and living are not normal due to _______ ?
Without _______ how would normal thinking and living look
like?
STEP
3: Made
a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of this Power of our
own understanding. QUESTION: What will this care
look like? Is “care” the same as
“control”? Will I be able to make
choices?
STEP
4: Made
a searching and fearless moral and financial inventory of ourselves. QUESTION: I am afraid to look at
my moral self and my finances and to see the impact that _______ has had upon
my whole self. However, might I not feel
relief instead to face the truth –
both the positive and the negative aspects of my life?
STEP
5: Admitted
to ourselves and another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. QUESTION: Will I feel relieved to share my “wrongs”
with another person? Or will I regret
telling such things? Regardless of these
possible consequences, it will take courage – and I’ll learn more about myself
and my abilities to be truthful and honest.
STEP
6: Were
entirely ready to have these defects of character removed. QUESTION: Again, will sharing my
defects of character with another person help me to feel unburdened (at least
somewhat) and provide courage for me to be ready to remove the wrongs that have
been holding me back from full recovery?
STEP
7: Humbly
ask God (of our understanding) to remove our shortcomings. QUESTION: This question is
twofold: am I really, entirely ready enough to have my shortcomings removed by my higher Power; are the
shortcomings to which I admit the same as those identified by God?
STEP
8: Make
a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them
all. QUESTION: What if the person has
died or moved away (and their location is unknown) … how will I make
amends? Will the courage to share my
wrongs to another person (Step 5) sufficiently strengthen me to be ready to
make amends?
STEP
9: Make
direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would
injure them or others. QUESTION: What if the person does not accept my amend-making? Will my efforts help me to close-the-door on
my guilt and shame?
STEP
10: Continued
to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it. QUESTION: May I be able to keep a
courageous eye on denial by keeping my personal inventory current and honest?
STEP
11: Sought
through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we
understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to
carry that out. QUESTION: When I hesitate in fear
to continue my recovery work, do I boldly pray for the courage to keep on
keeping-on?
STEP
12: Having
made an effort to practice these principles in all our affairs, we tried to
carry this message to other compulsive gamblers. QUESTION: Sometimes, it’s
difficult to talk personally to another _________ for fear of rejection or
derisive replies. Will I count on the
courage I’ve already gained (by working the Steps) to share my experiences and
message of recovery?
In closing, I recommend another book, as well …Why Courage Matters ..The Way to a Braver
Life by John McCain with Mark Salter (Random House, Inc., New York, 2004). Throughout this book, I am reminded of the
many, new ministry projects and programs the congregations I pastored
endeavored. “But we’ve never done that
before” did not stop them! Instead, we would ask each other following yet
another new outreach, “what if we hadn’t done this?”
So how is COURAGE connected to St. Valentine of
Rome? It is noted in early church
history, that Valentinus stood his ground against the Roman Emperor Claudius
II. During the third century A.D.,
persecution, of Christians who refused to worship Roman gods and/or the Emperor,
increased. Valentinus was no exception;
and he was sentenced to death. Awaiting
his fate, according to legend, he was given the opportunity to tutor his jailor’s
blind daughter. Unafraid, Valentinus
taught her, among many topics, how to pray; and when she prayed, legend has it,
she received her sight!By the way …
recovery has much to do
with courage and new vision …
doesn’t it!
Blessings,
Rev. Janet Jacobs, CCGSOFounding Director
Gambling Recovery Ministries
www.grmumc.org
For
more information on problem gambling and recovery issues, visit:
www.indianaproblemgambling.org 