Post 74

THE END OF RELAPSE … ?

So it’s been a journey – through relapse. 

In June (Post 71), this Blog focused on the ROOTS, or beginnings of relapse.  We took a look at the most common triggers that could steer persons off their recovery roads and dump them into the ditch of relapse.  A play on words HALT both cautioned and defined.  Halt the edgy feelings and temptations that come with Hunger, Anger, Loneliness, and Tiredness.

August’s Blog (Post 73) explored further roots as described by both recovering compulsive gamblers and their loved ones.  These down-to-earth practitioners in recovery agreed: the presented information described relapse beginnings as the basic lessening of one’s recovery work. Once again from Post 73,  relapse as they defined it, “has its beginning when recovery work lags and those personal, individual weaknesses gain in their self-defeating efforts ... so much so that the return to a condition of illness aptly describes the full spectrum of relapse – right from the start!”

So is there an end to relapse?   Hopefully, yes ... a healthy one.

Naturally, the goal to wellness would be to climb out of the ditch and continue traveling  the road of recovery.  Moreover – and of course - avoiding future ventures in relapse maintains recovery and deepens individual growth toward maturity and wellness.

For September’s edition, I want to highlight ideas and suggestions to maintain recovery and to keep from relapsing.  The following comes from the experts in recovery: GA and Gam-Anon. 

Highlights from Maintaining Abstinence from Gambling ( www.gamblersanonymous.org)

·         Make recovery support groups (GA) a vital part of your life … something you are doing for yourself!  Participate in the group discussions (therapy).

·         Keep in contact (telephone, etc.) with fellow members of your support group … all need encouragement!

·         Individual character defects and daily problems need to be addressed regularly

·         Keep the stop sign on-guard against gambling thoughts and be diligent about this!

 Several questions and thoughts from Twenty Survival Questions for Gamblers Anonymous Members  (for more questions, go to  www.gamblersanonymous.org )

·         Do you “continue to seek the help of a power greater than yourself in trying to maintain a normal way of thinking and living?”

·         Do you “continue to be aware that your gambling compulsion is only ‘arrested’ not ‘cured’?”

·         Do you “continue not to tempt or test yourself by not associating with people who gamble and not going in or near gambling establishments …?”

For loved ones of problem gamblers, here are some questions from Gam-Anon’s The Second Twenty Questions  (for more questions, visit www.gam-anon.org )

·         “Have you ‘let go of people’ and things you cannot control?”

·         “Are you aware of your feelings and can you express them?”

·         “Are you focusing on your priorities?”

·         “Do you have dreams, aspirations, and a sense of humor?”

Another helpful resource from Gam-Anon is the “Moral Self-Inventory” (Watch For; Work Towards; Strive For).  You can obtain this Worksheet by contacting Gam-Anon International Service Office – see above website.  Note: this is a very good resource for both problem gamblers and their loved ones.

Blessings,

Rev. Janet Jacobs

Founding Director

 Gambling Recovery Ministries

www.grmumc.org

FINALLY, RE-CHECK POST 72

 and THE NOTICE ABOUT THE UPCOMING TRAINING

 FOR THECLERGY/LAY MINISTERS CERTIFICATION!

NOTICE!  REGISTRATION IS NOW OPEN!!

 

Modules 1, 2, 3 and 4 … Free Training Sessions during Fall 2015

 

 

ACGCCB Clergy/Lay Ministers Certification

 

in Problem Gambling Prevention, Education, Awareness,

 

and Spiritual Outreach Care

 

MODULE 1:  FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 6

 

MODULE 2:  SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 7

 

MODULE 3:  FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 13

 

MODULE 4:  SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 14

 

ALL SESSIONS:  9:30 AM -  4:00 PM

 

Location:  ST. PETER CATHOLIC CHURCH

 

145 Barr Street, Lexington, Kentucky

 

(SEE MORE DETAILS OF THESE FREE TRAININGS 

IN GRM BLOG  AUGUST  POST 72)

 

 

 

 

Post 73

RELAPSE: What Are the Roots? (Part 2 of Relapse Series)

In July, I had the privilege of conducting a workshop on the topic of Relapse to members of the recovering community.  The presentation was entitled “Rooting Out Relapse: It’s an Equal Opportunity” … equal opportunity since both recovering dependents and codependents were in the audience.   The invitation was for me to address those recovering from addiction as well as their family members and friends. 

Commonly held is the notion that relapse occurs only to persons who have “fallen off the wagon” of sobriety.  At the same time, there is sound truth undergirding the call for loved ones to work on their own recoveries – that is, recovery from actions and attitudes that encourage and build on their own dependent  responses to the addict’s behaviors.  How then do I speak to both sides?

To be sure, the hour was one filled with fascinating engagement by the attendees.  From the very first participation-question, it was obvious that this group knew the topic well – both sides!  To the invitation to define “relapse”, the audience was off and running … and was I surprised!  Instead of Webster definitions (which I had anticipated), responses came describing personal situations that would encourage or provoke relapse: the classic HALT conditions (hungry, angry, lonely, tired), boredom and not enough constructive leisure activities, dropping out of support meetings and/or therapy sessions, and even holidays and vacations.  Surrounding each “definition” were many, many related individual situations.  The participants were already in the midst of the essential recognition of when relapse begins!   

As one description of the beginning phase of relapse has it: the earliest stage of relapse occurs when those personal weakening circumstances begin to enter back into the life of the individual going through recovery. In other words, relapse can begin when the recovery work starts to bog down … when the strengthening, therapeutic (and healthy) strongholds begin to be ignored, minimized, or neglected.  And here is where it gets interesting: the individual is not even thinking about THE behavior (the addictive or codependent behavior), at this point.  There are no active triggers/urges being recognized or felt ...yet.  Instead, what is significant here is that there is a change in the recovery-lifestyle … and those personal conditions are starting to set up the slippery slope(s) which, in turn, could soon usher the individual back into a life of using/ abuse/ addiction/ codependency.

Once the recovery-lifestyle begins to slip, that’s when the slippery slope starts to form.  Something viewed, heard, or smelled nudges a thought … one that would have been responded to in a recovery-minded manner.  This time, however, the individual circumstances – and subsequently, the lessoning of the recovery reins – present memories of bygone times when the old, dysfunctional behavior was firmly in place.   Old friends associated with the former life may make re-entry … and more memories come.  Or a person opens the door (once again) to fear, fault-finding, and waning self-confidence … and the slope’s ride races toward ever-present suspicion and preoccupation of worries.

Taking a step toward that slope, the thoughts gather – and cluster with more thoughts.  The person becomes increasingly vulnerable, particularly since the recovery-defenses have been loosening, or worse, crumbling.  Though the actions may not have occurred, yet, it is most likely, now, that the mind has relapsed (or is on the verge of relapsing). 

Then the opportunity comes.  The mind is willing and the rest of the body responds.  The recovery-guards are off-duty: relapse!  How could this “suddenly” happen?  And still, as described above, the process of relapse had already developed.  The action was a response to what had been occurring – especially when the recovery-life was not firmly in place.  

The workshop attendees had it right: “relapse” as they defined it, has its beginning when recovery work lags and those personal, individual weaknesses gain in their self-defeating efforts ... so much so that the return to a condition of illness aptly describes the full spectrum of relapse – right from the start!   

Blessings,

 

Rev. Janet Jacobs

Founding Director

Gambling Recovery Ministries

For more information on problem gambling and the process of recovery, go to  Gamblers Anonymous at www.gamblersanonymous.org  and Gam-Anon at www.gam-anon.org

Visit: a resource for women gamblers, www.femalegamblers.info

Other helpful resources:

www.indianaproblemgambling.org   

www.kycpg.org  

www.ipgapindiana.edu  

www.calpg.org   

www.christsd.com  

http://myfount.com/stream.aspx?idx=506        

www.ncpgambling.org  

 

Post 72

CLERGY/LAY MINISTER CERTIFICATION, FIRST-AIDERS, FIRST RESPONDERS

I received an interesting e-mail recently.  The sender had participated in a two year international project to design training guidelines for nonclinical persons who could, thereby, stand in the gap between treatment professionals and those affected (directly and indirectly) by gambling addiction. The “first-aiders” would receive training on the dynamics of compulsive gambling and the issues faced – and anticipated – during the process of recovery.

It was fascinating material!  Fascinating and confirming that the new Clergy/Lay Ministers Certification from the American Compulsive Gambling Counselor Certification Board is on-track with professionals of international status, and also members of the recovering community.  Below is a listing of the American Board’s Clergy/Lay Ministers Training Topics – many of which are, also, expectations of the guidelines for a “first-aiders” training program:

Motivations for Gambling, Risk Factors, Signs and Symptoms of a Gambling Problem, How to Address a Gambling Problem, Professional Help: What to Expect, Navigating Financial Issues, Responding to the Problem Gambler and Supporting Change, The Family Members’ Responses and Steps for Their Recovery, Spiritual Issues and Care of the Gambler and the Family.

 With this said, I am very pleased to announce the American Board’s next Training Sessions for the Clergy/Lay Ministers Certification … coming up in November!

Here are the details!

NOTICE!

Modules 1, 2, 3 and 4 … Free Training Sessions during Fall 2015

ACGCCB Clergy/Lay Ministers Certification

in Problem Gambling Prevention, Education, Awareness,

and Spiritual Outreach Care

MODULE 1:  FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 6

MODULE 2:  SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 7

MODULE 3:  FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 13

MODULE 4:  SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 14

ALL SESSIONS:  9:30 AM -  4:00 PM

Location:  ST. PETER CATHOLIC CHURCH

145 Barr Street, Lexington, Kentucky

NOTES:

Registration is open.  Register at CCGNJAlice@aol.com

Please, indicate the Module(s) for which you are registering OR all Modules. 

Meals: Lunches will be “working lunches” within the schedule.  You may bring your own sack lunch or order (for delivery) from local restaurants.  We will have coffee and light refreshments available in the mornings.

Directions: 

St. Peter Catholic Church is located at 145 Barr St., Lexington, KY 40507   (859)252-7551

Directions to Parking Lot at Church School:  from I 75.  Exit 113 and drive west on US 27 / US 68. 

Turn left onto W. Short St.  Turn left onto N. Limestone St.  Turn right onto Pleasant Stone Street. 

Parking is located behind the school building and the Wethington Parish Center.  Access the lot from Pleasant Stone Street.  ALSO street parking, in front of the church, is free on Saturdays.  Please try to park on the street on Saturdays.

The Clergy/Lay Ministers Certification is a Program of the American Compulsive Gambling Counselors Certification Board.  This is a National Certification. For more information on this Certification, contact the American Board at CCGNJAlice@aol.com

 

Blessings,

 

Rev. Janet Jacobs

Founding Director

Gambling Recovery Ministry

www.grmumc.org

 

For more information on problem gambling and recovery issues, visit Gamblers Anonymous at www.gamblersanonymous.org  and Gam-Anon at www.gam-anon.org  

Post 71

Halt the Roots of Relapse!

HALT! The Roots of Relapse

 Seeing double?  Same words.  Same order.   Yes.

Same meaning?  Perhaps … but look again.

The first is an imperative – a command, an order.

The second  - a description or even an explanation.  The exclamation mark clues us in …

 first:

Stop/halt  (growing/cultivating)  the roots of what may become a relapse.

second:

What are some identifiable “roots” of relapse?   H.A.L.T.

Often, recovery language speaks of the “roots” of addiction.  Then too, we hear of “recovery roots”.  Less commonly discussed, though, are the “roots of relapse” … usually referred to as reactivation of the addictive response to triggers and urges. 

It’s been known that for some folks, vacations can serve as triggers to relapse.  Possibly, the change of scenery (that once was associated with the addiction) or the time-on-your-hands trigger, etc., comes into play and pushes the old “action” or “escape” buttons. 

So for this beginning-of-the-summer edition of the GRM Blog, I want us to take a look at the dynamics of four, often stated, RELAPSE  ROOTS.  We’ll do this in the form of a set of simply stated (though possibly not simple to do) questions pertaining to each “root”.  As you go through these questions, perhaps, you will find more questions to consider in exploring the underground/covered –up/ hidden forces that may cultivate the dynamics that can encourage the possibilities of slips and relapses.

Remember, it has been observed:  relapse does not occur in a vacuum!

H -  Hunger 

·      Most obviously, am I in need of food?  Am I having meals regularly?  Many people, when hungry, become irritable and look for a quick fix to the fill the empty stomach … quick fix whether it be actual food (perhaps, the quick, unhealthy kinds) or something else to satisfy a down mood.

·     Still on the topic of eatable food, how am I satisfying the nutritional needs of my body (including my brain)?  It’s a no brainer (sorry for the pun) that our bodies and minds feel better with healthy diets … plus certain medications work more efficiently with appropriately balanced nutrition.

·    What do I hunger for?  Do I experience yearnings to accomplish, to try, to experience, to attain, to become …?

A – Angry

·      Is there a present issue that needs particular attention that I need to resolve (1) individually with courage and Divine Help (2) with the console of another person?

·    Are there longstanding provocations for anger  for which I need to find help from a counselor?

·    Is my personal situation of anger one where the Serenity Prayer especially applies?  (to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference)

L – Lonely

·      Is loneliness a consistent part of my daily life?  Loneliness can be a very real, deep-down sense of existence.  In fact, it can be experienced as so pervasive that it can be debilitating.  It affects not only one’s self esteem but also the person’s estimation of his/her own abilities.  Loneliness fears, questions, doubts, and limits. 

·     Are there baby-steps that I can take to open doors to meaningful communication and interaction with others?  Often we may overlook ways to reach out to others.  Even if the steps to take are mini ones, we may discover connections and activities that were not obvious due to our blankets of loneliness.   Sometimes, just the doing will bring fresh awareness to one’s situation … and more ideas for meaningful attempts to connect.

·    To what do I attribute this pervasive feeling?  This is a very individual and personal question.  It may be one to explore with a professional counselor.  Keeping involved with one’s recovery fellowship (GA, Gam-Anon, AA, NA, OA, etc.) and volunteering for responsibilities, within, will keep relationships going with others who, likewise, are working their recovery programs.  They may be lonely too!

 

T – Tired 

·      Does   H, A, L = T ?  Review what has been mentioned already.  Feeling tired holds us down.  It affects our physical work, mental energy, and emotional sense of well-being.  Debilitating tiredness may very well intertwine with all three of the above points.  Professional health check-ups are recommended!

May this summer for you be one of healthy renewal, affirmation, learning, peace, and courage!

Blessings,

Rev. Janet Jacobs

Founding Director
Gambling Recovery Ministries
www.grmumc.org

For more information on gambling addiction and recovery issues, go to www.gamblersanonymous.org  and www.gam-anon.org 

 

 

Pioneers and Frontiers ... Marilyn Lancelot

Post 70

As you may know, Kentucky has been the seat of recent training sessions for clergy and lay ministers for the American Board's new Clergy/Lay Ministers Certification in Gambling Addiction Prevention, Education, Awareness, and Spiritual Outreach Care.  Within the instruction, I often remind those working on this national certification that - so far - we are "pioneers" as faith-based ministers specializing as First Responders in (what I will call) the "frontier" mental health field of problem gambling recovery.  Yes, there is ongoing research and nationally certified counselors continue to be trained.  Moreover, fellowships as Gamblers Anonymous and Gam-Anon are encouraging supports for persons seeking help and recovery.

However, when I was assigned to create and implement a gambling recovery outreach in 2001, there was little to pattern-after this new-start parish ministry.  Yet I did find a wonderful resource to understand further the plight of persons suffering from gambling addiction.  The website, geared to women gamblers, included heartfelt and heart-wrenching letters about their trials and victories. Counselors wrote educational articles on compulsive gambling and recovery issues ... testimonies made the stories personal and real.  I read and read ... and I learned and learned.

This website www.female.info is the creation of a woman who personally knows about both the torment of and the recovery from compulsive gambling.  Marilyn Lancelot brought the reality of women gamblers to nationwide attention in the 1990's and into the 21st century.  Her online Women Helping Women Newsletter is an international outreach of encouragement to those struggling against gambling addiction.  I salute you, Marilyn, for telling your story, being honest with us, your readers, opening more and more GA Meetings (including prison GA Meetings), speaking out about the basics and the details of the devastations of addiction, and providing a worldwide platform for shared advice and celebration stories!  Keep on pioneering!  There are many frontiers to explore in the land of recovery!  Thank you for your courage to say the words we all need to hear!
                                      ...........................................................................

I have written the below article for the final edition of Women Helping Women, June 2015.   

We were invited and challenged to be "pioneers".  It was an exciting event! 

The huge hotel ballroom was filled with professionals, anxious to hear about treatment for problem gambling.  I had driven 2 ½ hours to attend Ohio’s First Ever Annual Conference on Problem Gambling.  The keynote speaker excitedly exclaimed that, years before, a “conference” on problem gambling might be a handful of colleagues gathered around her office space.  Instead, this was 2003 … and a real crowd of therapists and social workers had gathered.

Gambling Recovery Ministries (GRM) was not quite two years old then … and the call to be a pioneer in the burgeoning, frontier field of problem gambling recovery rang true.  Four years earlier, a soon-to-be-leader in the field of compulsive gambling recovery offered a pioneering outreach to those struggling with gambling addiction  – particularly –  female gamblers.   Her endeavor was a website designed to encourage women - seeking recovery, maintaining recovery, and celebrating recovery!  Marilyn Lancelot, through straight-forward, honest sharing of her hellish experiences in addiction, opened up worldwide awareness to the plight of women struggling with an addiction once reserved, by the public eye, to men only.

This website, www.femalegamblers.info , welcomed contributions from both those experiencing, first-hand, problems with gambling as well as counselors and clinicians with specialties in serving this population.  Over the years, articles and letters to the Women Helping Women Newsletter have come from the website’s worldwide readership.  Compiled, Marilyn Lancelot’s website’s entries would be an encyclopedic treasure trove of testimonies, clinical commentaries, and openly candid, tried-and-true, soundbites of advice.

It was through this media and her first book, Gripped by Gambling, I became acquainted with Marilyn.  We met at a national conference on problem gambling wherein she served as one of the special speakers.  I bought “Gripped …” for the Gambling Recovery Ministries Resource Center Library and have loaned it to others seeking to understand more about recovery from gambling addiction.   Needless to say, it’s been a blessing!

Marilyn’s message of  both reality and hope speaks loud and clear.  Her authentic testimony has been heard at the National Gambling Impact Study Commission and the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse; and she continues to speak at numerous professional conferences nationwide.  Again, she is the voice of experience and encouragement  -  crying out to others in the wilderness of their despair - the truly, good news of recovery.

Marilyn’s work in gambling recovery continues to pioneer outside of publishing and speaking engagements too.  Her advocating of recovery through Gamblers Anonymous keeps calling women to take the journey to serenity and wellness.

Thank you, Marilyn!  May God bless you as you continue to pioneer and bring to all your transforming messages of personal understanding and hope for recovery!

Blessings with Sincere Gratefulness,

 Rev. Janet Jacobs

Director, Gambling Recovery Ministries

www.grmumc.org

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kentucky Clergy/Lay Ministers Certification Trainings in the Home Stretch!

Post 69

First, Lexington ... second, Morehead ... next, Shepherdsville (Greater Louisville Area)! 

We are stretching across the State of Kentucky with the American Board's pioneering Clergy/Lay Ministers Certification in Problem Gambling Prevention, Education, Awareness, and Spiritual Outreach Care.  The curriculum covers both clinical and spiritually-focused information; the take-home materials are quite practical to the parish and ready to use; and the instruction is noteworthy and accompanied by real-life testimonies.  Each time, we've met enthusiasm and keen interest!

During May 11-13, Modules 3 and 4 will be given in conjunction with the Kentucky Faith-Based Prevention Enhancement Site Fourth Annual Conference: Empowerment for Prevention!  This conference is also  a collaboration with the Kentucky Faith-Based Coalition.  The Conference dates are May 11-12.

Below is information about both - the Modules' Training Sessions and the Conference. 

NOTICE!  Modules 3 and 4 Free Training Sessions

 ACGCCB  CLERGY/LAY MINISTERS CERTIFICATION

in Problem Gambling Prevention, Education, Awareness, and Spiritual Outreach Care

 

MONDAY, TUESDAY, and WEDNESDAY, MAY 11, 12, 13

2000 West Fourth Street, Shepherdsville, Kentucky (Family Worship Center Church)

Monday:  MODULE  3 

9:30 AM - 11:30 AM  at  Family Worship Center Church, Shepherdsville, KY  

 

Kentucky Faith-Based “Empowerment for Prevention” Conference  Registration & Exhibits 12:00-1:00

Conference Opening Plenary  1:00   Paroquet Springs Conference Center, Shepherdsville, KY

Information on this Conference can be found at  www.kyfaithbasedprevention.com  or e-mail kyfaithbasedprevention@yahoo.com

 
Tuesday:  MODULE  3 continues 

6:30 PM – 9:30 PM  at  Family Worship Center Church

 
Wednesday:  MODULE  4 

9:00 AM – 4:00 PM  at  Family Worship Center Church

ADDITIONAL NOTES:

Registration is still open.  If you have not already registered yet, you may register at kyfaithbasedprevention@yahoo.com   Please, indicate the Module for which you are registering OR both Modules. 

MEALS are on your own at local restaurants, convenient to the training site.  We will have coffee, tea, and pastries on Monday and Wednesday mornings.

 DIRECTIONS:

The church is located at 2000 Hwy. 44 West in Shephersville, Kentucky.  At I-65 exit 117, turn West and go 3 miles to the church on the right side of the road.  From Dixie Hwy. (US 31 W, US 60) turn East onto Hwy 44; proceed 11 miles to the church on the left side of the road.  A parking lot is at the church.

EXTRA NOTE: Repeat Training Sessions for Modules 1 and 2 are scheduled for Tuesday/Wednesday, June 9-10, in either Louisville or Lexington.  Details on location and times will be forthcoming.

The Clergy/Lay Ministers Certification is a Program of the American Compulsive Gambling Counselors Certification Board.  This is a National Certification.  For more information on this Certification, e-mail  CCGNJAlice@aol.com