Post
113
KEEPING UP WITH
RECOVERY
As New Year 2019 rolled in, e-ads blasted the net,
reminding me of self-care ways to greet the coming 365 days. There were multiple tips for taking control -
and even cautions about resolutions that could become overwhelming. As I
scrolled through, a particularly helpful workshop at the 2018 Indiana Fall
Symposium on Problem Gambling came to mind.
Focusing on recovery, husband and wife, Bob and Sherrie, shared their respective
Gamblers Anonymous and Gam-Anon journeys of lessons-learned in combatting and growing through compulsive gambling
issues. First-hand experiences are
always good learning materials; and so I extended the invitation to share.
Our guest author of January’s Post, Bob H. is a 1975 graduate of the University of
Toledo with double Bachelor of Arts degrees in Communications and English
Literature and a 1978 graduate of Trinity Lutheran Seminary, receiving a Master
of Arts in Religious Studies. He has
previously worked as pastoral assistant at First St. John Lutheran Church in
Toledo, Ohio, with duties of preaching, visiting, teaching, leading, and
facilitating many ministry programs. At
First St. John Lutheran Church, he also serves on the Board of Elders and is
chairman of the Call Committee.
Currently, Bob serves as the archivist/museum center curator of
Genacross Lutheran Services in Toledo.
Bob has traveled on his recovery journey since November 10, 1999. He has been a member of Gamblers Anonymous
for almost nineteen years. Since that
time, he has participated in over forty GA Mini-Conferences, conducting various
workshops on recovery issues, communications, and growing in spirituality. Recently, he also completed training as an
authorized lay leader in counseling compulsive gamblers. Moreover, Bob is credentialed with the International Gambling Counselor Certification
Board’s Clergy/Lay Minister Certification.
NOTICE! Bob and Sherrie will be our Keynote Speakers for the Clergy/Lay Minister Certification Workshop on Thursday, January 31 at 10:00 AM - a special Pre-Conference Session of the Kentucky Council on Problem Gambling Annual Educational & Awareness Conference, Clarion Hotel, Lexington KY I75 at Newtown Pike(Conference Information 502-223-1823)
NOTICE! Bob and Sherrie will be our Keynote Speakers for the Clergy/Lay Minister Certification Workshop on Thursday, January 31 at 10:00 AM - a special Pre-Conference Session of the Kentucky Council on Problem Gambling Annual Educational & Awareness Conference, Clarion Hotel, Lexington KY I75 at Newtown Pike(Conference Information 502-223-1823)
Welcome,
Bob, to the GRM Blog!
How to Keep Your
Recovery Going and Growing by Bob H.
Hi. My name is Bob H. and I am a compulsive
gambler. I placed my last bet on May 2,
2014. I would like to share with you my recovery story, and how I keep from
making that next bet. I first found the
rooms of recovery with the help of my wife, and my therapist on November 10,
1999. Prior to that date, my life was in
shambles, and spiraling out of control due to an obsession to gambling.
I
was living the American dream. At least, I thought so. My wife and I had wonderful jobs, and we
lived in a three-bedroom ranch style home off the 14th hole, in the
country with two beautiful daughters, three cats, a dog, and longed for peace
and quiet. But instead of feeling
grateful for my many blessings; and instead of feeling contented, I wanted
more. I wanted to pay off the house;
fund our children’s college educations in advance; buy new cars every year; and
take vacations to Disney World every March.
So to speed up the process, I started to gamble.
I entered the world of gambling through the
commodities markets. Of course, I had a
commodities broker who would steer me in the right direction and increase my
bankroll exponentially, much like Hillary Clinton who turned a $1,000 portfolio
into a six-figure profit. There was one
small problem. My broker, or “bookie”,
was getting a 40% sales commission on each trade. So I had to make at least 40% on the trade
just to break even. Sugar was the big
mover in the mid-1990s. Unfortunately
for me, it was moving in the wrong direction.
My commodities investment career was short-lived; and soon my
commodities account was closed due to lack of funds. Lesson
learned? Not quite.
Commodity investing was not for me. I thought different gambling venues might
work out better. So I tried penny
stocks, mutual funds, municipal bonds, tax-sheltered annuities. In desperation, I tried illegal pyramid and
Ponzi schemes. All the while, I kept
losing; and I kept feeling depressed about life. So I started seeing a psychologist. On-line sports betting was in its
infancy. So I tried that. But my bankroll kept getting smaller. My depression worsened. Refinancing our dream home in the country
bought me some more time but the gambling continued.
Finally, I confessed to my wife and my therapist
that I needed help to stop this freefall of irresponsible and uncontrolled
gambling. I called the local Gamblers Anonymous
Hotline and talked to the GA operator; and on November 10, 1999, I walked
through the doors of twelve-step recovery.
My
first meeting was in a church. I was
scared, depressed, and lonely. I answered the 20 Questions – No to thirteen of them; and I lied about five
more. It was there I found people who
had the same addiction as me, the same financial issues as me, and the same hopefulness that I was
yearning to feel. That night I
learned that I was powerless over gambling and that my life was unmanageable.
From that date on, except for a relapse on May 27,
2014, I have been gambling-free and living life in recovery. So you may ask what keeps me abstinent and in
recovery for over four years. I cannot
begin to share what others have done to quit gambling. But I can share with you things that I have
done to stay stopped or abstinent.
Seven Ways to Keep
Going and Growing
1. Find
12 Step GA Meetings in your area and attend a minimum of two meetings a week.
If you have to travel to find a meeting, so be it. You travelled to gamble, didn’t you?
2. Become
part of the fellowship of GA. Attend pinnings, mini-conferences, and
periodically go out to breakfast, lunch, or dinner with fellow GA members.
3. Get
a sponsor. It helps to have someone in
the GA program that can support you on a one-on-one basis, and guide you
through the 12 steps of recovery.
4.
Keep in contact with other GA
members throughout the week either through phone or e-mail. Talking with fellow GA members gives you a feeling of belonging and
compassion.
5.
Get in touch with a Higher
Power. It doesn’t have to be God. Your Higher Power can be a GA room, another
GA member, a minister, or a friend. Belief in a High Power is essential in
bringing your recovery to an inner spiritual level.
6. Pass
it on. When new members come to a
meeting, welcome them, and feel their pain.
You were there once, remember?
7. Live life one day at a time. Don’t try to solve all your problems in one
fell swoop. And above all, be
patient. Recovery is a marathon, not a
sprint! And enjoying your recovery journey
is the key to happiness, success, and serenity.
Thank you, Bob, for
sharing both your challenges and joys in recovery!
May each of the 300-plus days to
come find you uniquely experiencing this new year,
one-day-at-a-time!
Blessings,
Rev. Janet Jacobs, CCGSO
Founding Director
Gambling Recovery
Ministries
For
more information on problem gambling and recovery issues, visit:
