Post 34

An Era of Tragedy

As I write December’s entry, I am shocked and saddened – yet again - over the loss of innocent lives by willful violence.  Yesterday’s tragedy reminds us that safety can be threatened throughout a very broad spectrum.  The loss of life obviously indicates that   

physically persons were endangered.  Emotionally, the survivors of the Connecticut school killing remain, undoubtedly, in harm’s way.  I think that I can safely say that post-trauma effects will need to be monitored carefully and continuously.  Spiritually, there will be questions in all of this – for a long time.

I am in hopes that all three aspects of how persons are impacted after such tragedies can and will be addressed.  A total balance of care is called for as the post-event processing is administered.

How will this era of tragedy cease to occur?  On a nationwide radio call-in, yesterday, the topic centered on sacrificial care and giving.  The announcer repeatedly commented that in the face of such violence, the void that results must be filled with the good.  That is, as an essential counter to unthinkable tragedies, the good - which, otherwise, occurs  throughout all corners of our country (and the world) must be heard! 

Today, I received in the mail a Christmas newsletter from a mission in Ecuador.  In it, I found special wording that I would like to share.  The essence of this message speaks to the original and true meaning of Christmas.  Particularly, in the light of so many tragedies that break into human lives, I offer these words: 

When the song of the angels is stilled

When the star in the sky is gone

When the kings and princes are home

When the shepherds are back with their flocks

The work of Christmas begins:

To find the lost …

To heal the broken …

To feed the hungry …

To release the prisoner …

To rebuild the nations …

To bring peace among brothers and sisters …

To make music IN THE HEART!

(from the Working Boys’ Center Family of Families Newsletter, Quito, Ecuador)

May you experience, wondrously, God-blessed peace and strength for the challenges you may face in the coming days and years.

Blessings,

Rev. Janet Jacobs

Founding Director, Gambling Recovery Ministries    

For more information of problem gambling and recovery issues, visit www.grmumc.org

  

Post 33

Youth Gambling: Why the BIG DEAL?

At the Statewide New Jersey Council on Problem Gambling 2012 Annual Conference, in October, keynote speaker Keith Whyte, Executive Director of the National Council on Problem Gambling, highlighted a number of predictions for the next five years.  Listing as a primary concern, Whyte spoke of the growing trend toward State-by-State acceptance of legalized online gambling.  Several States have already accomplished this; and I wonder if Indiana is leaning this way too.

For sure, here in the Hoosier State, changes are coming. This morning, I read that - beginning February 2013 - our Indiana State Lottery will become privatized in management.   No longer will the lottery be mechanized by our State Government.  Undoubtedly, there will be innovations and the public eye will see some noticeable differences. Moreover, Indiana will be only the second State in the Union to place a statewide lottery system under private ownership.

But legalized online gambling here in Indiana?  Not yet … and not quite.  Keith Whyte did describe, however, an online activity that is not actually gambling.  Games are played – for free – but extra virtual equipment can be purchased as supplemental game pieces.  Whyte cited that the amount of revenue from Facebook social games is $5 billion.  Now, that’s a big deal!

Revisiting the California Council on Problem Gambling website [www.calproblemgambling.org/consequences-of-youth-gambling], several facts on gambling by young (and very young, at that) people underscored big-time potential dangers.  Below is information cited within the California Council’s website.

     In Louisiana, adolescents in juvenile detention are roughly four times more likely to have a serious gambling problem than their peers,² and Delaware and other states have found that adolescent pathological gambling is associated with alcohol and drug use, truancy, low grades, problematic gambling in parents, and illegal activities to finance gambling.
A survey of 8th graders in 2002 found the following troubling connections. Those students that reported gambling were:

• Over 50% more likely to drink alcohol
• More than twice as likely to binge drink
• More than three times as likely to use marijuana
• Three times as likely to use other illegal drugs
• Almost three times as likely to get in trouble with the police
• Three times as likely to be involved in a gang fight
• Almost three times as likely to steal or shoplift

http://www.calproblemgambling.org/consequences-of-youth-gambling/

Given that teens often have strong needs to fit in and be accepted by their peers, it may be difficult for some to resist social opportunities wherein gambling (and yes, underage gambling is illegal) is a common activity.  This month’s GRM Blog includes a listing of ways that will provide replies/responses for young people to give when offered the chance to gamble.

For more information about the dangers of online gambling, go to 

http://www.ncpgambling.org/i4a/headlines/headlinedetails.cfm?id=937

 

For additional information on problem gambling and teens, visit www.grmumc.org

 

Blessings,

Rev. Janet Jacobs

Founding Director, Gambling Recovery Ministries

WORKSHEET

Say NO to Gambling: 8 Ready Comebacks

(Adapted for teens facing gambling opportunities: original source addresses young people and alcohol use:  www.asklistenlearn.com)

Below are instant comebacks to say when invited/pressured to gamble.  Tailor-make your own statements in the spaces provided.

1. I’m not a follower. I’m a leader — and I’m saying NO.

2. That’s not my style.

3. No way. That’s not for me.

4. I’m not a gambler. I’m a thinker

5. Sorry, but gambling is not good for my brain.

7. I’m way too cool for that stuff.

8. Write your own reason here: ______________________

    Be creative: use all or parts of the above responses.  

    Most of all: be comfortable with your own comebacks!!

Post 32

The New Gateway?  vs The New Gateway. 

When Gambling Recovery Ministries was born in 2001, I made it a priority to plug into professional continuing education events.  Not only does my ministry appointment require a certain number of CEUs per year, but also, I have found it essential to keep current in this new mental health field of problem gambling recovery.  

Early on, workshops on teen gambling caught my attention.  Having experienced 13+ years of youth ministry prior to serving as parish pastor, I was fascinated by the topic.  Often, the presenters would comment that gambling, most probably, would turn out to be a phase like any other teen-age fetish – and that, again, any problems with gambling would be outgrown.  I remember challenging those remarks during Q & A times: how can you say this, so assuredly, without the benefit of long-standing research? 

  

Then too, there was an intriguing workshop that posed the question: Gambling: the Gateway [behavior] to Drugs?    The presenter brought forth compelling information about teen involvement in gambling.  Indeed, the possibility of connecting teen gambling with subsequent and/or co-occurring substance abuse was worthy of strong attention.  

So I’ve made it a point to keep an eye on the topic of teen gambling.  Over the years, this subject has increasingly gained the attention of the therapeutic community.  Immediate accessibility to both the internet and interpersonal communication has created a world of instant-talk AND instant-bet.  Adults are not the only ones using smartphones’ services to the net – and to the gambling sites. 

Moreover, a number of teens find other ways to place bets through our social media’s latest venues - on a vast variety of contests you would never believe.

So, now, where are we in 2012?  Last week, during the IN-ARMS/Mid-Central Conference on Problem Gambling, I heard the words sans question mark:  for pre-teens and teens, gambling is the gateway.  Period.  No question mark: gambling for these young people opens the gate to high risk behaviors.  Let’s say it again: marijuana is no longer the gateway … it’s gambling.

Going home, I remembered the years-ago workshop that posed the “gateway” question.  Could I find another source to back up this statement? 

 It didn't take long!  

From the California Council on Problem Gambling website -    http://www.calproblemgambling.org/consequences-of-youth-gambling/

I read, But gambling is a serious addiction, and the effects can be every bit as devastating (both to the gambler and their family) as drugs or alcohol. What’s more, gambling is often a “gateway” to other high-risk behaviors.  For example, multiple studies performed in the year 2000 indicated that youth’s gambling in the U.S. often preceded use of cigarettes, hard liquor and marijuana.

In addition, the California Council’s website shares the following: According to the American Psychiatric Association (APA), as many as 15% of young people asked have significant gambling problems, and 6% of teens who have gambled have become pathological gamblers.

For more information on teen gambling, visit the following sites:

http://www.800gambler.org/Informational%20Material/A%20Concern%20For%20Parents.pdf

http://www.800gambler.org/Informational%20Material/Adolescent%20Brochure.pdf

http://www.800gambler.org/GAW/2012/High%20School%20Gambling%20Fact%20Sheet.pdf

http://gamblinghelp.org/media/.download_gallery/Gambling%20Among%20Florida%20Middle%20and%20High%20School%20Students.pdf

http://www.springerlink.com/content/l1462m8158t3318n/

http://www.grmumc.org/pagesroot/pages/TypesTeen.aspx?LinkLevel1Id=17&LinkLevel2Id=36

Next month, this blog will continue the topic of teen gambling, along with a GRM Blog  Work Sheet for Teens: How You Can Say No to Gambling.

For further information on problem gambling and recovery issues, go to www.grmumc.org

 

Blessings,

Rev. Janet Jacobs
Director, Gambling Recovery Ministries 

Post 31

WORKSHEET:  FACING RECOVERY FROM THE BEGINNING

Perhaps, during this month of September, you have heard more about the topic of recovery than any other time of the year.  Across the country, National Recovery Month has been observed in many ways: magazines articles on the topic of mental health research; recovery programs’  PR campaigns; and support groups picnics, rides, and other social events.  The message is heard repeatedly: celebrate new life in recovery!  “Before” and “after” stories are told – and celebrated all over again.  It is a wonderful reminder to the public – and the hurting – that there is HOPE and HELP in recovery … and it’s worth national attention each year.

Recently, I came across understanding words about gambling addiction and recovery that need to be heard by those seeking recovery from compulsive gambling:

Gambling addiction is a mask for many things that are wrong in your life.   … When you stop gambling, you begin to face life again … [and welcome] reality in your life again.

To celebrate the topic of Recovery, this month’s Blog features another GRM Worksheet addressing those aspects of reality that one eventually faces when entering personal recovery.  The worksheet’s inspiration comes from a quote written to me by a friend: God meets you where you are BUT He does not leave you there.  In other words, recovery implies AND requires change. 

Over the coming months, this Blog will include a series of worksheets on providing a suggested basic structure that will help to frame a day’s length for personal recovery.  The below worksheet - with checkpoints to follow for the individual seeking change -  is the first in the series … starting the day with a GOOD morning!

Blessings,

Rev. Janet Jacobs

Director, Gambling Recovery Ministries

Worksheet:

Facing Recovery: A GOOD Morning CHECKLIST

HAVE A GOOD MORNING!

·        Set a regular time to awake

·        Smile and Pray

·        Regular meal.  Remember the importance of water to drink.

·        Set regular times for any medications.

·        Groom and dress

·        Smile and pray (or recite/read scripture/ devotional reading) again

·        Leave for work on time (ten minutes ahead of time might be better!)

·        OR complete a single, simple chore/project at home, right away. (Once completed, plan the rest of your day: specific goals, appropriate in size, for your particular day’s schedule).

·        Smile and pray. (You’re getting the idea!)

·        Begin your list of planned projects/activities for the day.  Be realistic.  Pace yourself as you work.

·        Be thankful for any and all work done! 

For more information on problem gambling and recovery issues, visit www.grmumc.org 

Post 30

What Do You Know about Teen Gambling:  Myths & Facts 

I can’t believe it … in some communities, the school bells are already ringing.  More and more, this month of August marks the beginning of the “Fall” Semester.  Young people are headed back to the classrooms, homework, school sports … and playground / locker bay / cafeteria / parking lot (etc.) gambling.  Really?  Sadly, the answer – for a number of students – is yes.  And yes, gambling for minors is, indeed, illegal.  

Moreover, many adults (including parents) brush off or minimize concern about teen gambling.  It’s just fun;  another way to socialize;  at least, they’re not driving and drinking;  the jackpots are only pocket money; … not my kid!

So what do we really know about gambling?    The following myths are commonly heard remarks  – often spoken by teenagers – and younger children.  The facts address these thoughts / beliefs – and are true statements.  Parents, teachers, coaches, counselors, and school administrators: help your young people to cut through the magical thinking often related to problem gambling!  

From McGill University at www.youthgambling.com , here are the myths and facts!

Myth:  If you are a lucky person in life, you will be a lucky gambler.

Fact:  Many people who gamble believe they are lucky.  However, they still lose money.  Good luck charms or praying cannot influence the result of gambling activities.

Myth:  It does not matter if you lose because – eventually – if you keep gambling, you will earn back your money.

Fact:  Over time, you will lose more and more money – even if there are occasional wins.

Myth:  If you keep track of previous results, you can predict the outcome of the next gambling play.

Fact:  The nature of gambling is that every gambling event is independent of previous ones.  In other words, when a person rolls the dice, the next roll is entirely unrelated.

Myth:  When you know the rules of the game, you increase your chances of winning.

Fact:  Knowing the rules can be beneficial – to some extent.  However, the odds are always stacked against you.  ALSO, you have no control over what cards are being dealt.

Myth:  If you are good at video games, then you’ll be good at VLT (video lottery terminal) machines.

Fact:  It does require skill to succeed at video games.  The more you play, the better you may become.  However, playing VLTs does not require skill.  The results are entirely random and you cannot influence the outcome of a VLT game!

BE AWARE and BE KNOWLEGEABLE: 

In Indiana, statistics show that 8% of adolescents, 12 to 17 years old, can be considered problem gamblers.  Further, approximately 15% of youths were considered to be at risk of developing problems with gambling.  www.ipgap.indiana.edu

Children as young as 9 years of age are gambling – and are at risk for developing gambling addiction.  Compared to substance abuse, gambling is often an invisible activity.  Likely, a young person may receive many loans from family and friends before it is realized that there is a gambling problem.

For more information on teen gambling, visit the following websites across the country:

www.indianaproblemgambling.org

www.ipgap.indiana.edu

 www.kycpg.org

www.800gambler.org

www.oregoncpg.com

www.gamblinghelp.org

www.ccpg.org

www.wi-problemgamblers.org

www.ncpgambling.org

For further information on teen gambling, go to www.grmumc.org  

Blessings,

Rev. Janet Jacobs

Director, Gambling Recovery Ministries

Post 29

The Freedom of  RE-Covering

My mother was such a can-do person.  It seemed like she was always busy doing  projects along with the ever-present routine chores.  Her old treadle sewing machine was rarely idle; and drawers throughout the house were steadily kept in order.  Even our kitchen junk drawer’s miscellany was noticeably organized.

Especially fascinating was the manner in which she tackled reupholstering jobs.  Each step was methodically ordered; and a lovely new piece of furniture would magically appear when she was finished.  We had a Victorian horsehair, threadbare loveseat that was transformed into a luxurious olive colored settee, later to be recovered, again, with fabric that appeared as fine needlepoint.  Once more, we had a gorgeous addition to our living room! 

As I recall Mom’s orderly progress in recovering furniture, I am reminded of the Twelve Step Programs utilized by many who are working their way toward freedom from addiction.  Each Step – when thoroughly experienced – moves the person forward toward recovery.  The old binding cover of addictive behaviors is removed – piece by piece – and replaced with a fresh covering of healthy perspectives. 

For this freedom month’s Blog, here is a list of “Freedoms” adapted from the basic Twelve Steps.  As you read each Freedom, below, notice the progression of unbinding that can take place.  May these Freedoms attained bring you and your loved ones

RE-mission from harmful ways, RE-newal of life as it is truly meant to be, and

RE-connection with each other!

Freedoms of RE-Covery:

1.      Freedom from a power that can kill me

2.      Freedom to realize that there is, also, a power that wants me to live

3.      Freedom to  turn to the power that wants me to live

4.      Freedom to look realistically at myself

5.      Freedom to break the binding of secrecy and share with a trusted person a realistic assessment of myself

6.      Freedom to be in readiness to tackle – and go about removing – my “defects of character”

7.      Freedom to ask God to remove my shortcomings

8.      Freedom to get past denial and make a list of everyone to whom I have brought harm and to have the courage to be willing to make amends

9.      Freedom to fix what I can with regard to the harms I have committed

10.  Freedom to be steadily honest with myself so that I can continue to break free (and stay free) from behaviors that could limit my recovery

11.  Freedom for me to live and grow within God’s will through my personal prayers and meditations

12.   Freedom to help others by sharing the message of hope and recovery

May each of you experience new and healthy freedoms that recovery can bring during this freedom-month of July!

For more information on the 12 Steps of Recovery, go to www.gamblersanonymous.org  and www.gamanon.org

To learn more about problem gambling and recovery issues, visit www.grmumc.org

Blessings,

Rev. Janet Jacobs

Director, Gambling Recovery Ministries    

      

Post 28

Connecting Passion and Pain: where is the Church?

During February, I attended a convocation for our United Methodist Indiana clergy.  One evening during a special worship service, we were challenged by stirring words from the guest preacher.  This afternoon, I reviewed my notes on the message given; and, once again, my heart, soul, and mind were stirred. 

For this GRM Blog entry, I would like to re-present some of those thoughts in the hopes of challenging all readers to look beyond …

beyond what they are doing in the name of - and for the sake of - their own individual faith-beliefs and convictions.

First, allow me to pose a few questions.

·        What stirs you about your faith?

·        Are you involved in a ministry about which you feel passionate?

·        Do you yearn – or sense a calling – for making a difference in your community or the world?

·        Are you involved in a community that regularly practices “holy habits” (i.e., certain spiritual disciplines) together?

Second, how do you see the following notes as they may connect with the above questions?

·        Mother Teresa observed that in America, she had never seen such suffering … many walls and no caring.

·        We need to get out of our [church] buildings – out of our bubbles.

·        We need to err on the side of grace: love people well;  listen;  straight talk;  confess to each other.

·        Some of us need to be taken advantage of ... a little bit more.

·        Holy troublemakers insist on the world being what God dreams it to be.

·        If you try to shut down Revival, then you’re [messing] with God

·        We need to connect our deepest passions with the world’s 

    deepest pains.

·        One of the most radical views of Christianity is to move 

    closer to pain.

So many times, I say to folks who inquire about Gambling Recovery Ministries, “We are always doing a new thing.”  For eleven years, now, we have continued to break parish boundaries and bring the good news of recovery from problem gambling - via this faith-based outreach – to many corners of America:  to persons in addiction (and their loved ones) who have given up hope; to professionals who want to learn how to include spirituality within their work with gamblers; and to clergy who need information and assistance in helping parishioners lost in addiction.

Yes, to truly bring hope and help to those suffering from gambling problems – and do not know where to turn for help – 

we need to ... 

·        raise the questions about pain and suffering;

·        tear down the walls of isolated comfort;

·        truly see the marginalized…

    AND THEN -

·        we will be in position to meet many more starting points of God’s continuing dreams!       

For more information on hope and help for recovery from gambling addiction, go to www.grmumc.org

Rev. Janet Jacobs

Director, Gambling Recovery Ministries

Post 27

New  Feature !!  
GRM Blog Quarterly Worksheets

Worksheet #1:  Accountability 

An interesting discussion, at a recent accountability group, ensued following the question, Are we fulfilling the needs of this group?  Essentially, the question was geared at meeting the needs of new persons coming into the group.  As we addressed this question, the focus inevitably turned to each individual and his/her own reasons for keeping steady with attendance.  Why did they keep coming back?  How did the group members help each other in keeping their recovery goals?  In what ways were they accountable to each other?


So often,  persons tell me how they are reluctant to join accountability groups.  Many times, it's not about being accountable to someone else; rather the opinion expressed is a general dislike for being accountable - period!  


Indeed, over the years, I have gone through goal-setting periods wherein various measures of self improvement are attained - or at least, worked toward.  Yes, I can attest that accountability (either to just myself or to others) does seem to provide more success than disappointment.  And yes, I don't always like having to be accountable.  Still, the framework of accountability can be significantly helpful when working toward a special goal.


FIRST and FOREMOST, I have learned that being accountable works best when the individual is self-motivated AND initiates the accountability process in order to set a goal - in other words, it is his/her own plan!  


Below is our first of a series of Blog Worksheets - new to our GRM Blog.  This addresses ACCOUNTABILITY and it serves as a basic starting point.  The items may seem almost too simple - but again - it places the individual at the very beginning of goal setting ... and toward the subsequent acts of being accountable, whether to oneself only or to others.  

 For more information on Gamblers Anonymous and Gam-Anon Meetings, go to www.gamblersanonymous.org 

For more information on problem gambling, visit  

www.ncpgambling.org 

For more information on Indiana treatment options, go to

www.indianaproblemgambling.org

OR

www.grmumc.org 

Rev. Janet Jacobs

Director, Gambling Recovery Ministries

Accountability Worksheet 

Individual Checklist:   

·         To whom am I accountable:  

          myself only;  

          another person;

      
      a group organized for accountability;   
       

      several persons not organized for accountability

·         Within what time frame am I accountable?  once/day;         once/week; once/month; other

·         What individual goals have I set?

·   What methods am I using to keep track of my                        progress/relapses?

______________________________________________________________________________ 

·     How am I rewarding myself for the progress I am 
      making?      

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

·   How am I encouraging myself when a relapse occurs or progress seems to be flat-lining?

______________________________________________________________________________

.  What emergency plans do I have if a relapse is seriously
    threatening?   ______________________________________________________________________________

·     On the back side of this page, list words/expressions/quotations/passages of scripture (and/or sacred writings) of encouragement to coach you through your recovery work.  Continue to add more as you come across helpful thoughts/advice.

Post 26    

Our Needs:  They Go Wa-a-a-y Back    

Earlier this month, I attended a conference in Owensboro, Kentucky, entitled Spiritual Caregiving for Persons with Co-Occurring Disorders.  The event was coordinated by RiverValley Behavioral Health and the Owensboro District of the United Methodist Kentucky Annual Conference.  It was rewarding to see a wonderful turnout and  shared effort between treatment providers and the faith-based community.

The presenter, Jeffrey M. Georgi from Duke University Medical Center, held our attention throughout the entire day.  His explanations and insights on addiction composed valuable take-home information for all of us who work in the mental health field of addiction and recovery.   Although - so often - we hear how significant for infants is the fulfilling of their basic needs, Rev. Georgi's review of three psychological needs reminded me that we can never hear enough about this topic.

When I considered the outlined needs,  I thought:  how basic - and incredibly important - they are.  If unfulfilled, how does the baby grow - always in search of such needs?  Then too, how might a lifestyle, influenced by addiction, be connected?

Let's take a look at the three needs:

•  to be mirrored:  when a baby smiles, (s)he has a need to be smiled back; when (s)he cries, there is a need for a concerned response, etc.

• to be seen:  hence the child knows that others deem him/her as important enough to be looked at, watched, noticed, paid attention to ...

• to be regarded as unequivocally wonderful:  in other words, the baby is of high value; (s)he essentially is a person of worth: no doubt about it!

Reflecting on these above needs, it becomes obvious: are not these needs STILL significant to older children/teens/adults ...  persons of any age?   And more to the point: how can the goals of recovery work strive to meet these needs in a healthy, constructive way?

There is treatment for compulsive gambling and there is group support through Gamblers Anonymous and Gam-Anon through which individuals can find help and hope  in recovery!

 For more information on Gamblers Anonymous and Gam-Anon Meetings, go to www.gamblersanonymous.org 

For more information on problem gambling, visit  

www.ncpgambling.org 

For more information on Indiana treatment options, go to

www.indianaproblemgambling.org

OR

www.grmumc.org 

Rev. Janet Jacobs

Director, Gambling Recovery Ministries