Post
117
MEMORIES
OF CARE
Step
3: Made a decision to turn our will and
our lives over to the care of this [Higher]
Power of our own understanding
Already, Memorial Day Weekend is upon us! Yes, it lands on the calendar a bit earlier
than usual this month - but the days have raced by, it seems, since May
Day. I have fond memories of past Mays … all having
to do with memorializing persons we
have known and loved. On Mother’s Day
Sundays, we would each wear a flower in honor of our moms. My dad would wear a shoot of Lily of the
Valley: white to indicate she had passed on.
Mother would wear a little sprig of lilacs (for red) since Grandma was
still living. We kids would wear lilacs
too. Later came Memorial Day and there
was always a picnic to celebrate my parents’ wedding anniversary. We loved those rides out to a county park in
the countryside; and there was usually a makeshift family game of baseball to
top off the celebration.
Memories are powerful … and indeed, they can shape
our lives – for the better, or not. Definitely, there are recollections that
recreate triggers thus placing us in vulnerable inner-states of being that
potentially can bring us harm. Truly,
recovery is continuously being aware of situations that could spawn such
triggers. However, for this month’s entry,
I want to focus on the benefits of the recollections that strengthen our spirits and enhance our
recoveries.
Often when persons share with me beautifully
bolstering happenings in their lives, I always suggest, “Put this in your
mental file box to take out on those days when discouragement or anger prevail.
We need the upholding care of these
memories!”
Here are a few from my past: my grandmother’s cheerful attention, a
squeeze of the hand after my mother died, two parishioner’s impromptu visit on
9/11 morning, knowing our daughter was in NYC, my younger brother’s mentoring just before I first
presented at a national conference, a
student’s quote: I asked for you because
I knew I’d learn …
Then there are memories about those wondrous
happenings that we know that we know
are evidences of our Higher Power’s personal care. A friend in long-time recovery spoke about
divine caring in reference to Step 3: Made a decision to turn our will
and our lives over to the care of this [Higher]
Power of our own understanding. He emphasized that this Higher Power’s CARE is not only one of
affection
as in I care for you; but also, this divine care deeply takes care of the individual’s
life. As the person turns his/her will and life over to the care of the
Higher Power of his/her own understanding, the details of life become cared for! And yes, the individual’s will comes
under the care of the Higher Power, as well.
This is immense! Everything within and about the person can be
cared for by one’s Higher Power.
As a testimony to this individual care, I offer a
special happening of divine providence out of my own life. I have preached with this as a promising
illustration … but have not shared it before on the internet. It is one that undergirds and assures me
during troubled and sad times.
Years ago, my mother took ill. Normally a healthy person, she came down with
a particularly, life-threatening strain of upper respiratory flu. It weakened her and attacked her heart. She died unexpectedly. I still remember Dad’s words when he called
to tell me. To say that it was a very
sad time would be an understatement. Mom
was a best-friend to me … understanding, loving, cheerful, and caring. I missed those phone calls, letters, and just
being with her. Grief hit hard – and stayed.
Without warning, doubting thoughts began
to pervade my faith: Where is she?
Will I ever see her again? Why am
I having these questions? My strong,
personal faith gives me the answers … but why the doubts?
Months passed and the grief-waves would come and go
and return again. I couldn’t shake
it. Then on vacation, something
happened. We were camping in a gorgeous
mountain lake area. Still, the sunny
afternoon and beauty of the sandy beach did not bring cheer. I sat apart from husband and children … pondering
and hurting. I prayed, yet again, God, where is Mom … is she ok? Suddenly, daughter yelled, “Mom, I found something!”
Her hand was digging deep, deep down
into the sand. I called back, “Be
careful; it might be a stick with thorns.” She
pulled out her sand-crusted arm and ran to me holding something small. Thrusting her hand out to me, I saw a silver
cross … tarnished and worn with a broken loop where a chain would have been. It was at that moment, I knew the answer to my question … and the pervading, personal care of my Higher Power.
The Call to ministry came four years later; and memories
of this experience bolstered me to reassure parishioners with questions and
doubts. Moreover, there is an
interesting postscript!
Several years afterward, a very close friend and her husband were
transferred, unexpectedly, to Thailand.
Even more unexpectedly, my
friend became involved in prison ministry, specifically, to drug dealers from overseas. Upon release after serving their
terms of captivity, these men would then be deported back to their home country. My friend visited and ministered to them
steadily and they became strong in faith and prayer. She shared with them my cross-in-the-sand story and it warmed their hearts.
Often she heard their question: Did
she really find a cross in the sand?
My friend has been back in the States for decades
now; and I wonder how many times – and where - has this affirmation of God’s divine
care been told?
May you experience the strength and peace of Step 3!
Blessings,
Rev. Janet Jacobs, CCGSO
Founding
Director
Gambling
Recovery Ministries
https://
www.grmumc.org
For
more information on problem gambling, recovery issues, and the IGCCB Clergy/Lay
Minister Certification visit:
SPECIAL
NOTE: May is Mental Health Awareness
Month: for more information go to:
