HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
During our November meeting of the Indiana Conference Advocacy, Social Justice, and Ethnic Ministries Team, we discussed what might be the focus topics for 2012. What top three issues in Indiana might we want to particularly study in terms of potential State legislative items to be considered and implemented? No one mentioned gambling issues - and neither did I. It seemed that 2012 could very well be quiet with regard to the gambling scene at the Hoosier Statehouse.
One month later, national news carried the federal Office of Legal Counsel Opinion: internet gambling could be made legal via any State legislation. Suddenly, year 2012 became forecasted as a boundary-breaking timepiece for cyber-space gambling. Now, a perfect storm would be forming.
For sociologists, one could say that this will be a really interesting time.
For The United Methodist Church, this is a critical point in time.
Legally expanding gambling to the internet is not just about yet another venue of placing bets. Opening the airways to gamble without fear of breaking the law, in effect, brings a legal mini-casino into every home/car/phone with a computer. Gambling legally, then, could be done at any time and almost anywhere.
Given our national economic condition, a need prevails for increasing State revenues. Then too, with the legal lid off, more likely, we will see a dramatic increase in internet gaming venues ... and gambling. How will the States that pass legislation to permit internet gambling handle the tremendous increase in revenues? Will the current state slashing of budgets - especially of mental health services - continue? Will specialized counseling for problem gamblers and their families be made universally available throughout these States? Will prevention education about gambling addiction be broadly expanded for the public eye to see, plainly?
Again, this is a critical time for The United Methodist Church. Our UM Social Principles speaks out against gambling - and any expansion of gambling. Moreover, within the Principles, there is the call: Where gambling has become addictive, the Church will encourage such individuals to receive therapeutic assistance so that the individual's energies may be redirected into positive and constructive ends.
In response to proposed State legislation to legalize internet gambling. once more, United Methodists will be reminded that the expansion of gambling within our country is not a dead issue. The need for the Church to respond is essential. The time to prepare for the storm is now.
The critical points to include are the following:
** no legalization of internet gambling
** increased budgeting for training counselors to be certified in gambling
addiction counseling
** creation and support of in-patient treatment facilities for compulsive gamblers
** statewide expansion of prevention education concerning problem gambling and
recovery issues
In closing, I urge you to study, prepare for, and take action with regard to your State legislature's consideration of legalizing internet gambling. A recent blog that I read, from another website, called for waiting to see what will happen by his State legislators. Why wait? Their action might take place before your action ever began. Why wait?
For more information on problem gambling concerns in Indiana, go to http://www.indianaproblemgambling.org/
Information about online problem gambling can be found at http://www.ipgap.indiana.edu/images/documents/factsheet/online_college%20gambling.pdf
For further information on gambling addiction and recovery issues, go to www.grmumc.org
Saturday, January 14, 2012
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Post 22
A “Recovery Tree” with Promises/Presents
Recently, I was privileged to be a part of a discussion about a new take on celebrating recovery at Christmas. We had first talked about how anticipation and expectations of family holiday traditions can run wild. In fact, layer upon layer of annual yuletide goings-on can seem to hold families and individuals in bondage! But we’ve always had Aunt Virgie’s cinnamon buns for Christmas breakfast! … even when they take forever to prepare and bake!
Additionaly, agreement centered around the fact that family dynamics can be severely impacted by gambling addiction. Perhaps, Mom and/or Dad used to carry out family celebrations resulting in ideal scrapbook memories. But things changed - and one or both of the parents was/were not always at home – even for those important celebrations as birthdays or Christmas. Sadly, promises to attend special events became unbelievable. Or maybe heated arguments started to hold sway where, once, family joking and pleasant conversations were the norm.
However, as a person enters recovery, she/he begins to look forward to life’s becoming increasingly stabilized. Certainly, more time is available to spend with loved ones. Hopefully, a bit of money can be saved for modest gift giving. Sadly, but understandably, family members may not have caught up to new expectations held by the person in recovery. Trust may not be regained … and disappointment doesn’t want to be experienced, yet again.
Still, the one in recovery does need to celebrate, especially at a time when others are joining into an atmosphere of celebration. I do want to say that if loved ones are accepting of the recovering person’s progress, that’s wonderful! That’s ideal! However, if he or she, in recovery, senses reluctance on the part of others to fully celebrate – or even to be antagonistic - there can be a very creative, and prayerfully, fulfilling way to include one’s progress into the festivities – privately.
Our discussion first focused on how the GA Promises in Recovery can actually serve as presents to those recovering compulsive gamblers. Working the Gamblers Anonymous 12 Steps, the reality of recovery becomes more and more achievable and attainable. Life does become more manageable; trust in one’s Higher Power opens up an entirely new perspective; accountability and amends are a part of everyday living; and helping others know that there is real hope and help for problem gambling is rewarding – all of these, truly, become gifts to the one in recovery!
As we talked, someone quickly introduced the idea of – somehow – materializing these promises into the Christmas home scene. We settled upon the Christmas tree arena; and ideas began to fly! How about those miniature gift boxes? Each could have a word written on them to symbolize a certain point of progress (a “promise”) attained: peace, hope, goals (could be individually named), patience, prayer, love, freedom, Meetings, a new job, a family celebration, etc. Christmas card pictures depicting the promises could be fashioned into tree ornaments. Even a nativity scene’s figures may represent various aspects of the person’s recovery. Moreover, creative individuals could design their own promise ornaments.
Interestingly, the idea of quiet messages was discussed. As mentioned, there may be hostility present within the family dynamics. Loved ones may not be willing – yet – to fully accept that the problem gambler is serious about his/her recovery. Perhaps, the recovering individual will need to identify privately the new ornaments with their still hidden meanings. Hopefully, next year will be the time to explain the symbolism!
May God bless you during this Christmas season with a sense of true celebration!
For more information on the Promises of Alcoholics Anonymous, go to http://www.step12.com/promises.html
For more information on Gamblers Anonymous, go to www.gamblersanonymous.org
Also, you will find more information for loved ones of problem gamblers at
www.gam-anon.org
Check out www.grmumc.org for more referral information on problem gambling recovery issues.
Recently, I was privileged to be a part of a discussion about a new take on celebrating recovery at Christmas. We had first talked about how anticipation and expectations of family holiday traditions can run wild. In fact, layer upon layer of annual yuletide goings-on can seem to hold families and individuals in bondage! But we’ve always had Aunt Virgie’s cinnamon buns for Christmas breakfast! … even when they take forever to prepare and bake!
Additionaly, agreement centered around the fact that family dynamics can be severely impacted by gambling addiction. Perhaps, Mom and/or Dad used to carry out family celebrations resulting in ideal scrapbook memories. But things changed - and one or both of the parents was/were not always at home – even for those important celebrations as birthdays or Christmas. Sadly, promises to attend special events became unbelievable. Or maybe heated arguments started to hold sway where, once, family joking and pleasant conversations were the norm.
However, as a person enters recovery, she/he begins to look forward to life’s becoming increasingly stabilized. Certainly, more time is available to spend with loved ones. Hopefully, a bit of money can be saved for modest gift giving. Sadly, but understandably, family members may not have caught up to new expectations held by the person in recovery. Trust may not be regained … and disappointment doesn’t want to be experienced, yet again.
Still, the one in recovery does need to celebrate, especially at a time when others are joining into an atmosphere of celebration. I do want to say that if loved ones are accepting of the recovering person’s progress, that’s wonderful! That’s ideal! However, if he or she, in recovery, senses reluctance on the part of others to fully celebrate – or even to be antagonistic - there can be a very creative, and prayerfully, fulfilling way to include one’s progress into the festivities – privately.
Our discussion first focused on how the GA Promises in Recovery can actually serve as presents to those recovering compulsive gamblers. Working the Gamblers Anonymous 12 Steps, the reality of recovery becomes more and more achievable and attainable. Life does become more manageable; trust in one’s Higher Power opens up an entirely new perspective; accountability and amends are a part of everyday living; and helping others know that there is real hope and help for problem gambling is rewarding – all of these, truly, become gifts to the one in recovery!
As we talked, someone quickly introduced the idea of – somehow – materializing these promises into the Christmas home scene. We settled upon the Christmas tree arena; and ideas began to fly! How about those miniature gift boxes? Each could have a word written on them to symbolize a certain point of progress (a “promise”) attained: peace, hope, goals (could be individually named), patience, prayer, love, freedom, Meetings, a new job, a family celebration, etc. Christmas card pictures depicting the promises could be fashioned into tree ornaments. Even a nativity scene’s figures may represent various aspects of the person’s recovery. Moreover, creative individuals could design their own promise ornaments.
Interestingly, the idea of quiet messages was discussed. As mentioned, there may be hostility present within the family dynamics. Loved ones may not be willing – yet – to fully accept that the problem gambler is serious about his/her recovery. Perhaps, the recovering individual will need to identify privately the new ornaments with their still hidden meanings. Hopefully, next year will be the time to explain the symbolism!
May God bless you during this Christmas season with a sense of true celebration!
For more information on the Promises of Alcoholics Anonymous, go to http://www.step12.com/promises.html
For more information on Gamblers Anonymous, go to www.gamblersanonymous.org
Also, you will find more information for loved ones of problem gamblers at
www.gam-anon.org
Check out www.grmumc.org for more referral information on problem gambling recovery issues.
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Post 21
A Giving-Thanks Screen
So often, emphasis is given on assessing whether or not – or how severe – an individual’s gambling problem exists. Commonly, we hear of GA’s and Gam-Anon’s sets of Twenty Questions, the South Oaks Gambling Screen, the SOGS for Adolescents, the Significant Other Gambling Problem Severity screen, the DSM IV Diagnostic Criteria, the FCCG Screen for Older Adults, and several other assessment tools. These are important and should not be omitted when working with clients.
Still as recovery work continues, it is significant for both the client and the therapist to make note of mile markers that chart progress being made. Again, there are therapeutic tools for such purposes as well as client homework questions geared to make note of positive wellness signs.
As Thanksgiving quickly approaches, my reviewing-the-year-thoughts have started in earnest. Asking myself what progress has been made on personal goals and new year’s resolutions (made months ago), the idea to reformat a diagnostic tool into a Giving-Thanks Screen began to take shape.
Looking at GA’s Twenty Questions and several DSM IV Diagnostic Criteria prompted me to put together such a model. Prayerfully, the following questions will not only provide progress assessments but also measurable reasons for giving thanks!
1. Throughout your day, do thoughts of being thankful often come to mind?
2. Do you give thanks for the increasing amounts of money that now enter your bank account due to the fact that money is no longer spent on gambling?
3. Is your day spent in a mode of thanks-living, now that you have passed the stage of restlessness and feelings of irritability associated with unsuccessful attempts to cut back on gambling?
4. Are you thankful that you are free from the lies and excuses you have had to live by, in order to cover up gambling losses and time spent gambling?
5. Do you give thanks for the following that have improved since you no longer gamble: personal relationships, increased performance at work, and sharpened focus within educational/self-improvement pursuits.
6. Are you thankfully relieved that you are no longer trying to obtain money from persons, creditors, or other resources?
7. Thankfully, do you now experience restful sleep, fewer feelings of guilt, and increasingly, fewer arguments?
8. Do you give thanks that every time you now pay a debt, you know that you are making progress in lowering a staggering amount of debts.
9. Are you relieved and thankful that triggers to gamble do not automatically control your actions?
10. Do you feel thankful for new hobbies, interests, and friends made since gambling does not preoccupy your time?
**** Do you tell yourself THANK YOU! for not following through with self-destruction?
**** Do you tell yourself THANK YOU! for saying YES to RECOVERY?
HAPPY AND BLESSED THANKSGIVING!!!
For more information on problem gambling recovery issues, go to www.grmumc.org
A Giving-Thanks Screen
So often, emphasis is given on assessing whether or not – or how severe – an individual’s gambling problem exists. Commonly, we hear of GA’s and Gam-Anon’s sets of Twenty Questions, the South Oaks Gambling Screen, the SOGS for Adolescents, the Significant Other Gambling Problem Severity screen, the DSM IV Diagnostic Criteria, the FCCG Screen for Older Adults, and several other assessment tools. These are important and should not be omitted when working with clients.
Still as recovery work continues, it is significant for both the client and the therapist to make note of mile markers that chart progress being made. Again, there are therapeutic tools for such purposes as well as client homework questions geared to make note of positive wellness signs.
As Thanksgiving quickly approaches, my reviewing-the-year-thoughts have started in earnest. Asking myself what progress has been made on personal goals and new year’s resolutions (made months ago), the idea to reformat a diagnostic tool into a Giving-Thanks Screen began to take shape.
Looking at GA’s Twenty Questions and several DSM IV Diagnostic Criteria prompted me to put together such a model. Prayerfully, the following questions will not only provide progress assessments but also measurable reasons for giving thanks!
1. Throughout your day, do thoughts of being thankful often come to mind?
2. Do you give thanks for the increasing amounts of money that now enter your bank account due to the fact that money is no longer spent on gambling?
3. Is your day spent in a mode of thanks-living, now that you have passed the stage of restlessness and feelings of irritability associated with unsuccessful attempts to cut back on gambling?
4. Are you thankful that you are free from the lies and excuses you have had to live by, in order to cover up gambling losses and time spent gambling?
5. Do you give thanks for the following that have improved since you no longer gamble: personal relationships, increased performance at work, and sharpened focus within educational/self-improvement pursuits.
6. Are you thankfully relieved that you are no longer trying to obtain money from persons, creditors, or other resources?
7. Thankfully, do you now experience restful sleep, fewer feelings of guilt, and increasingly, fewer arguments?
8. Do you give thanks that every time you now pay a debt, you know that you are making progress in lowering a staggering amount of debts.
9. Are you relieved and thankful that triggers to gamble do not automatically control your actions?
10. Do you feel thankful for new hobbies, interests, and friends made since gambling does not preoccupy your time?
**** Do you tell yourself THANK YOU! for not following through with self-destruction?
**** Do you tell yourself THANK YOU! for saying YES to RECOVERY?
HAPPY AND BLESSED THANKSGIVING!!!
For more information on problem gambling recovery issues, go to www.grmumc.org
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Post 20
PTSD and Addictions
Recently, I have attended three professional continuing education events wherein topics of trauma, as correlated to addiction, have been presented. Indeed, there is no rocket science required with this connection and understanding. Basically, the deeper the trauma, the deeper the impact. Then too, the longer (and more consistently experienced) the trauma, the more likely the person may experience post stress. Naturally, individuals vary in their responses to traumatic events in their lives. Again, the nature and duration of the trauma, the age and environment of the victim, and the setting of the event(s) are important considerations as to the effects of stress endured.
What is experienced that is injurious – physically, psychologically, and/or spiritually - carries an impact that may be consciously perceived right away as well as later. Sometimes, it’s later, later! Sometimes, there is experienced a need to escape from the tortures of memory. Sometimes, unhealthy coping devices develop (or become even more problematic) in order to block out images, thoughts, sounds, and even smells that mentally recycle the harmful events. Compulsive and addictive behaviors may seem to relieve these post-stresses; but unfortunately, such responses only serve to re-traumatize the person. The more severe the reaction to the trauma, the more entangled the individual can become absorbed into the pain of new traumas – addiction, compulsive behaviors, unhealthy relationships, etc., utilized to relieve the old pain.
A number of gamblers presenting for treatment, who describe gambling as a way of escape, refer to a need to forget abuses - past and/or present. They escape into the world of gambling, most often, alone. All I want to do is zone out … is frequently heard by escape gamblers. As mentioned above, the pathological gambler eventually finds himself/herself and family members re-traumatized by devastation brought on by losses to income, savings, college funds, property, jobs, and business.
Still, there is good news! There is hope and help for post-traumatic stress syndrome and also, for problem gambling. Here are some important resources:
www.nci.nim.nih.gov
www.militarymentalhealth.org
www.gamblersanonymous.org
www.ncpgambling.org
www.indianasuicidepreventioncoalition.org
www.indianaproblemgambling.org
www.ipgap.indiana.edu
For more information on problem gambling, go to www.grmumc.org
Recently, I have attended three professional continuing education events wherein topics of trauma, as correlated to addiction, have been presented. Indeed, there is no rocket science required with this connection and understanding. Basically, the deeper the trauma, the deeper the impact. Then too, the longer (and more consistently experienced) the trauma, the more likely the person may experience post stress. Naturally, individuals vary in their responses to traumatic events in their lives. Again, the nature and duration of the trauma, the age and environment of the victim, and the setting of the event(s) are important considerations as to the effects of stress endured.
What is experienced that is injurious – physically, psychologically, and/or spiritually - carries an impact that may be consciously perceived right away as well as later. Sometimes, it’s later, later! Sometimes, there is experienced a need to escape from the tortures of memory. Sometimes, unhealthy coping devices develop (or become even more problematic) in order to block out images, thoughts, sounds, and even smells that mentally recycle the harmful events. Compulsive and addictive behaviors may seem to relieve these post-stresses; but unfortunately, such responses only serve to re-traumatize the person. The more severe the reaction to the trauma, the more entangled the individual can become absorbed into the pain of new traumas – addiction, compulsive behaviors, unhealthy relationships, etc., utilized to relieve the old pain.
A number of gamblers presenting for treatment, who describe gambling as a way of escape, refer to a need to forget abuses - past and/or present. They escape into the world of gambling, most often, alone. All I want to do is zone out … is frequently heard by escape gamblers. As mentioned above, the pathological gambler eventually finds himself/herself and family members re-traumatized by devastation brought on by losses to income, savings, college funds, property, jobs, and business.
Still, there is good news! There is hope and help for post-traumatic stress syndrome and also, for problem gambling. Here are some important resources:
www.nci.nim.nih.gov
www.militarymentalhealth.org
www.gamblersanonymous.org
www.ncpgambling.org
www.indianasuicidepreventioncoalition.org
www.indianaproblemgambling.org
www.ipgap.indiana.edu
For more information on problem gambling, go to www.grmumc.org
Friday, September 2, 2011
Post 19
Find a SUPER - SPECIAL resource on the net!
“The Gambling Culture”
www.christianethics.ws
Last winter, I received a request to participate in a writing project for a nationally distributed publication. My assignment was to review three books that focused on problem gambling. I was to write with the eye of clergy and active congregational lay persons. Particularly, I enjoyed the work because much of the material covered topics that are included within many of my presentations: teen gambling, recovery groups such as Gamblers Anonymous ( www.gamblersanonymous.org ) and Gam-Anon ( www.gam-anon.org ), spirituality, and practical aspects of dealing with relapse.
The nationwide magazine, for which I wrote the reviews, is entitled Christian Reflection and is published by The Center for Christian Ethics at Baylor University. This publication comes out quarterly and each issue focuses on a central topic. All past issues are viewable online at www.christianethics.ws along with separate, downloadable Study Guides and Lesson Plans. The listing of previous focus topics is impressive with a wide range of subject matter from contemporary issues to theological discussions.
The range of topics within the current issue diversely covers the subject of gambling , providing a wide arena for thought-provoking questions and lively discussions. Take a look at the following chapter titles:
Would a Good and Faithful Disciple Gamble? **
The Hidden Social Costs of Gambling **
State Lotteries: Gambling with the Common Good **
Investment vs. Gambling **
Other Voices (a listing of resource materials about gambling)
The Gambling Culture in Art
Congregational Ministry to Problem Gamblers **
The Harm of Predatory Gambling: If Only the Bible Said …
Problem Gambling (three book reviews)
The History of Gambling
There is even a full Worship Service along with a thumbnail sketch of a sermon to be preached. Also, the hymn “Self-sufficient!” Is the Cry includes all four verses and the music.
Of particular interest is Dr. Deborah Haskins’ chapter on Congregational Ministry to Problem Gamblers. Dr. Haskins explores responses to the topic of gambling, common to faith-based communities; and then, she invites congregations to provide outreach to problem gamblers and their families. In particular, the chapter is filled with true-life (anonymously described) examples of persons struggling with compulsive gambling. This brings the basic topic of gambling addiction into focus on a it-can-happen-to-anyone level. Great discussion material!
Moreover, Dr. Haskins’ recommends and highlights Gambling Recovery Ministries as a model program for faith communities to pattern new outreach endeavors to problem gamblers and their loved ones. She writes, “This is an excellent example of a gambling recovery ministry prioritizing outreach to individuals, faith institutions, and communities.” (Christian Reflection, The Gambling Culture, “Congregational Ministry to Problem Gamblers”, p. 71, August 2011)
Then too, Dr. Haskins challenges faith communities to take the essential first step
by training clergy and persons in lay leadership positions to recognize the signs and symptoms of gambling problems, as well as to learn effective responses to those affected by compulsive gambling. Recognizing, listening, encouraging the seeking of professional help, and then journeying with problem gamblers and their families through recovery: these constitute both holistic and supportive arms to reach out to persons often misunderstood – and missed – by congregations.
Finally, I want to recommend the Study Guides and Lesson Plans found online at www.christianethics.ws Included within each Study Guide are the following: prayer, scripture, reflection, and study questions.
The Lesson Plans contain teaching goals, instructions as to format for group study, a beginning story, prayer, scripture reading, meditation, reflection, study questions, and a departing hymn. As a former teacher, I especially appreciate the carefully laid out formats and thought-provoking contents of these Guides and Plans, written by Robert B. Kruschwitz, Director of the Center for Christian Ethics at Baylor University, and Heather Hughes, Project Coordinator for Christian Ethics.
See the chapters designed for study, starred in the above chapter listing. Again, this is free and valuable material! And all downloadable!
For more information on problem gambling recovery issues and ministry to those affected by gambling addiction, go to www.grmumc.org
Find a SUPER - SPECIAL resource on the net!
“The Gambling Culture”
www.christianethics.ws
Last winter, I received a request to participate in a writing project for a nationally distributed publication. My assignment was to review three books that focused on problem gambling. I was to write with the eye of clergy and active congregational lay persons. Particularly, I enjoyed the work because much of the material covered topics that are included within many of my presentations: teen gambling, recovery groups such as Gamblers Anonymous ( www.gamblersanonymous.org ) and Gam-Anon ( www.gam-anon.org ), spirituality, and practical aspects of dealing with relapse.
The nationwide magazine, for which I wrote the reviews, is entitled Christian Reflection and is published by The Center for Christian Ethics at Baylor University. This publication comes out quarterly and each issue focuses on a central topic. All past issues are viewable online at www.christianethics.ws along with separate, downloadable Study Guides and Lesson Plans. The listing of previous focus topics is impressive with a wide range of subject matter from contemporary issues to theological discussions.
The range of topics within the current issue diversely covers the subject of gambling , providing a wide arena for thought-provoking questions and lively discussions. Take a look at the following chapter titles:
Would a Good and Faithful Disciple Gamble? **
The Hidden Social Costs of Gambling **
State Lotteries: Gambling with the Common Good **
Investment vs. Gambling **
Other Voices (a listing of resource materials about gambling)
The Gambling Culture in Art
Congregational Ministry to Problem Gamblers **
The Harm of Predatory Gambling: If Only the Bible Said …
Problem Gambling (three book reviews)
The History of Gambling
There is even a full Worship Service along with a thumbnail sketch of a sermon to be preached. Also, the hymn “Self-sufficient!” Is the Cry includes all four verses and the music.
Of particular interest is Dr. Deborah Haskins’ chapter on Congregational Ministry to Problem Gamblers. Dr. Haskins explores responses to the topic of gambling, common to faith-based communities; and then, she invites congregations to provide outreach to problem gamblers and their families. In particular, the chapter is filled with true-life (anonymously described) examples of persons struggling with compulsive gambling. This brings the basic topic of gambling addiction into focus on a it-can-happen-to-anyone level. Great discussion material!
Moreover, Dr. Haskins’ recommends and highlights Gambling Recovery Ministries as a model program for faith communities to pattern new outreach endeavors to problem gamblers and their loved ones. She writes, “This is an excellent example of a gambling recovery ministry prioritizing outreach to individuals, faith institutions, and communities.” (Christian Reflection, The Gambling Culture, “Congregational Ministry to Problem Gamblers”, p. 71, August 2011)
Then too, Dr. Haskins challenges faith communities to take the essential first step
by training clergy and persons in lay leadership positions to recognize the signs and symptoms of gambling problems, as well as to learn effective responses to those affected by compulsive gambling. Recognizing, listening, encouraging the seeking of professional help, and then journeying with problem gamblers and their families through recovery: these constitute both holistic and supportive arms to reach out to persons often misunderstood – and missed – by congregations.
Finally, I want to recommend the Study Guides and Lesson Plans found online at www.christianethics.ws Included within each Study Guide are the following: prayer, scripture, reflection, and study questions.
The Lesson Plans contain teaching goals, instructions as to format for group study, a beginning story, prayer, scripture reading, meditation, reflection, study questions, and a departing hymn. As a former teacher, I especially appreciate the carefully laid out formats and thought-provoking contents of these Guides and Plans, written by Robert B. Kruschwitz, Director of the Center for Christian Ethics at Baylor University, and Heather Hughes, Project Coordinator for Christian Ethics.
See the chapters designed for study, starred in the above chapter listing. Again, this is free and valuable material! And all downloadable!
For more information on problem gambling recovery issues and ministry to those affected by gambling addiction, go to www.grmumc.org
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Post 18
TAKING A VACATION: from addiction? from co-dependency?
Armchair Thoughts on Co-dependency
For many, July has been a month of family vacations. Camping trips, visiting the relatives, sightseeing: it’s a time to get away. Right? Well, maybe. More likely, it’s away: both yes and no. And so it has been for me. July was a time for me to be at distance from my Indiana home, filled with new sights, refreshing weather (yes, I said refreshing), and a time apart from my usual schedule. My body has said I’ve been away … but has my mind? Yes and no again. In part, the I’m-away-from-home mindset was in place. Still, I must admit that concerns about loved ones prevailed from time to time.
Often, I hear persons say comments like, “I just need to let go and let God.” Not a bad concept! However, is this admonition faithfully followed? Do our concerns/worries about others keep us preoccupied with their problems – to the point of constant focus … to the extent that our lives become overshadowed by another’s dysfunctional actions?
When I first heard the term co-dependency, quite a few years ago, I could not wrap my mind around it. Somehow, I thought co-dependency had to do with two or more persons sharing the same dependent behavior. But the situations described as such never matched my faulty understanding of this condition. Slowly, I began to realize that co-dependency is more about the reactions of the loved one to the addict than that of the addict’s dependent responses to substances and/or compulsive behaviors. And then, there’s, also, something to be said about the addict’s reactions to the loved ones’ reactions!
In other words, the loved one becomes dependent on certain responses that (s)he has acquired in his/her dealing with an individual suffering from addiction or compulsive dysfunctions. Often, it is heard that a codependent feels like life has become a journey of walking on eggshells. How will my loved one react? is a prevailing thought forever holding the non-addict in jeopardy. Will I set her off? Should I stay at home – just in case? What am I doing to cause him to drink, stay on drugs, or gamble away our household budget?
At a problem gambling conference, several years ago, I heard a presentation that has never been forgotten. In speaking about why a spouse of a gambler chose to attend the event on Super-Bowl weekend, the person told about the need to learn more about dealing with personal, healthy responses to the gambler’s behavior. Although the conference was at considerable distance from home – and filled the entire weekend – the speaker had replaced fear of what the gambler would be doing during that heavy-betting time with the priority of building personal growth.
For more information on co-dependency, check out Co-Dependents Anonymous at www.coda.org/
In addition, go to http://www.gam-anon.org// for a listing of 20 Questions to be asked of the gambler’s loved one(s).
For even more information on problem gambling, go to http://www.grmumc.org/
Armchair Thoughts on Co-dependency
For many, July has been a month of family vacations. Camping trips, visiting the relatives, sightseeing: it’s a time to get away. Right? Well, maybe. More likely, it’s away: both yes and no. And so it has been for me. July was a time for me to be at distance from my Indiana home, filled with new sights, refreshing weather (yes, I said refreshing), and a time apart from my usual schedule. My body has said I’ve been away … but has my mind? Yes and no again. In part, the I’m-away-from-home mindset was in place. Still, I must admit that concerns about loved ones prevailed from time to time.
Often, I hear persons say comments like, “I just need to let go and let God.” Not a bad concept! However, is this admonition faithfully followed? Do our concerns/worries about others keep us preoccupied with their problems – to the point of constant focus … to the extent that our lives become overshadowed by another’s dysfunctional actions?
When I first heard the term co-dependency, quite a few years ago, I could not wrap my mind around it. Somehow, I thought co-dependency had to do with two or more persons sharing the same dependent behavior. But the situations described as such never matched my faulty understanding of this condition. Slowly, I began to realize that co-dependency is more about the reactions of the loved one to the addict than that of the addict’s dependent responses to substances and/or compulsive behaviors. And then, there’s, also, something to be said about the addict’s reactions to the loved ones’ reactions!
In other words, the loved one becomes dependent on certain responses that (s)he has acquired in his/her dealing with an individual suffering from addiction or compulsive dysfunctions. Often, it is heard that a codependent feels like life has become a journey of walking on eggshells. How will my loved one react? is a prevailing thought forever holding the non-addict in jeopardy. Will I set her off? Should I stay at home – just in case? What am I doing to cause him to drink, stay on drugs, or gamble away our household budget?
At a problem gambling conference, several years ago, I heard a presentation that has never been forgotten. In speaking about why a spouse of a gambler chose to attend the event on Super-Bowl weekend, the person told about the need to learn more about dealing with personal, healthy responses to the gambler’s behavior. Although the conference was at considerable distance from home – and filled the entire weekend – the speaker had replaced fear of what the gambler would be doing during that heavy-betting time with the priority of building personal growth.
For more information on co-dependency, check out Co-Dependents Anonymous at www.coda.org/
In addition, go to http://www.gam-anon.org// for a listing of 20 Questions to be asked of the gambler’s loved one(s).
For even more information on problem gambling, go to http://www.grmumc.org/
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Post 17
FREEDOM!
What does this word mean to you? Often, we talk about celebrating freedom but does the average American citizen experience the celebrating aspect of freedom? Actually, the focus of this entry takes another look at freedom: this time with the recovery-eye view. And celebrating is truly heart-felt!
Many of my friends in recovery talk about freedom as the opposite of oppression. Their new lives, sans the active throws of addiction, no longer experience the domination of fear, explosive anger, deceit, remorse, shame, and/or blame. Preoccupation with having to gamble, ordering their days around the time of mail delivery, or creating alibis for absences at important events: all gone now ... and what a relief!
Indeed, what kinds of oppression does a compulsive gambler experience, in addition to the obvious pressure to obtain more and more money with which to gamble? Interestingly, the Twenty Questions, included within the Gamblers Anonymous Yellow Combo Book, reveal many different forms of oppression in the lives of problem and pathological gamblers.
Take a look at the below questions and see how each could keep an individual held in a personal prison of oppression.
Also, check out http://www.gam-anon.org/ for Gam-Anon, the support organization for loved ones of problem gamblers.
For more information on problem gambling and recovery issues, go to http://www.grmumc.org/
FREEDOM!
What does this word mean to you? Often, we talk about celebrating freedom but does the average American citizen experience the celebrating aspect of freedom? Actually, the focus of this entry takes another look at freedom: this time with the recovery-eye view. And celebrating is truly heart-felt!
Many of my friends in recovery talk about freedom as the opposite of oppression. Their new lives, sans the active throws of addiction, no longer experience the domination of fear, explosive anger, deceit, remorse, shame, and/or blame. Preoccupation with having to gamble, ordering their days around the time of mail delivery, or creating alibis for absences at important events: all gone now ... and what a relief!
Indeed, what kinds of oppression does a compulsive gambler experience, in addition to the obvious pressure to obtain more and more money with which to gamble? Interestingly, the Twenty Questions, included within the Gamblers Anonymous Yellow Combo Book, reveal many different forms of oppression in the lives of problem and pathological gamblers.
Take a look at the below questions and see how each could keep an individual held in a personal prison of oppression.
- Did you ever lose time from work or school due to gambling?
- Has gambling ever made your home life unhappy?
- Did gambling affect your reputation?
- Have you ever felt remorse after gambling?
- Did you ever gamble to get money with which to pay debts or otherwise solve financial difficulties?
- Did gambling cause a decrease in your ambition or efficiency?
- After losing did you feel you must return as soon as possible and win back your losses?
- After a win did you have a strong urge to return and win more?
- Did you often gamble until your last dollar was gone?
- Did you ever borrow to finance your gambling?
- Have you ever sold anything to finance gambling?
- Were you reluctant to use "gambling money" for normal expenditures?
- Did gambling make you careless of the welfare of yourself or your family?
- Did you ever gamble longer than you had planned?
- Have you ever gambled to escape worry, trouble, boredom or loneliness?
- Have you ever committed, or considered committing, an illegal act to finance gambling?
- Did gambling cause you to have difficulty in sleeping?
- Do arguments, disappointments or frustrations create within you an urge to gamble?
- Did you ever have an urge to celebrate any good fortune by a few hours of gambling?
- Have you ever considered self destruction or suicide as a result of your gambling?
NOTE!
According to GA literature, most compulsive gamblers will answer yes to at least seven of these questions.
Recovering compulsive gamblers in Gamblers Anonymous testify to new found freedom ... freedom to think clearly, to enjoy friendship and encouragement, to speak the truth without fear, to care for others and to care for themselves, and to grow spiritually.
For more information on Gamblers Anonymous go to http://www.gamblersanonymous.org/Also, check out http://www.gam-anon.org/ for Gam-Anon, the support organization for loved ones of problem gamblers.
For more information on problem gambling and recovery issues, go to http://www.grmumc.org/
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