Post 29

The Freedom of  RE-Covering

My mother was such a can-do person.  It seemed like she was always busy doing  projects along with the ever-present routine chores.  Her old treadle sewing machine was rarely idle; and drawers throughout the house were steadily kept in order.  Even our kitchen junk drawer’s miscellany was noticeably organized.

Especially fascinating was the manner in which she tackled reupholstering jobs.  Each step was methodically ordered; and a lovely new piece of furniture would magically appear when she was finished.  We had a Victorian horsehair, threadbare loveseat that was transformed into a luxurious olive colored settee, later to be recovered, again, with fabric that appeared as fine needlepoint.  Once more, we had a gorgeous addition to our living room! 

As I recall Mom’s orderly progress in recovering furniture, I am reminded of the Twelve Step Programs utilized by many who are working their way toward freedom from addiction.  Each Step – when thoroughly experienced – moves the person forward toward recovery.  The old binding cover of addictive behaviors is removed – piece by piece – and replaced with a fresh covering of healthy perspectives. 

For this freedom month’s Blog, here is a list of “Freedoms” adapted from the basic Twelve Steps.  As you read each Freedom, below, notice the progression of unbinding that can take place.  May these Freedoms attained bring you and your loved ones

RE-mission from harmful ways, RE-newal of life as it is truly meant to be, and

RE-connection with each other!

Freedoms of RE-Covery:

1.      Freedom from a power that can kill me

2.      Freedom to realize that there is, also, a power that wants me to live

3.      Freedom to  turn to the power that wants me to live

4.      Freedom to look realistically at myself

5.      Freedom to break the binding of secrecy and share with a trusted person a realistic assessment of myself

6.      Freedom to be in readiness to tackle – and go about removing – my “defects of character”

7.      Freedom to ask God to remove my shortcomings

8.      Freedom to get past denial and make a list of everyone to whom I have brought harm and to have the courage to be willing to make amends

9.      Freedom to fix what I can with regard to the harms I have committed

10.  Freedom to be steadily honest with myself so that I can continue to break free (and stay free) from behaviors that could limit my recovery

11.  Freedom for me to live and grow within God’s will through my personal prayers and meditations

12.   Freedom to help others by sharing the message of hope and recovery

May each of you experience new and healthy freedoms that recovery can bring during this freedom-month of July!

For more information on the 12 Steps of Recovery, go to www.gamblersanonymous.org  and www.gamanon.org

To learn more about problem gambling and recovery issues, visit www.grmumc.org

Blessings,

Rev. Janet Jacobs

Director, Gambling Recovery Ministries    

      

Post 28

Connecting Passion and Pain: where is the Church?

During February, I attended a convocation for our United Methodist Indiana clergy.  One evening during a special worship service, we were challenged by stirring words from the guest preacher.  This afternoon, I reviewed my notes on the message given; and, once again, my heart, soul, and mind were stirred. 

For this GRM Blog entry, I would like to re-present some of those thoughts in the hopes of challenging all readers to look beyond …

beyond what they are doing in the name of - and for the sake of - their own individual faith-beliefs and convictions.

First, allow me to pose a few questions.

·        What stirs you about your faith?

·        Are you involved in a ministry about which you feel passionate?

·        Do you yearn – or sense a calling – for making a difference in your community or the world?

·        Are you involved in a community that regularly practices “holy habits” (i.e., certain spiritual disciplines) together?

Second, how do you see the following notes as they may connect with the above questions?

·        Mother Teresa observed that in America, she had never seen such suffering … many walls and no caring.

·        We need to get out of our [church] buildings – out of our bubbles.

·        We need to err on the side of grace: love people well;  listen;  straight talk;  confess to each other.

·        Some of us need to be taken advantage of ... a little bit more.

·        Holy troublemakers insist on the world being what God dreams it to be.

·        If you try to shut down Revival, then you’re [messing] with God

·        We need to connect our deepest passions with the world’s 

    deepest pains.

·        One of the most radical views of Christianity is to move 

    closer to pain.

So many times, I say to folks who inquire about Gambling Recovery Ministries, “We are always doing a new thing.”  For eleven years, now, we have continued to break parish boundaries and bring the good news of recovery from problem gambling - via this faith-based outreach – to many corners of America:  to persons in addiction (and their loved ones) who have given up hope; to professionals who want to learn how to include spirituality within their work with gamblers; and to clergy who need information and assistance in helping parishioners lost in addiction.

Yes, to truly bring hope and help to those suffering from gambling problems – and do not know where to turn for help – 

we need to ... 

·        raise the questions about pain and suffering;

·        tear down the walls of isolated comfort;

·        truly see the marginalized…

    AND THEN -

·        we will be in position to meet many more starting points of God’s continuing dreams!       

For more information on hope and help for recovery from gambling addiction, go to www.grmumc.org

Rev. Janet Jacobs

Director, Gambling Recovery Ministries

Post 27

New  Feature !!  
GRM Blog Quarterly Worksheets

Worksheet #1:  Accountability 

An interesting discussion, at a recent accountability group, ensued following the question, Are we fulfilling the needs of this group?  Essentially, the question was geared at meeting the needs of new persons coming into the group.  As we addressed this question, the focus inevitably turned to each individual and his/her own reasons for keeping steady with attendance.  Why did they keep coming back?  How did the group members help each other in keeping their recovery goals?  In what ways were they accountable to each other?


So often,  persons tell me how they are reluctant to join accountability groups.  Many times, it's not about being accountable to someone else; rather the opinion expressed is a general dislike for being accountable - period!  


Indeed, over the years, I have gone through goal-setting periods wherein various measures of self improvement are attained - or at least, worked toward.  Yes, I can attest that accountability (either to just myself or to others) does seem to provide more success than disappointment.  And yes, I don't always like having to be accountable.  Still, the framework of accountability can be significantly helpful when working toward a special goal.


FIRST and FOREMOST, I have learned that being accountable works best when the individual is self-motivated AND initiates the accountability process in order to set a goal - in other words, it is his/her own plan!  


Below is our first of a series of Blog Worksheets - new to our GRM Blog.  This addresses ACCOUNTABILITY and it serves as a basic starting point.  The items may seem almost too simple - but again - it places the individual at the very beginning of goal setting ... and toward the subsequent acts of being accountable, whether to oneself only or to others.  

 For more information on Gamblers Anonymous and Gam-Anon Meetings, go to www.gamblersanonymous.org 

For more information on problem gambling, visit  

www.ncpgambling.org 

For more information on Indiana treatment options, go to

www.indianaproblemgambling.org

OR

www.grmumc.org 

Rev. Janet Jacobs

Director, Gambling Recovery Ministries

Accountability Worksheet 

Individual Checklist:   

·         To whom am I accountable:  

          myself only;  

          another person;

      
      a group organized for accountability;   
       

      several persons not organized for accountability

·         Within what time frame am I accountable?  once/day;         once/week; once/month; other

·         What individual goals have I set?

·   What methods am I using to keep track of my                        progress/relapses?

______________________________________________________________________________ 

·     How am I rewarding myself for the progress I am 
      making?      

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

·   How am I encouraging myself when a relapse occurs or progress seems to be flat-lining?

______________________________________________________________________________

.  What emergency plans do I have if a relapse is seriously
    threatening?   ______________________________________________________________________________

·     On the back side of this page, list words/expressions/quotations/passages of scripture (and/or sacred writings) of encouragement to coach you through your recovery work.  Continue to add more as you come across helpful thoughts/advice.

Post 26    

Our Needs:  They Go Wa-a-a-y Back    

Earlier this month, I attended a conference in Owensboro, Kentucky, entitled Spiritual Caregiving for Persons with Co-Occurring Disorders.  The event was coordinated by RiverValley Behavioral Health and the Owensboro District of the United Methodist Kentucky Annual Conference.  It was rewarding to see a wonderful turnout and  shared effort between treatment providers and the faith-based community.

The presenter, Jeffrey M. Georgi from Duke University Medical Center, held our attention throughout the entire day.  His explanations and insights on addiction composed valuable take-home information for all of us who work in the mental health field of addiction and recovery.   Although - so often - we hear how significant for infants is the fulfilling of their basic needs, Rev. Georgi's review of three psychological needs reminded me that we can never hear enough about this topic.

When I considered the outlined needs,  I thought:  how basic - and incredibly important - they are.  If unfulfilled, how does the baby grow - always in search of such needs?  Then too, how might a lifestyle, influenced by addiction, be connected?

Let's take a look at the three needs:

•  to be mirrored:  when a baby smiles, (s)he has a need to be smiled back; when (s)he cries, there is a need for a concerned response, etc.

• to be seen:  hence the child knows that others deem him/her as important enough to be looked at, watched, noticed, paid attention to ...

• to be regarded as unequivocally wonderful:  in other words, the baby is of high value; (s)he essentially is a person of worth: no doubt about it!

Reflecting on these above needs, it becomes obvious: are not these needs STILL significant to older children/teens/adults ...  persons of any age?   And more to the point: how can the goals of recovery work strive to meet these needs in a healthy, constructive way?

There is treatment for compulsive gambling and there is group support through Gamblers Anonymous and Gam-Anon through which individuals can find help and hope  in recovery!

 For more information on Gamblers Anonymous and Gam-Anon Meetings, go to www.gamblersanonymous.org 

For more information on problem gambling, visit  

www.ncpgambling.org 

For more information on Indiana treatment options, go to

www.indianaproblemgambling.org

OR

www.grmumc.org 

Rev. Janet Jacobs

Director, Gambling Recovery Ministries

  




 

Post 25

BACK TO THE BASICS: Pathological Gambling in Comparison with Substance Abuse

Earlier this month, I attended the California Problem Gambling Training Summit during "National Gambling Awareness Week" in San Diego. The program was excellent with Keynote Speakers, Dr. Deborah Haskins and Mr. Michael Burke, and many workshops filled with substantial information on problem gambling recovery issues. Over two hundred persons attended, many who were just starting out in their work toward gambling counselor certification. It was exciting to see persons of all ages wanting to learn more about treatment and group support for problem gamblers and their loved ones.
Once again, the differences and similarities between compulsive gambling and substance abuse were emphasized throughout the training. So often, I hear folks claim that all addictions are "alike" ... well, yes, in some ways. However, in order to more effectively treat pathological gambling, an understanding of the differences must be learned. Therefore, I have devoted this GRM Blog edition to the below easy-to-read listing of these similarities and the differences.


Similarites

Loss of control
Preoccupation
Negative impact on major life areas
Tolerance (needs more to get the same effect)
Withdrawal symptoms
Treatment and Self-help groups are effective means for recovery
Bio/psycho/social/spiritual disorders
Family involvement


Differences and Unique Characteristics of Pathological Gambling

Gambling is not self-limiting: gambling does not lead to intoxicated stupors
Behavior is not attributable to intoxication
More intense sense of shame and guilt
Greater denial and stronger defenses
Unpredictable outcome
Progression in addiction can be very swift (even less than a year)
Fantasies of success
No biological test
Intellectualizing with an overtime-working mind
Secrecy: gambling acts are easier to hide; an invisible addiction
Greater financial problems
Imperative and immediate need to protect family assets
Intensity of family anger is stronger and there is more confusion experienced by the family
Problems associated with gambling that impact the family tend to be discovered for longer lengths of time into the future
Less public awareness and acceptance
Often considered by the public to be a moral vice instead of an illness

An excellent resource that addresses this issue is a booklet entitled Pathological Gambling & Chemical Dependency available through Project Turnabout/Vanguard (Granite Falls, MN). For more information, visit www.projectturnabout.org
For further information about compulsive gambling and recovery issues, go to www.grmumc.org

Rev. Janet Jacobs
Director, Gambling Recovery Ministries

Post 24

LOVE RECOVERY OR LOVE ADDICTION


February is a month filled with the symbols and words of love. Prior to Valentine’s Day, sweetheart roses are a common sight and card racks are bursting with valentines. After the fourteenth, marked-down heart candies fill the sales bins. Several years ago during this month, I attended a GA/Gam-Anon Conference with the theme Love Your Recovery. How true, I thought at the time, is this title, directly, on target. If we love what we’re doing, we are more likely to succeed in our endeavors. Conversely, if, realistically speaking, we not only do not love – or even like – what we are spending time doing, most likely, we will have little success.

As thoughts re-gathered around this theme, I toyed with the idea of taking another look at the DSM IV signs of compulsive gambling … this time reworded from the addiction’s point of view. It was a grisly thought: look at addiction in the framework of the addiction’s loving the addict. What would that look like? How would the ten DSM IV criteria be characterized is such a predatory, in-love sort of way?

Below are the criteria stated as they appear in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 4th Edition (American Psychiatric Association). As you read each one, let your imagination rephrase the wording in the language of the addiction. An example for #1 might sound something like this: I love to fill the mind of the compulsive gambler with memories and dreams of winning and escape so that all (s)he thinks of is his/her gambling experiences.

You get the idea. When you are finished, what kind of picture do you have of pathological gambling? It is not a pretty sight!

1.Preoccupation. The subject has frequent thoughts about gambling experiences, whether past, future, or fantasy.

2.Tolerance. As with drug tolerance, the subject requires larger or more frequent wagers to experience the same "rush".

3.Withdrawal. Restlessness or irritability associated with attempts to cease or reduce gambling.

4.Escape. The subject gambles to improve mood or escape problems.

5.Chasing. The subject tries to win back gambling losses with more gambling.

6.Lying. The subject tries to hide the extent of his or her gambling by lying to family, friends, or therapists.

7.Loss of control. The person has unsuccessfully attempted to reduce gambling.

8.Illegal acts. The person has broken the law in order to obtain gambling money or recover gambling losses. This may include acts of theft, embezzlement, fraud, or forgery.

9.Risked significant relationship. The person gambles despite risking or losing a relationship, job, or other significant opportunity.

10.Bailout. The person turns to family, friends, or another third party for financial assistance as a result of gambling.

In plain language, addiction might very well appear as a love affair – between the addict and the dysfunctional behavior. Unfortunate? Yes, by all means.


And yet, one’s recovery can claim a prominent – and most productive – place in one’s heart. So rework the ten, in terms of loving recovery; and see what can become of the person in recovery. Now, this is a pretty sight!

For more information on recovery for compulsive gamblers, go to www.gamblersanonymous.org

For more information on recovery for loved ones of compulsive gamblers, visit www.gam-anon.org


For even more information on problem gambling recovery resources, visit www.grmumc.org

Rev. Janet Jacobs
Director, Gambling Recovery Ministries