Post 15

Powerlessness? ... Searching and Fearless? ... Entirely Ready?

OH, THOSE QUESTIONS!! (A Mini-Series on the Twelve Steps to Recovery)

This is Holy Week ... the week during which persons of the Christian faith recall and meditate upon Jesus' last few days prior to His crucifixion. This coming Sunday, Christians will celebrate Jesus' Resurrection from the dead with the Easter message. However, this week holds the believers' attention with the marking of each day's time before Jesus' earthly death. Every 24 hour period carried its own weight as the events continued to build to the ultimate closure of His mission to be accomplished on earth.

One day at a time: I would think that those words, certainly, may have been in Jesus' thoughts during that time. Two thousand plus years later, we hear that expression, steadily, from persons in recovery. Indeed, there is real wisdom to the focus of today. Yesterday's lessons (not regrets) are important and tomorrow's plans (not worries) are necessary; but we actually do live only one day at a time!

Twelve Step Recovery programs, likewise, provide a steady focus on living each day in a progression of/toward recovery. Every Step build upon the previous one, with an eye to the upcoming new Step. And each Step carries a weight of questions to be grasped, grappled with, mulled over, and answered by the person who truly strives toward wellness.

I have included several questions to be pondered with certain selected Steps during Part 1 of this Mini-Series on the Twelve Steps to Recovery.

Step 1: We admitted we were powerless over gambling - that our lives had become

unmanageable.Think of an example of your own powerlessness. Be specific.
Give an example of an event that has happened to illustrate that your life
is/was unmanageable. Again, be specific.

Step 2: [We] came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to a
normal way of thinking and living.Where are you in relation to your acceptance of a Higher Power?
Give an example of an event that demonstrated irrational behavior.

Step 3: [We] made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of this Power
of our own understanding.What are the main areas of your life that need to be turned over to God?
Explain.

Take one question at a time; focus deliberately; search and find ...

RECOVERY IS POSSIBLE and WORTH THE WORK!!

Next month, we'll examine our moral and financial inventories ...

one step at a time!

For more information on problem gambling and recovery issues, go to http://www.grmumc.org/

Rev. Janet Jacobs

Director, Gambling Recovery Ministries 

Post 14

Relapse: A Realistic Look

Relapse = an opportunity to work harder.

Any change is possible IF one puts their heart into it.

An interesting article from Focus, the Florida Council on Compulsive Gambling newsletter, discusses relapse in the context of recovery. It caught my eye because I had recently spoken with a person about the potential of relapse. He had been successfully abstaining from a certain dysfunctional coping behavior over the past few months. Then, out of the clear blue one day, he said to me, "Janet, now, don't be disappointed if sometime, now or in the coming months, I slip and have a relapse by ...."

We then moved into a conversation about what, truly, is relapse. I asked, "Do you see relapsing as committing a planned action ... and then, getting back on the wagon, as an entire event of (planned) relapse?" OR I asked again, "Do you understand relapse as an unplanned break from sobriety and then, a deliberate move back to abstinence and return to your program of recovery?" In other words, one event is planned up front (i.e., a planned break) and the other is an unplanned break with a purposeful return to recovery work.

Needless to say, our conversation continued and clarity on the topic of relapse was achieved.

Bulleted below are key thoughts to keep in mind about relapse and recovery:

• triggers to relapse can take the form of just about anything: persons (actions, words, facial expressions), places, things, even smells, etc.
• if relapse occurs, it should serve as an opportunity to work harder on one's recovery program
• relapse provides a reason to figure out what did NOT work
• relapse is a sure signal to renew commitment to change and purposeful recovery work
• episodes of relapse should not hinder efforts for family members to maintain control of their own lives
• recovery requires long-term change
• having recovery plans in place - with continued practice - serves as an antidote to relapse
• recovery = thinking about one's life differently!

Relapse certainly may occur - and be part of the process of recovery. The essential piece to remember is that process indicates and calls for ongoing movement toward and within recovery!

For more information on problem gambling and recovery issues, visit http://www.grmumc.org/

Rev. Janet Jacobs

Director, Gambling Recovery Ministries 

Post 13

Sports Betting - Who Me?

As the days of February fly by, I start looking toward March and basketball's approaching mini-season of March Madness. There's the built-in excitement of games between big rivals - and at the same time, there's the hope that a nationally unknown team will sneak in a totally, unpredicted victory over sure-winning stars. It's kind of like a countrywide version of the old-time Indiana end-of-season basketball tourneys, wherein every high school started the State finals on equal footing. With March Madness, it could be Hoosiers all over again!
And so, with such tournaments, is there excitement with unknown outcomes? Yes, indeed. Are there risks that odds are beat and unexpected upsets arise? Yes, again. Win/loss charts are kept and it's fun to track the teams' trails to victory. Still, temptation to bet on the games runs high during this heightened time of basketball awareness.

Once again, there's the reminder: sports betting is illegal! For team members, sports wagering can be disastrous. Academic and professional careers are placed, seriously, at risk if any athlete involves himself/herself in betting.

Moreover, there is the danger that betting on sports can become compulsive. An addiction can develop. Below are the warning signs for which to watch.

Signs of a Compulsive Sports Gambler

• excessive telephone bills to 900-number services
• obsession with point spreads
• unusual interest in obscure games
• association with other sports bettors
• shifting allegiances: for/against same team on different days
• frequently hitting up friends or family for loans
• extremely defensive when questioned about gambling behavior
• debts, unpaid bills, financial troubles
• going to others to get bailed out of desperate financial situations
• after losing, eager to bet again to get even or ahead

(Source: "Don't Bet on It"; National Endowment for Financial Education and the National Collegiate Association, 1999)

If you or someone you know has one or more of the above characteristics, get help. The National Council on Problem Gambling National Helpline Number is 1-800-522-4700. Call for help!

So enjoy the games. Enjoy the excitement. Have fun with predections. AND - don't bet!

For more information on problem gambling and recovery issues, go to http://www.grmumc.org/

Rev. Janet Jacobs

Director, Gambling Recovery Ministries 

Post 12

Sports Betting - NOT!

This week an unusual high school basketball game took place. Though the mega-favored team did win, their victory was managed only after three overtime periods and eventually countering the opposing team's relentless stalling strategy. Statistically unexpected, the final 38-31 score exhibited the losing team's possession drills that predominated their floor play.

We are in the midst of basketball season now. And every year, unusual stories surface about unexpected wins, unfortunate injuries, or illegal betting occurences. Although it may seem unnecessary to post reminders about the don'ts with regard to sports wagering by athletes, temptations do arise and very unfortunate consequences, sometimes, take place.

Whether an athlete (on any official team) is connected with high school, college, or professional sports, the no wagering policy holds. This means ...

• NO bets on ANY official team sports events
• NO sports pools: NONE!
• NO internet gambling on sports
• NO information sharing about your team to ANYONE who gambles: NOTHING! (including physical condition of players, team spirit, coaching and/or discipline issues, etc.)

Why the draconian NO's ? Here are quite possible consequences of sports betting by players:

• sports career can end - at any level
• expulsion from school: academic career can be severely jeopardized
• personal humiliation
• family humiliation
• team humiliation
• financial ruin
• present and future employment status at risk
• incarceration ... future employment at risk (again)
• emotional turmoil and possible development of compulsive gambling problems

As with other personal situations of problem gambling, there are signs, also, to identify a compulsive sports gambler. My GRM Blog February Post will describe these signs for which to watch.

Enjoy the basketball season; don't bet; and stay safe!

For more information on problem gambling and recovery issues, go to http://www.grmumc.org/

Rev. Janet Jacobs

Director, Gambling Recovery Ministries 

Post 11

Indeed … A Blessed Christmas to You!
In recent years, it seems that each December presents me with conversations about the upcoming holiday season. Yes, words of excitement and joyful anticipation are spoken – at times. However, it is, certainly, not uncommon to hear personal laments concerning the rush-rush-rush to amass gifts, decorations, and rich holiday foods.

In the midst of it all, I recall the Christmas, several years ago, when my father died. Unexpectedly Dad, almost 93 years old, broke his hip and passed on a few days later, right before Christmas. Hit by a monster blizzard, unexpectedly (again) conducting my own father’s funeral service, travel plans drastically altered … I didn’t care if there weren’t any decorations, stockings, tree, fruitcake, or even cookies. The calendar contained the date December 25 but it was like no other 12/25 experienced before.
That year reminded me, continuously, as we ploughed through the holiday season, of others – known and unknown – who suffer tragedy within their daily lives – regardless of any special date. Unfortunately, many folks are not immune to debilitating difficulties brought on by dysfunction. Families touched by addiction may even dread holidays deemed by society to be filled with happiness and love.

The families of compulsive gamblers (not yet in recovery) may very well anticipate the shutting off of electricity instead of a brightly lit Christmas tree. A loved one may be in prison for gambling offenses. A loved one may chose to gamble and not participate in a holiday event or gathering. Sadness, anger, fear … all may reign in the lives of those affected by compulsive gambling.

How then, can life be lived … special times remain special … blessings (of all kinds) be experienced – when dysfunction from compulsive gambling reaches into and impacts the lives of wives, husbands, children, siblings, and friends? Humbly, I offer the following suggestions – and pray that they may be of special help.

• Contact Gam-Anon Phone: (718) 352-1671 and
  Web Site: http://www.gam-anon.org/ for specific advice and real-life consultation with persons directly affected by compulsive gambling. They know what you are experiencing and they truly care.
• Ask for spiritual help. Consult with a clergy person and ask specifically for prayer.
• Be deliberate about involving all family members in a holiday project – especially one with a giving-to-others nature. Working in a community soup kitchen, reading together holiday literature selected at the library, or just saying holiday greetings to persons met in public: thus barriers of self-imposed isolation and feelings of aloneness can be broken.
• Tailor-make limits and boundaries ahead of the special holiday so that expectations will be realistic to your setting. Don’t compare. Find excitement in celebrating your own unique context.
• Look for and find the spiritual essence of your celebration. Attend a special service. Read holy literature. Say prayers for each other.
  
  May God, indeed, bless you with divine love that affirms, strengthens, and brings you peace!

For more information on problem gambling and recovery issues, visit http://www.grmumc.org/

Rev. Janet Jacobs
Director, Gambling Recovery Ministries

Post 10

More Federal Legislation ... in the Oven??

September's Blog carried a notice that the reality of legalized internet gambling may be just around the corner. H.R.2267 - the Internet Gambling Regulation, Consumer Protection, and Enforcement Act - passed out of House committee and would be headed for debate on the floor. (See Post 9, dated September 19, for more information on this proposed piece of legislation.)

Now, comes recent news that two other bills are bringing into focus further concerns with regard to gambling in America. H.R. 2906 proposes to amend the Public Health Service Act to specifically include problem and pathological gambling in programs of the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA). Included, also, in this bill are provisions to establish a national program to address the harmful consequences of problem gambling.

The Senate's version of the House bill is S. 3418 - the Comprehensive Problem Gambling Act of 2010. Similarly, this bill proposes to amend the Public Health Service Act to include, in programs of the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, programs to research, prevent, and address the harmful consequences of pathological and problem gambling.

What is important for all of us to know is that there are murmurings of concerted efforts to combine the House bills - in other words, to lump the legalization of internet gambling along with a national program to address harm resulting from compulsive gambling.

My question is WHY do these two very different pieces of legislation need to be under one heading? Surely, I am in favor of a national outreach that is designed to deal with the harmful consequences of problem/pathological gambling. This would indicate both a prevention focus and substantial help to those adversely affected by gambling addiction. Could not this focus of national dimension be significant enough to stand alone? Again, obviously, I think so.

However, the bill calling for the legalization of internet gambling opens up an entirely different category of concern. Once more, I ask: why should this be lumped with an entirely different piece of legislation? Most assuredly, there are distinctly, different camps of opinion on these two very different issues. (For consideration of red flags concerning internet gambling, see Post 9 of the GRM Blog.)

In addition, we need to be aware that these bills may very well be introduced during the Lame Duck Session following the elections in November. Representatives and Senators do pay attention to direct-to-their-offices phone calls and letters. Please, write/call your Congressional representatives and give them your opinion of such proposed legislation - and how these pieces should be officially presented. Your voice truly does count!

For more information on problem gambling and recovery issues,
visit http://www.grmumc.org/

Rev. Janet Jacobs

Director, Gambling Recovery Ministries 

Post 9

Legalized Internet Gambling Approaching Reality?

Will internet gambling soon become legal in our country? Most recently, the U.S. House of Representatives Finance Committee has caused a stir of debate and discussion over this topic. Eventually, H.R.2267 - the Internet Gambling Regulation, Consumer Protection, and Enforcement Act - passed out of committee. Introducing this bill, Representative Barney Frank defended it as he argued that the federal government's purpose is not to prevent individuals from making foolish legal purchases.

Still, there were amendments added in effort to provide potentially safer curbs to internet gambling. These additions to the bill are the following:

• a provision stating that persons behind on child support payments will be blocked from legalized internet gambling by the sites themselves;
• any sites that disregard U.S. laws, with respect to internet gambling, will be blocked from obtaining a license;
• a database of statistics will be created; such a base will not reveal private information with regard to gamblers' identities.

H.R. 2267 will now move to the House floor for consideration and debate.

With this immediately in mind, let us take a moment to review certain key aspects of internet gambling that wave several, significant red flags of impending danger:

• accessibility to gambling will become a 24-7/ no-need for transportation/ no-need for leaving home activity;
• therefore, internet gambling may, very well, encourage secret betting and increased personal isolation;
• many children have access to their parents' credit cards and many parents are unaware of their children's PC activities

Keep ears and eyes upon this bill. Contact your U.S. Representative.

Learn more about the dangers of internet gambling at:

http://www.800gambler.org/ArticleDetails.aspx?ContentID=53

http://www.800gambler.org/ArticleDetails.aspx?ContentID=12

For more information on problem gambling and recovery issues,

visit http://www.grmumc.org/

Rev. Janet Jacobs

Director, Gambling Recovery Ministries