Post 77

Defining Moments ... Defining Us

Recently, my eyes caught a headline detailing a well-known person's defining moment.  Interestingly, for a couple of days before this, I had been engaged in an ongoing conversation about defining moments that occur in everybody's life journey.  Indeed, the point was made: that most often, there are actually a number of times throughout life wherein certain key decisions are made - or not made (which, in reality, is a decision too).  

As these discussions continued, memories popped up, pointing to so many key choices I have made over the years.  Yes, some were more key than others … some were mini-key decisions - and several were of mega-proportion … and yet, they all moved me in certain directions to where I am now.  It seems, there have been a good many of these defining moments - perhaps more than for others.  However, the number in one's life is not a contest.  Rather, I believe it is how we meet key crossroads and new opportunities.   

Perhaps, it's because we are nearing the special, holy time of Christmas, my thoughts continue to review the Gospel of Luke's description of Mary's response to the angel's message.  She - a virgin - would become with child, one who would be the Savior to a dying world.  What would her reply be?  This, for sure, was the defining moment for Mary.  

What strikes me as I read Mary's answer is that she does not reply why; but instead, she asks how.   This is true wisdom.  Still, in our very own lives, do we see such wisdom?  What initial questions come to us when a key decision is to be made?  Do we ponder the why?? of the situation?  Do we look only at our own abilities alone?  Do we allow the what-ifs to reign?  Do we knee-jerk in doubt, fear, or derisive laughter?  Basically, do we define the challenge/opportunity/invitation/the calling  just by the perimeters we can see at the moment?  Do we hesitate or reject because we must see the whole picture ... the complete details ... the miles down the road? 

Instead, do we soak the decision-to-be-made in prayer?  The following are suggestions in shaping our how questions in prayer when facing those to-be defining-moments in our lives... those decisions for recovery ... and those commitments to continued recovery.

• If there are questions You want me to ask You about this potential decision, help me to be open to receiving these questions - and then, help me to ask You the questions and to ask about them 
• With whom do You want me to have prayer support concerning this potential decision?
• In approaching this decision, how do You want me to go forward initially (first step)
• How then, do I take this first step/leap of faith?
• Remind me that You grant the courage, strength, and abilities; and You empower the vision for what is to be
• How do You define me?

May this last question be your first; and may the decisions you make define your God-given potential in all areas of your life!

Blessings,

Rev. Janet Jacobs
Founding Director
Gambling Recovery Ministries 

For more information on problem gambling and recovery issues, visit www.grmumc.org, www.gamblersanonymous.org, and www.gam-anon.org   

For resources on problem gambling, go to the National Council on Problem Gambling at www.ncpgambling.org

 

 

 

 
 

 

 

    

 

"P-R-A-Y"*
 *Reverend Dr. Bill Jenkins' Pastorgraph

Post 76

Right off the bat, I want to credit Dr. Bill Jenkins for the inspiration behind this edition's topic of Prayer.  From the Christ United Methodist Ministry Center website www.christsd.com, Dr. Jenkins wrote last spring, within his weekly Pastorgraph column, a reminder of just what the activity of prayer should contain.  And yes, that's right: the activity of prayer.  In other words, to be involved in prayer is to be actively engaged in prayer.  Our mouths can recite prayers but our minds and emotions may not necessarily participate while speaking the words.  

Here - according to Dr. Jenkins - is a helpful model to follow in order to deepen one's prayer life:

"P = PAUSE"  As we pause before entering into prayer, we can remind ourselves that this is a holy time of conversation between the Divine and ourselves.  In other words, for what is about to happen within our prayer time, we need to get ready! Again, in prayer, we are entering The Holy.

"R = RESPECT"  Now we give God the credit - in great thanksgiving - for our many blessings.  Our appreciation is expressed for the small and large ... for the unnoticed and obvious alike.  Simply put, we thank God; and gratitude becomes a framework for our prayer.

"A = ASK"  We lift petitions to our Creator, our Higher Power, our God.  We ask ... for others we know and don't know; we ask without limit to size; we ask - yes - for ourselves too.  It's most important for us to know and believe that God wants to hear from us ... and  God's response will be God's response within Divine will.

"Y = YEILD"  As we wait for God's answer, we listen.  In time, as we yield and meditate, we may hear more of what to pray.  Accordingly, our praying within Divine will shall call for and, hopefully, bring forth new (and perhaps, unexpected) responses from us.  

Why this topic of prayer for November?  As I viewed Norman Rockwell's famous Thanksgiving painting depicting a tableful of jovial and happy-looking folks, his other table-setting picture came to mind.  There in the midst of onlookers sat an elder woman and young boy with heads bowed at the restaurant table.  The other patrons' expressions ranged from budding awe to simple curiosity.  This was a normal time of prayer ... regardless of an audience.  Indeed, the concept of prayer can be viewed in many ways - from a once/year blessing at Thanksgiving to a  daily pray-without-ceasing practice. 

Last week, during our American Board Clergy /Lay Ministers Certification Trainings in Lexington, I stressed we as faith leaders need to be aware of varying attitudes of prayer.  Particularly, many who are overwhelmed by gambling addiction do not feel that they are worthy of being prayed for and also, that they are not worthy of being pray-ors themselves.  It is essential that we as faith-based leaders encourage both problem gamblers and their loved ones to know that, indeed, God does care for them and again, God wants to hear from them.  The healing begins as Step 2 describes,  we "came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to a normal way of thinking and living."  

May you experience blessed thanksgivings each day of the year!    

Blessings,

Rev. Janet Jacobs
Founding Director
Gambling Recovery Ministries

For more information on problem gambling and recovery issues, visit www.grmumc.org .

For more on the Twelve Steps, go to www.gamblersanonymous.org and www.gam-anon.org .

  















   

 

Kentucky Clergy/Lay Ministers Certification Trainings in the Home Stretch ...
 

and Still On-Track!!

Post 75

First, Lexington ... second, Morehead ... next, Shepherdsville (Greater Louisville Area)

and now, back to Lexington! 

Since January, we've been stretching across the State of Kentucky with the American Board's pioneering Clergy/Lay Ministers Certification in Problem Gambling Prevention, Education, Awareness, and Spiritual Outreach Care.  The curriculum covers both clinical and spiritually-focused information; and the take-home materials are parish-friendly and ready to use.  PLUS the instruction is noteworthy and accompanied by real-life testimonies.  

And what an interesting mix of applicants for certification!  Along with parish pastors, there are racetrack chaplains, faith-based therapists and social workers, professors, lay persons involved in outreach ministries, and yes, a physician, as well.  From Western Kentucky to the Ohio River Valleys to the Appalachian Mountains, folks have travelled to take the four free training modules in the process of obtaining this specialized national certification in problem gambling . 

NEW DEVELOPMENT!!!  From National ... to International in focus!

Throughout this year, conversations, Board discussions, phone conferences, and committee work have all been leading to a new development for the American Board!  Very soon, in the coming year of 2016, the American Board (ACGCCB) will officially merge with the International Gambling Counselor Certification Board (IGCCB).  Already, announcements have been made and the excitement is clear!  With the merging of these two outstanding, professional Boards, the potential for a new and greatly expanded outreach to problem gamblers and their loved ones is obvious reality! 

 

Then too, I am very excited about this development for the Clergy/Lay Ministers Certification.  What new gateways will widen for expanded outreach?  What new doors will open?  

 

Join me, please, in praying for this coming, newly merged Board (no name yet!).  The opportunities for extending real help and hope to hurting individuals and families will be huge!  And pray too for clergypersons and lay ministers - wherever they may be - to come forth and take part in this pioneering and exciting open-to-all-faiths Certification!     

 

Once again, see below information for the upcoming November Free Trainings for all four Modules!   

 

 

Blessings,

 

Rev. Janet Jacobs

Founding Director

Gambling Recovery Ministry

www.grmumc.org

 

For more information on problem gambling and recovery issues, visit Gamblers Anonymous at www.gamblersanonymous.org  and Gam-Anon at www.gam-anon.org  

 

 

Here are the details!

NOTICE!

Modules 1, 2, 3 and 4 … Free Training Sessions during Fall 2015

ACGCCB Clergy/Lay Ministers Certification

in Problem Gambling Prevention, Education, Awareness,

and Spiritual Outreach Care

MODULE 1:  FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 6

MODULE 2:  SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 7

MODULE 3:  FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 13

MODULE 4:  SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 14

ALL SESSIONS:  9:30 AM -  4:00 PM

Location:  ST. PETER CATHOLIC CHURCH

145 Barr Street, Lexington, Kentucky

NOTES:

Registration is open.  Register at CCGNJAlice@aol.com  or call (609)588-5515 Ext. 12 

Please, indicate the Module(s) for which you are registering OR all Modules. 

Meals: Lunches will be “working lunches” within the schedule.  You may bring your own sack lunch or order (for delivery) from local restaurants.  We will have coffee and light refreshments available in the mornings.

Directions: 

St. Peter Catholic Church is located at 145 Barr St., Lexington, KY 40507   (859)252-7551

Directions to Parking Lot at Church School:  from I 75.  Exit 113 and drive west on US 27 / US 68. 

Turn left onto W. Short St.  Turn left onto N. Limestone St.  Turn right onto Pleasant Stone Street. 

Parking is located behind the school building and the Wethington Parish Center.  Access the lot from Pleasant Stone Street.  ALSO street parking, in front of the church, is free on Saturdays.  Please try to park on the street on Saturdays.

The Clergy/Lay Ministers Certification is a Program of the American Compulsive Gambling Counselors Certification Board.  This is a National Certification. For more information on this Certification, contact the American Board at CCGNJAlice@aol.com

 

 

 

 

Post 74

THE END OF RELAPSE … ?

So it’s been a journey – through relapse. 

In June (Post 71), this Blog focused on the ROOTS, or beginnings of relapse.  We took a look at the most common triggers that could steer persons off their recovery roads and dump them into the ditch of relapse.  A play on words HALT both cautioned and defined.  Halt the edgy feelings and temptations that come with Hunger, Anger, Loneliness, and Tiredness.

August’s Blog (Post 73) explored further roots as described by both recovering compulsive gamblers and their loved ones.  These down-to-earth practitioners in recovery agreed: the presented information described relapse beginnings as the basic lessening of one’s recovery work. Once again from Post 73,  relapse as they defined it, “has its beginning when recovery work lags and those personal, individual weaknesses gain in their self-defeating efforts ... so much so that the return to a condition of illness aptly describes the full spectrum of relapse – right from the start!”

So is there an end to relapse?   Hopefully, yes ... a healthy one.

Naturally, the goal to wellness would be to climb out of the ditch and continue traveling  the road of recovery.  Moreover – and of course - avoiding future ventures in relapse maintains recovery and deepens individual growth toward maturity and wellness.

For September’s edition, I want to highlight ideas and suggestions to maintain recovery and to keep from relapsing.  The following comes from the experts in recovery: GA and Gam-Anon. 

Highlights from Maintaining Abstinence from Gambling ( www.gamblersanonymous.org)

·         Make recovery support groups (GA) a vital part of your life … something you are doing for yourself!  Participate in the group discussions (therapy).

·         Keep in contact (telephone, etc.) with fellow members of your support group … all need encouragement!

·         Individual character defects and daily problems need to be addressed regularly

·         Keep the stop sign on-guard against gambling thoughts and be diligent about this!

 Several questions and thoughts from Twenty Survival Questions for Gamblers Anonymous Members  (for more questions, go to  www.gamblersanonymous.org )

·         Do you “continue to seek the help of a power greater than yourself in trying to maintain a normal way of thinking and living?”

·         Do you “continue to be aware that your gambling compulsion is only ‘arrested’ not ‘cured’?”

·         Do you “continue not to tempt or test yourself by not associating with people who gamble and not going in or near gambling establishments …?”

For loved ones of problem gamblers, here are some questions from Gam-Anon’s The Second Twenty Questions  (for more questions, visit www.gam-anon.org )

·         “Have you ‘let go of people’ and things you cannot control?”

·         “Are you aware of your feelings and can you express them?”

·         “Are you focusing on your priorities?”

·         “Do you have dreams, aspirations, and a sense of humor?”

Another helpful resource from Gam-Anon is the “Moral Self-Inventory” (Watch For; Work Towards; Strive For).  You can obtain this Worksheet by contacting Gam-Anon International Service Office – see above website.  Note: this is a very good resource for both problem gamblers and their loved ones.

Blessings,

Rev. Janet Jacobs

Founding Director

 Gambling Recovery Ministries

www.grmumc.org

FINALLY, RE-CHECK POST 72

 and THE NOTICE ABOUT THE UPCOMING TRAINING

 FOR THECLERGY/LAY MINISTERS CERTIFICATION!

NOTICE!  REGISTRATION IS NOW OPEN!!

 

Modules 1, 2, 3 and 4 … Free Training Sessions during Fall 2015

 

 

ACGCCB Clergy/Lay Ministers Certification

 

in Problem Gambling Prevention, Education, Awareness,

 

and Spiritual Outreach Care

 

MODULE 1:  FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 6

 

MODULE 2:  SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 7

 

MODULE 3:  FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 13

 

MODULE 4:  SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 14

 

ALL SESSIONS:  9:30 AM -  4:00 PM

 

Location:  ST. PETER CATHOLIC CHURCH

 

145 Barr Street, Lexington, Kentucky

 

(SEE MORE DETAILS OF THESE FREE TRAININGS 

IN GRM BLOG  AUGUST  POST 72)

 

 

 

 

Post 73

RELAPSE: What Are the Roots? (Part 2 of Relapse Series)

In July, I had the privilege of conducting a workshop on the topic of Relapse to members of the recovering community.  The presentation was entitled “Rooting Out Relapse: It’s an Equal Opportunity” … equal opportunity since both recovering dependents and codependents were in the audience.   The invitation was for me to address those recovering from addiction as well as their family members and friends. 

Commonly held is the notion that relapse occurs only to persons who have “fallen off the wagon” of sobriety.  At the same time, there is sound truth undergirding the call for loved ones to work on their own recoveries – that is, recovery from actions and attitudes that encourage and build on their own dependent  responses to the addict’s behaviors.  How then do I speak to both sides?

To be sure, the hour was one filled with fascinating engagement by the attendees.  From the very first participation-question, it was obvious that this group knew the topic well – both sides!  To the invitation to define “relapse”, the audience was off and running … and was I surprised!  Instead of Webster definitions (which I had anticipated), responses came describing personal situations that would encourage or provoke relapse: the classic HALT conditions (hungry, angry, lonely, tired), boredom and not enough constructive leisure activities, dropping out of support meetings and/or therapy sessions, and even holidays and vacations.  Surrounding each “definition” were many, many related individual situations.  The participants were already in the midst of the essential recognition of when relapse begins!   

As one description of the beginning phase of relapse has it: the earliest stage of relapse occurs when those personal weakening circumstances begin to enter back into the life of the individual going through recovery. In other words, relapse can begin when the recovery work starts to bog down … when the strengthening, therapeutic (and healthy) strongholds begin to be ignored, minimized, or neglected.  And here is where it gets interesting: the individual is not even thinking about THE behavior (the addictive or codependent behavior), at this point.  There are no active triggers/urges being recognized or felt ...yet.  Instead, what is significant here is that there is a change in the recovery-lifestyle … and those personal conditions are starting to set up the slippery slope(s) which, in turn, could soon usher the individual back into a life of using/ abuse/ addiction/ codependency.

Once the recovery-lifestyle begins to slip, that’s when the slippery slope starts to form.  Something viewed, heard, or smelled nudges a thought … one that would have been responded to in a recovery-minded manner.  This time, however, the individual circumstances – and subsequently, the lessoning of the recovery reins – present memories of bygone times when the old, dysfunctional behavior was firmly in place.   Old friends associated with the former life may make re-entry … and more memories come.  Or a person opens the door (once again) to fear, fault-finding, and waning self-confidence … and the slope’s ride races toward ever-present suspicion and preoccupation of worries.

Taking a step toward that slope, the thoughts gather – and cluster with more thoughts.  The person becomes increasingly vulnerable, particularly since the recovery-defenses have been loosening, or worse, crumbling.  Though the actions may not have occurred, yet, it is most likely, now, that the mind has relapsed (or is on the verge of relapsing). 

Then the opportunity comes.  The mind is willing and the rest of the body responds.  The recovery-guards are off-duty: relapse!  How could this “suddenly” happen?  And still, as described above, the process of relapse had already developed.  The action was a response to what had been occurring – especially when the recovery-life was not firmly in place.  

The workshop attendees had it right: “relapse” as they defined it, has its beginning when recovery work lags and those personal, individual weaknesses gain in their self-defeating efforts ... so much so that the return to a condition of illness aptly describes the full spectrum of relapse – right from the start!   

Blessings,

 

Rev. Janet Jacobs

Founding Director

Gambling Recovery Ministries

For more information on problem gambling and the process of recovery, go to  Gamblers Anonymous at www.gamblersanonymous.org  and Gam-Anon at www.gam-anon.org

Visit: a resource for women gamblers, www.femalegamblers.info

Other helpful resources:

www.indianaproblemgambling.org   

www.kycpg.org  

www.ipgapindiana.edu  

www.calpg.org   

www.christsd.com  

http://myfount.com/stream.aspx?idx=506        

www.ncpgambling.org  

 

Post 72

CLERGY/LAY MINISTER CERTIFICATION, FIRST-AIDERS, FIRST RESPONDERS

I received an interesting e-mail recently.  The sender had participated in a two year international project to design training guidelines for nonclinical persons who could, thereby, stand in the gap between treatment professionals and those affected (directly and indirectly) by gambling addiction. The “first-aiders” would receive training on the dynamics of compulsive gambling and the issues faced – and anticipated – during the process of recovery.

It was fascinating material!  Fascinating and confirming that the new Clergy/Lay Ministers Certification from the American Compulsive Gambling Counselor Certification Board is on-track with professionals of international status, and also members of the recovering community.  Below is a listing of the American Board’s Clergy/Lay Ministers Training Topics – many of which are, also, expectations of the guidelines for a “first-aiders” training program:

Motivations for Gambling, Risk Factors, Signs and Symptoms of a Gambling Problem, How to Address a Gambling Problem, Professional Help: What to Expect, Navigating Financial Issues, Responding to the Problem Gambler and Supporting Change, The Family Members’ Responses and Steps for Their Recovery, Spiritual Issues and Care of the Gambler and the Family.

 With this said, I am very pleased to announce the American Board’s next Training Sessions for the Clergy/Lay Ministers Certification … coming up in November!

Here are the details!

NOTICE!

Modules 1, 2, 3 and 4 … Free Training Sessions during Fall 2015

ACGCCB Clergy/Lay Ministers Certification

in Problem Gambling Prevention, Education, Awareness,

and Spiritual Outreach Care

MODULE 1:  FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 6

MODULE 2:  SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 7

MODULE 3:  FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 13

MODULE 4:  SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 14

ALL SESSIONS:  9:30 AM -  4:00 PM

Location:  ST. PETER CATHOLIC CHURCH

145 Barr Street, Lexington, Kentucky

NOTES:

Registration is open.  Register at CCGNJAlice@aol.com

Please, indicate the Module(s) for which you are registering OR all Modules. 

Meals: Lunches will be “working lunches” within the schedule.  You may bring your own sack lunch or order (for delivery) from local restaurants.  We will have coffee and light refreshments available in the mornings.

Directions: 

St. Peter Catholic Church is located at 145 Barr St., Lexington, KY 40507   (859)252-7551

Directions to Parking Lot at Church School:  from I 75.  Exit 113 and drive west on US 27 / US 68. 

Turn left onto W. Short St.  Turn left onto N. Limestone St.  Turn right onto Pleasant Stone Street. 

Parking is located behind the school building and the Wethington Parish Center.  Access the lot from Pleasant Stone Street.  ALSO street parking, in front of the church, is free on Saturdays.  Please try to park on the street on Saturdays.

The Clergy/Lay Ministers Certification is a Program of the American Compulsive Gambling Counselors Certification Board.  This is a National Certification. For more information on this Certification, contact the American Board at CCGNJAlice@aol.com

 

Blessings,

 

Rev. Janet Jacobs

Founding Director

Gambling Recovery Ministry

www.grmumc.org

 

For more information on problem gambling and recovery issues, visit Gamblers Anonymous at www.gamblersanonymous.org  and Gam-Anon at www.gam-anon.org